Episode #015 How to Find your Flow as a Midlife Woman with Guest Gemma Junyent-King

Midlife Unlimited® is all about rocking our Second Spring our way. And movement plays a key role in this. This is a pivotal time for us Midlife women – it’s use it, or potentially lose it.

But finding the right way to move for us is vital. Our old exercise regime may no longer suit us for a myriad of reasons, and the thought of trying something new can be daunting – even overwhelming.

So join your host Kate Porter, The Midlife Metamorphosis Coach®, and her guest The Movement Maestra Gemma Junyent-King as they talk about How to Find your Flow as a Midlife woman.

The pair share insights and inspiration to prove that it’s not too late, we are never too old, and there is a way to move in Midlife that’s works for you.

In true Midlife Unlimited® style, Kate and Gemma also smash stereotypes and shake up the Midlife narrative talking about discovering – or rediscovering – our identity at this challenging time in our lives.

Gemma shares her story of how she has overcome life’s hurdles and a relocation from Spain to the UK to embrace her true self, gets roar and real lifting the lid on the taboo subject of being child-free by choice, and reveals how her playful streak and childlike curiosity drives her zest for Midlife. 

And tune in for Gemma’s three top tips for moving longer and finding mind-muscle connection so that we can our perfect imperfection. 

Connect with Gemma 

For a Complimentary Mobility Check up message Gemma via 

 https://www.facebook.com/share/18rg2M1pM4/

or 

https://www.linkedin.com/in/gemma-junyent-king

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:02

Welcome to Midlife Unlimited, the podcast for women who want more. I'm Kate Porter, the midlife metamorphosis coach, and I know what it's like to feel stuck navigating the midlife maze. I've looked in the mirror and thought, who is that woman? So Midlife Unlimited is here to let you know you are not alone. You don't have to put on a brave face and put up with it. You don't have to play it safe. Midlife Unlimited is all about ripping off that mask and telling midlife like it really is, smashing stereotypes, busting myths and misbehaving because our second spring is our time to shine our way. So welcome to today's episode. Now, like I just said, Midlife Unlimited is all about rocking our second spring our way and movement plays a key role in that. To be brutally honest, this is a pivotal time for us midlife women. It's use it or potentially lose it. But finding the right way to move for you is vital as well. Your old exercise regime may no longer suit you for a myriad of reasons. And the thought of trying something new can be daunting. So I am delighted to be joined by my very good friend and midlife movement expert, Gemma Junion-King, the movement maestra, to talk about how to find your playfulness and flow in midlife. So welcome, Gemma. It is fabulous to have you here. Oh, I'm delighted. I think all your

SPEAKER_02: 1:47

guests are delighted. Anyway.

SPEAKER_00: 1:51

I'm looking forward to this. I'm looking forward to this. It's going to be double trouble, I feel. As I said, it's a case of moving it or losing it in midlife. And that's one of the reasons I started salsa dancing at 55. And this ethos is one of the things, one of the many things we've got in common, Gemma. And You're an advocate of finding your flow and fitness in midlife, aren't you? I am. I think

SPEAKER_02: 2:18

like in anything, if we can see the movement as a component for how well we are, how happy then we are, if we follow strict guidelines, I need to do this, I must do this, I think that that is counterproductive because it... Well, for one, it just... puts a burden instead of enjoyment. So whatever is it that we need to do, if we understand why we're doing it and we enjoy it, then that keeps us going. And I think that that's a vital component of my approach into fitness. It's not a duty, it's not a chore, it's not something that will get pain to give some gain. That no pain, no gain, that is outdated. That is totally dated. I think someone said it came from Jane Fonda. I don't know. I like her regime. But that concept that to gain something, we need to be in pain, that's not true

SPEAKER_00: 3:25

anymore. No, absolutely. And I think to me... you just encompass everything about the enthusiasm that triggers the motivation that makes you want to do it because you love doing it. You're doing it for you. It's firing you up. So as you say, it's not just necessarily the focus on the outcome and the result even. It's the fact that it makes you feel blinking amazing. And it goes, oh, I

SPEAKER_01: 3:52

feel really good.

SPEAKER_02: 3:54

And enjoying while you were doing it. I think we've just spoken about the journey and the destination. So some people just, it's like taking a bad syrup because you're, you know, something that is terrible, that makes you cringe to get the result. That's counterproductive. But then if we can enjoy, you know, whatever it is that we're having, food or, anything, then the result, we are enjoying the journey and we're still feeling fabulous after. So we need to find that thing. It's almost like a magic potion.

SPEAKER_00: 4:25

Oh, I like that. A magic potion. No, because I'm all about the journey. I'm all about the journey because if we don't savour every moment, we're almost wasting it, you know, mindfulness and being present in what we're actually doing. But I'm really excited because you've kindly agreed that I didn't force you. I didn't have to twist your arm. But later on, you're going to be sharing your top tips for finding our flow in midlife and beyond with listeners. But firstly... What I also love about you, Gemma, and there are so many things, listeners, we have a very special bond and it'll probably make itself evident, but you refuse to be defined by labels. You epitomise everything that Midlife Unlimited is about because you're all about smashing stereotypes, shaking things up and getting clear on who we are, which is something at this time in our life. So many women I speak to, we've lost sight of who we are. And the person we thought we were doesn't necessarily resonate with who we are now. But you're embracing the real you. And my midlife mantra, let the judges judge. And you encapsulate that. But you shared a wonderful story recently that really echoed that this whole mindset, you've had it from a very early age. Yeah. And there was a context, I think you were working on a new programme that brought this story to the front of your mind, if you'd like to share that.

SPEAKER_02: 5:59

Yes. So it was the story about how I was wearing glasses since the age of two. I was born with a lazy eye. And back in Spain, back in Barcelona, that is over 57, I was... when I was operated from a lazy eye, that was not normal. So back in those times, over 55, 57 years ago. And before that, I started wearing glasses. So that made me, you know, I was like a mouse, just literally going to shops with those glasses. And because my mother was very adamant to not let the glasses and my lazy eye define me possibly she brought the extroverted or or the the challenging the rebel person in me possibly because she's a rebel too but I used to go to shops with a list and I could not even reach the counter with my glasses there and just uh talk like a a grown-up person so so it's just like I have I have always like really not not I would say belonging to the stereotypes of she's little, she wears glasses. Oh, let me help her. Oh, bless her. No, no, no, bless her. No, nothing. I'm very capable. And I was just there just saying, I'm coming here with that list. And if you don't give me what it says, I'll have to come back to return it. And I think I was six, six when I went to the market to do those things with my glasses. And anyway, so what I'm just getting at is that something external that, could potentially define us or limit us, that was a way for me to find a way around it. And to just, which now is the soul, is the energy, is the, who cares how we look? I mean, the better we look, the better we feel. The more mobile we are, the better we would feel. But it's just not allowing our external perception, I would say, to the world define us.

SPEAKER_00: 8:12

And I loved you mentioned the choice. You had two choices in the colour of the glasses that you were offered. Yes. And you made a very intentional choice. Can you explain that bit? Because although this is a childhood story, it resonates so much with the choices that we face now as women in our late 40s, 50s, 60s onwards.

SPEAKER_02: 8:34

Yes. So actually what it was clear, I was offered three possibilities. One was the normal transparent ones. And then Coloured ones, they were green or pink. And my mother was just totally open. She's normally quite directive in things. Oh, that will suit you, darling. Please do that. She didn't say anything. And I think I was... I must have been four at the time when I chose those glasses. Yeah, just after my operation. And I just thought, because I was going to a boys' school, a mixed boys and girls, I never were... the princess thing or the, because that's too, you know, that's too weak, that's too this, then to that, and to the other. And it's just, okay. It's not that I like green. The thing is, it's not that I like green, but I just thought pink is going to, didn't feel right. It would put me even more into a poor girl. Pigeonhole, yeah. Exactly. So I just chose green. And I went with green, I think, until my teens. And then, I started being called, oh yeah, do you remember the, not bad or, I didn't quite like that, you know, on the bus, you know, where there were elder students, pupils. Yeah, have you seen the girl of the green glasses? Oh, oh, why are you wearing green? Why are your glasses green? You know, people were just kind of questioning that and I didn't have an answer then, but I just didn't want to be spotlighted that way. And then I chose, plain glasses for a while but now if I had to choose older possibly because I'm embracing more the feminine side very proudly it doesn't matter I'm It's not weak. It's just more nurturing, more gentle. I would go for pink. Really, I would go for pink. But at that time, green felt very, very right. And I'm surprised that so many people, I just heard it in the post, ah, my colour is green. Well,

SPEAKER_00: 10:41

green is yours, for sure. Well, that was a natural evolution to become my brand colour because it's a colour that really makes me feel nurturing and growth and... But you mentioned then about, we talked about briefly pigeonholing and back to labels. And there's a phrase that I've heard you use in networking sessions, online, et cetera. And I think it's very powerful because it is a taboo subject maybe, but you use the phrase, child free by choice and I think that's quite an empowering phrase but I wondered if you'd share what made you feel the need to even include that comment

SPEAKER_02: 11:33

because it's part of it's part of I wouldn't say it doesn't define me so it's not part of my identity but it's

SPEAKER_00: 11:44

a

SPEAKER_02: 11:46

is a very important choice in my life that especially now that people talk about like you and many other people like the empty nests and all like that is part of having had a child possibly so I just thought being child free you know at 59 I can easily follow well I've got some friends good friends that are grandmothers and I I could potentially miss that a lot of women look forward to being grandmothers more than being mothers. Of course, if you haven't been a mother in the first place, you cannot be grandmother. But I am still at this point, I'm still very happy about the choice that I made when I was, I think I was 20, not to have children. And I'm not even sure if I'm fertile or not, but all I know is that I made everything possible possible not to have children. Because I think for one, possibly I was not ready during my fertile years. I would possibly feel ready close to my 50s, but then it's just like thinking about it. But then it's just... Is that even practical? Is my motherhood my calling? It's not. Actually, I can... I'm more patient and compassionate with my clients, for example, not as a mother, but I've got that space. I hold a space for my clients in a way that perhaps I would understand a mother would hold a space for a child to let them evolve rather than imposing too much or projecting all the things. Actually, my mother did project. She was very good in a kind of logistic way, But then, of course, we'll have lackings. And as a mother, I sense some kind of resentment sometimes. We had that conversation with her. And she keeps saying, oh, no, no, no. I have a brother as well. Both of you are so desired and so that. But there's something that doesn't quite align with her and having children that I think she would have preferred possibly not to have children. I don't know. But that's a guess. I haven't got that deep. in a conversation with her. But there was something that she could have had more time, more freedom, then more choices. And I didn't want to go into that resentment of freedom meant too much to me to just, and the capacity and the logistics as well, just to have children, they never came right. And even now, Matthew, my second husband, would have made an excellent father. And the moment that we met, I just said to him, are children important for you? Because otherwise, let's not waste the time. I'm not the person for you. That was that clear. And then he said, well, if it came, it would be nice, but it's not a must either. So at this point, he's not regretting it either. So I think for me, the fact that I'm saying that is just to... acknowledge and embrace the choice that we did. It's not necessarily defining us, but it's just a choice like many others. And I am totally embracing it.

SPEAKER_00: 15:18

No, I love that. And I love the fact that you're actually putting the conversation out there because there are a lot of women that feel they have to justify themselves. And as you say, it's not about justifying, just everyone does. has different choices and it's about embracing and owning those choices. And you've, you've had to make a lot of choices in your life and there have been your transformation story. I'd love to go more because obviously you've moved well from corporate to yoga, Pilates via gym from Spain to the UK. And I know there's a wonderful quote of yours that I've, I wrote down because I loved it so much. My attitude got me on the wrong side of places because you have that wonderful childlike curiosity and you question. So yeah, tell us about your transformation, your journey from Spain to UK, from corporate. To fitness.

SPEAKER_02: 16:26

Yeah, it's the child's, The childlike curiosity is something that I will never lose, but not intentionally. It's just I cannot not be. I cannot not be curious and explore like Life like a child. That's why actually movement is so important for me. Because I like to keep leaping, you know, be like a child in the supermarket, even if I'm 59. You know, I still do it. Jump on a cart. But how my journey started from those choices. I moved from Barcelona to Madrid following my first then-to-be husband. So I met through working at a multinational company. I was working for Procter& Gamble in Barcelona. best time of my life, I would say, between my early 20s to almost 30s. And I met a guy through a colleague from Madrid. So I decided to move through while I got another job in Madrid. And I got married to that guy. But five years down the line, maybe four, maybe three, actually, maybe three, between three and four. He cheated for another time. And I, he was denying it all the way. And I tried to kind of repair that. I was devastated. That was, I was just the early 30s. Oh, that we were still married. So he had told her that we were separated at least separated not divorced but separated we're kind of living in different places said well no because i just said to her are you realizing that we are a triangle now here we've got a you know i kept checking the statements of my husband and there were hotels that uh you know when he was in barcelona she had he had been with a girl and then she was confirming that oh yes of course but you are not living together yes we are actually so anyway that that was the start and I got another job through that company that I was working in Madrid. That was Enron Energy. Enron Energy that then went bankrupt. But I moved to London to the headquarters. It was all intentional. So I think choices are... What can we do? You know, from the moment that my mother said, the glasses are not going to define what you can or you cannot do. You're not going to be just in a corner, just reading books. I mean, that's what I got from what you were saying to me. And I love movement, even if my glasses were always steamed up, you know, because there were no contact lenses. I couldn't wear contact lenses, but I love movement so much. Sometimes I took my glasses out and I couldn't see a thing, but I could feel more. So anyway, from that into... I'm not going to let hang-ups or I'm just going to try and make the best of what we can, what I can. And then I transformed, I left my husband and I transformed it into...

SPEAKER_00: 19:35

How did that feel? Was that scary? Was it, were you angry? Was it... I

SPEAKER_02: 19:41

think it was, it was a little, actually, I'm glad you asked because I have not thought about that. I left Madrid with two suitcases. Actually, I left pretty much everything that, that paintings and things that my family gave and the husband never returned back. So I had to say goodbye to all those things. It took me kind of a while, but the moment that I had booked a ticket, it was a one-way ticket with two suitcases. I still remember landing at Gatwick, And carrying my suitcases, two suitcases, maybe three, I don't know, and doing two steps, you know, just leaving one step, one suitcase, going down, taking the other two. Yeah, I still remember that. Jump onto a cup. I had a place to stay. But it felt, you know, when people talk about being brave and being, it felt almost like like jumping out of a cliff. That's something that physically I would never do. But it felt like that. It felt like the unknown, but actually the unknown is better than what I know at the moment. So it felt kind of liberating, liberating, but I wouldn't say, yes, some kind, maybe I would just put that, exciting and fear at the same, not exactly fear, excitement and fear, Yeah, it was a mixed mix, mixed things. But anyway, I just, I like the word. Yeah. Yeah. And then, and then from there, I just kept having different corporate jobs until the company, I kept reducing the size. I work, I work for Dixon's one while in the UK as well. So all these companies, but there was something that it was like a, It didn't feel right for a long time. And then the last company that I was working for, a small company, at the same building, they had a psychodynamic therapy training for hearts, backs, or beds, hearts and heart. That was the headquarters of a training, a psychodynamic training. And I started training in psychodynamic therapy. therapy special and I specialized with child development and I never took that route but then from there I moved into fitness teaching children um and then from there I moved into adults and uh and what I'm doing now so it was always kind of a step by step I think I realized that I don't like a leap a leap just for the sake of the leap it's a planned leap or a leap that I know what the steps would entail, at least the next one, and then figure out the following one as it is. And then that's how I keep moving.

SPEAKER_00: 22:38

Intentionally, intentionally. I love that. And that leads us beautifully into your three top tips for moving longer. And if you could talk us through that, because I know your first one, and I think this is so important, Be in tune with your body. Now, what does that mean? I've heard you mention the mind-muscle connection. So what do you mean by that?

SPEAKER_02: 23:08

And mind-muscle connection is if we... I've seen that many, many times in the gyms. People are on the reclining bicycle, just reading a magazine or talking to a friend, just pedaling. And of course, the heart... keeps pumping up and the blood keeps circulating, but then there's no intention between the mind and the muscle. And then it's very, very difficult to shape that muscle that hasn't got an intention led by the brain. So ultimately it's that. Or when you dance salsa, for example, you are paying attention at the steps, then eventually you're because otherwise you cannot move, you cannot count. So I think exercises that do require an understanding of rhythm or, you know, the tempo or the position of things rather than just doing things like a hamster on a wheel, they challenge our brain. And the moment that we challenge the brain when we move, the chances are that we shape. We shape a lot faster and a lot safer as well. So that's the being in tune, which is tip number one.

SPEAKER_00: 24:22

And leading from that, we're all about patting ourselves on the back and celebrating our achievements. And your second top tip, be proud of what you can do. Ditch the can'ts and be proud of what you can.

SPEAKER_02: 24:38

That is the focusing on success. the positive what we have rather than what we don't have. But then ultimately is that when we have that capacity, I think the worst bit for me is when I see people that have got the capacity, but they don't use it. Then is when you lose it. And sometimes it's because they don't see the need. Because for that, or they think by identity, oh, I cannot walk. I cannot do what this other person does. Well, actually, that's the same as I'm wearing glasses, therefore I cannot ski, for example, because my eyesight is impaired or because I may fall. Well, unless you try, you don't know. So and then when you try and whatever it is that you can do, then celebrate that and be proud. I always say be proud of what your body can do. And then the more you're proud of what your body can do, you want to do more. because that creates the endorphins and the positive dopamine, you know, all these positive hormones. But it starts with wanting to do what you can rather than what you

SPEAKER_00: 25:51

can't. And I think perhaps holding yourself back As an example, just as you, not doing the whole comparisonitis and all so-and-so's doing this and so-and-so's doing that, because we've all got different abilities. We've all got different literal strengths. And so not beating yourself up if someone you know is running further than you, is climbing higher mountains than you. It's doing it on your terms, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02: 26:25

Exactly. I think this is fundamental as well. Well, because stress and comparing ourselves with other people, that really is cortisol. You know, then why are we doing something that is going to be detrimental overall to our health as well? So we can look at it from different points of view from the health perspective but also is from what use has it got comparing us I could have compared with my friends that they didn't have glasses but actually our reality is our reality and all we can do is make the best with it is doing a meal we need to do something that is or putting the clothes on I love your leopard but the leopard is It's not for me. And you may like my bright colors, but then bright colors are not for you. I mean, I'm just saying, not for you, for the other people. So I think it all goes back then to understanding, being in tune with ourselves. And then from there, whether it's movement, whether it's, yeah, for life in general, we've got a better way to be successful, I think.

SPEAKER_00: 27:42

I think now- this is a great time to explore new things and to try to get clarity on who we are now yeah absolutely and your third top tip especially is no no you

SPEAKER_02: 28:02

go yeah yeah yeah no I was going to say especially midlife is the best opportunity it's a great well maybe there are many many good ones along our life but Midlife happens whether we like it or not. And things change whether we like it or not. So then the more able that we are to explore or to take change as a, oh, what's out there with curiosity, instead of as frustrating as it is, you know, there are many, many things I cannot do now anymore. But what is it? Is that secondary? tip that I was, what can I do now? I'm not going to leap, possibly because I don't like it. It's not like I cannot do it. It's not going to be sustainable. So what else can I do? Same thing. I get hot flashes. What else can I do? Well, embrace the hot flashes. Actually, sweating will release toxins or have a cold shower. I mean, I don't know. You see what I mean? And from there, we can, I don't know, reinvent ourselves. I think it's the perfect chance because we're not crippled. You know, menopause is not equaling being crippled or being unfit or being fat, not necessarily, or being unable to do anything. It's actually a perfect time to just share our wisdom and our message. And for those that are grandmothers, be a great grandmother. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 29:34

Shine in our brilliance. I've just remembered some of your brilliant tips that are so simple but so powerful in terms of movement. And one, I heard you say it and I tried it, putting your socks on standing up. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 29:50

Yes. That is a perfect test. That actually is a functional test. That's part of my assessments when I do assessments online. Can you do that? And if you cannot do that, okay, let's break it down. What is happening there? Is your stability on the leg that you're standing? Is it because you cannot bend the knee that much? Is it the hip? Is it your core that is not functioning? What is it? And then Build it up from there. And actually that gives a purpose for people. You know what? I just had one of my, I normally have female clients for personal training, but one time at the gym, at a health club, I had a man that he chose to work with me. And one of the things that, well, I had a few other men, but that particular one, when I asked the girl, the first thing that he said is to put my socks on standing up. And he was just about to get retired. And I just thought, he said, I want to go scuba diving. I want to do many, many other things, which he's doing now. And I just thought, oh my God, why on earth would someone have a goal like that? I just thought he was fantastic. And from then on, I just kept, my father can still do it, actually, believe it or not. My father, I think he's going to be, well, he's going to be 85 in February. He still puts his socks, his socks standing. And I keep saying that, please keep doing that. He doesn't even realise that he's a pioneer.

SPEAKER_01: 31:22

Am

SPEAKER_00: 31:25

I having a moment, Gemma? And it's perfectly possible that I am. Or wasn't there something you can actually, a we can actually do while we're having a we?

SPEAKER_02: 31:33

Oh, of course. Yes, a squat. Yeah, we can hover when we have. That's, again, one of my best tips. You know, not with hips forward, of course, because when we go to the toilet, just think about that. If you sit like you hover over the toilet with the knees bending forward or with the hips kind of forward, you miss the loop. You miss the loose. So you need to take the hips back. You need to kind of, yes, stick your bottom out. And then from there, you bend. I think a lot of... And that is a perfect squat. Actually, that is a perfect squat. If, when you come back up, you squeeze the pelvic floor up and you breathe out at the same time, you're doing a Pilates move on the go, on repeat, every single day. And that, I can... I think

SPEAKER_00: 32:26

I'm going to have to start doing that. I'm going to have to start doing that. I can

SPEAKER_02: 32:29

vouch for that. I think that's the word.

SPEAKER_00: 32:31

Pelvic floor exercises are always good after 23 hours labour 23 years ago.

SPEAKER_02: 32:38

Well, there's always... Think about the compound effect. How often do we go to the toilet to have a pee? Oh, a lot. Yeah? I mean, if you need to do something else, maybe... Maybe not. But you know, for the pee, yeah, for the pee.

SPEAKER_00: 32:52

Oh, yeah. I was only talking pee. It's doable. Yeah. For the pee. I'm going to try it. I'm going to go and try it. When we finished here, I'm heading to that loo. But this doesn't really apply to that. Well, no. Your third point, though, which I like. Yes. My third

SPEAKER_02: 33:10

point is exactly choose a physical activity that you love because then you will repeat. And actually... That example that you've just given, for me, is one of them. I love it. And I keep doing, I've been doing that for years, aside from other things. But that gives me a foundation. So be in tune with your body. And then what's the other one? Be proud. Yes, exactly. Be in tune with your body. Be proud of what you can do rather than what you cannot do. And then love yourself. the exercise or the physical activity that you do. Some people love gardening as well, but do they understand how they garden? Because actually that's another thing. So you see, that's why I put those three tips. Some people have a physical activity that they like, but because they are not in tune with their bodies, They have to go to the physiotherapist or they have to, oh, I need to come to Pilates or miss Pilates in the first place because they have to go to the physio until they get better. And by missing the classes so much because they are not in tune. you know so it's just it's just all three well I think the middle one I think is important because if you're proud you will keep repeating and you focus on what you can do rather on you cannot do but being in tune with your body and have something that you love um maybe I should I should have put number two well yeah I should have changed the order but anyway people get the the gist

SPEAKER_00: 34:42

Absolutely. And we're going to say in a minute, when you've done your three questions that are looming, Gemma, we'll be giving details of how our wonderful listeners can get in touch with you and find out more. But I think, yeah, my main takeaway from our chat, and I've loved this, I love everything about you, Gemma, is stay away from the old no pain, no gain and do it for love. Not, as you say, don't do it necessarily for the endorphins or the results, do it for the journey. Because Perfect. The destination can change, but we're all about enjoying the journey. And I've got a little journey for you now, because towards the end of each episode, I know you've heard because you tune into other episodes, Gemma, and thank you for that. I asked my fabulous female guests the same three questions. So I'm going to start with question one. Gemma, what is your midlife anthem? The piece of music that when you hear it, you think, yes, I've got this.

SPEAKER_02: 35:48

I got through many different ones, but in the end, the one that is my anthem is always look on the bright side of life. Do do,

SPEAKER_01: 36:02

do do, do do, do do, do do, do do.

SPEAKER_02: 36:04

Yes. That one. Oh,

SPEAKER_01: 36:07

really?

SPEAKER_02: 36:08

That one. Or Hum, actually, you know, especially because of that. I fell in love, actually, with that. I get goosebumps. I fell in love with that song when I was studying English back in Barcelona. I think I must have been 12. And I don't know how old that is, the movie itself. But I had never heard of Monty Python in my life. But... the teacher had chose that song. We were working, I think, on expressions and phrasal verbs. Is it look on the bright side? Is it looking at the bright side? I don't know. You know, prepositions with the verbs. And that was the song. And I think, yeah, that's perfect for midlife. Because otherwise, we get stuck.

SPEAKER_00: 36:55

We get stuck and we get that horrible hamster wheel of regret and if onlys and what ifs. Yes, yes. No, let's live for this moment and do it with passion. And now I'm intrigued to know what your midlife mantra is, Gemma. And

SPEAKER_02: 37:14

actually is the same. Always look on the bright side of life. That's it. Because actually, that's what I have been doing. Okay, my husband cheats. What can I do with that? It's dark outside. What can I do? Is there anything else I can do instead of focusing on it's dark, it's cold, it's visible? Actually, the sun is shining today as we speak. But if it doesn't, what can I do? Actually, I have a sunshine tattooed on my cheek. And I had that tattoo.

SPEAKER_00: 37:48

Listen, she means her bottom cheek, not her facial cheek. Yeah,

SPEAKER_02: 37:53

I think it's the right

SPEAKER_00: 37:54

one, actually. She's showing us. Yes, I can see. Or is it the other one? Anyway. No, I think I caught sight of it when we shared a room at Emphasis. Oh, I love that one.

SPEAKER_02: 38:08

Yes. So anyway, so sunshine, I always say, if you... If you cannot find the sunshine, be the sunshine yourself. But it's always looking towards the bright side. Oh, love that. And that is what keeps me going. Because we all have moments, we all have times in our lives. Yeah, I do. Like any other person. But I think it's how we react to it. No one is going to change the weather. No one is going to change dark moments. But we always have a choice. how we react to that. I mean, anyone that is into personal development knows that. It's

SPEAKER_00: 38:51

accepting what we can't control and focusing our time and attention on what we can control. What we

SPEAKER_02: 38:57

can control, what we can move, be proud and then celebrate, celebrate what we can do rather than regret or be, I don't know, resentful for what we cannot do.

SPEAKER_00: 39:08

Because all that does is hurts us, doesn't it? I'm expecting an equally positive, what is the title of your autobiography? I'm intrigued. I don't know the answers, listeners. I don't know the answers.

SPEAKER_02: 39:23

You know, the first one, until yesterday, the first one was, Curiosity Does Not Kill a Cat Because I'm Still Alive. Ah. So that... So that would be my one. But now, since I share the story with the girl of the green glasses, I think a lot of people, and I have been told that before, I should pay, it's not the should, it's like it encourages me to pay attention. Would I ever write a book about the girl with the green glasses? And I may. I

SPEAKER_00: 39:57

may.

SPEAKER_02: 39:58

We'll see. But that would be my title. I

SPEAKER_00: 40:00

like that. Do you know, I actually, when I saw the post, I thought, hmm. That would make a good book. I like that. Oh, you've been an absolute, you're always a joy, Gemma. You are a piece of positive fabulousness that everyone needs in their life. So for those lovely ladies listening who would like some Gemma in their life, how can they contact you? The easiest

SPEAKER_02: 40:26

way is LinkedIn.com. or Facebook. My messengers are always open and what I would love to share is that I am collaborating with other mindset experts and nutritionist and self-care, human design, a program six months that will keep repeating. So the first one starts in February, but then there's another one starting in June. There's another one starting in September with different times and different cohorts. But for anyone that is looking to change, not just the way they look, but the way they feel, if I think we change the way we feel, we'll change the way we look. It's not the other way around. Sometimes, okay, sometimes we can have, maybe with clothes, you know, you put something that makes you feel good. You look good and then you feel good.

SPEAKER_01: 41:23

But

SPEAKER_02: 41:24

there are different ways of approaching that.

SPEAKER_01: 41:27

Definitely.

SPEAKER_02: 41:28

I am always, instead of the outside in, the inside out. I'm all about inside out, yeah. Or both.

SPEAKER_00: 41:36

Or both.

SPEAKER_02: 41:37

Yeah. So it's been lovely. Well,

SPEAKER_00: 41:41

we will put details in the show notes of all your connections, etc. And that sounds really exciting. I look forward to hearing more about that. Thank you for listening today. I'd love your feedback on today's episode. So if you get a chance to leave a review, that would be wonderful. Or you could email me or text me via the links in the show notes and come and join the Midlife Unlimited podcast, even put my teeth in, Facebook group. Again, links in the show notes where you'll also find the website link and on the website are details of my exclusive VIP Midlife Metamorphosis coaching offers so thank you again for joining me today Gemma I've been so looking forward to recording our episode it's been absolutely epic epic I love that thank you for listening I look forward to you tuning in next week because Midlife Unlimited has a new episode every Thursday available wherever you listen to your podcasts so here's to being fabulous and flourishing together and to living midlife Bye. Bye.