Episode #038 How to Value Your Feminine Worth with Guest Gemma Norris

What does the word feminine mean to you? Does it conjure up images of pink blossom and floaty summer dresses? Or does being feminine run deeper for you… embodying your connection with Mother Earth?

Can we be fierce and feminine?

Have we lost touch with our inner feminine?

Midlife Unlimited® is all about smashing stereotypes and shaking things up. So if this resonates with you as a Gen X woman, join your host Kate Porter The Midlife Metamorphosis Coach® and her guest Founder Of Remedial Therapy Clinic and Infinity Health Hub Gemma Norris for Episode 038 as they talk about How to Value Your Feminine Worth as a Midlife Woman.

Forget Girl Power! Gemma is all about reclaiming our Pussy Power. In this episode, Kate and Gemma discuss how the very phrase is controversial, and how we can take back control of this and the other hijacked and misused names for our genitalia and celebrate the wonder of the feminine.

Gemma shares with Kate her metamorphosis journey from childhood trauma as she followed the voice of the feminine saying that she deserved better and was worthy of more. 

And Gemma reveals how she reconnects with Mother Earth and harnesses healing energy during personal retreats to Sardinia.

Tune to too to hear how the rise of the feminine is now coming and what this means to Midlife women through the divine right of menopause and beyond.

Connect with Gemma

www.theinfinityhealthhub.com

www.facebook.com/theinfinityhealthhub

https://www.instagram.com/theinfinityhealthhub/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdZsolRSgQBMKzFX4RMTBmA

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:01

Welcome to Midlife Unlimited, the podcast for women who want more. I'm your host, Kate Porter, the midlife metamorphosis coach, and I know what it's like to feel stuck navigating the midlife maze. I've looked in the mirror and thought, who is that woman? So Midlife Unlimited is here to let you know you are not alone. You don't have to put on a brave face and put up with it. You don't have to play it safe. Midlife Unlimited is all about ripping off that mask and telling it like it really is nothing is off limits because together there's no limit to what we can achieve so welcome to today's episode now what does the word feminine mean to you does it conjure up images of pink blossom and floral summer dresses or does being feminine run deeper for you embodying your connection with mother earth Can we be feminine and fierce? Have we lost touch with our inner feminine? Midlife Unlimited is all about smashing stereotypes and shaking things up. So I'm delighted to be joined by my guest today to do just that. I'm joined by Gemma Norris. founder of Remedial Health Clinic and Infinity Health Hub to talk about how to value our feminine worth as a midlife woman. So welcome Gemma. Thank you Kate, it's a pleasure to be here to shake things up as you say. Absolutely and we're going to go straight in and do just that right from the very start because forget girl power, you're all about reclaiming our pussy power aren't you?

SPEAKER_01: 1:46

Correct.

SPEAKER_00: 1:47

Yes,

SPEAKER_01: 1:48

yes. This is an interesting one, pussy power. It was initially going to be ignite your inner power. And when I got to Sardinia, it's like, nah, it's pussy power. And it's like, how this is about for women is to really start to connect to their bodies, because we feel, well, a lot of us are so disconnected. in so many levels and ways through trauma, through experiences, through body dysmorphia, through expecting what you think you need to be looking like, because there's always been this projection of what we think we should be looking like. So we're always doubting ourselves, doubting what we look like. And

SPEAKER_00: 2:29

especially now in midlife when everything's changing and I say the whole menopause shifting and hormones all over the place.

SPEAKER_01: 2:37

Exactly. And, you know, society has just told us that what we look like is that's what our worth is based upon, or be able to create children. But once you get past that stage, it's like, sorry, love, you've done your thing. You're not really that important. And a lot of us women embody that. We feel like we've lost ourselves, don't know who we are, and in comes perimenopause and menopause, and that just seems to escalate all of those feelings that we're having. And it's actually... For me, I see that this is the time, the perimenopause, the menopause is a transition for women to step into that power, the wise one. We talk about the maiden, the mother, the crone, they call it, which has these horrible connotations to it, like witches, which is, again, all the BS systems and the conditioning

SPEAKER_00: 3:27

that has to stay. And the, you know, past and all haggard and wrinkled and dried up. Yeah, dried up, the whole idea of being back to pussy, you know, the idea of the actual biology of being... dry and not barren but you know served its purpose have we served our purpose once the mother years whether we're actually a mother or not but once we're past the mother years no it's time to start nurturing us yes now later on and i'm quite excited about this you're going to be sharing your life lessons for how we can embrace and value and shake up our feminine worth but before I'd like to talk a little bit more about pussy pet I do love saying this um because oh yeah and the negative I mean it brings up ideas of pornography it brings up detrimental I mean if we can't talk about our own parts using this word in a beautiful embracing way then there's something blinking wrong somewhere isn't there Exactly. And this is about reclaiming it. It's about reclaiming our pussy power. This is about... And we're not trying to offend listeners by using the word, but it's a word that I think it's quite the masculine... I mean, we're going to talk later on about masculine and toxic. And we're not anti-men. We're not being like that. But in terms of masculine attributes to our sex organs and using words in a detrimental way... as you say it's about taking back our power and saying no this is a word that we're going to use a because it rolls off the tongue beautifully because it's

SPEAKER_01: 5:08

good alliteration if nothing else exactly and i think this is the thing it has two things it can conjure up in people it's either the whole pornography and because that's how it's been used and that's how it's you know gone down that direction or it's used in terms of a weakness you know and i can't tell you there's nothing yeah Nothing's stronger than a pussy pushing out a baby. Let's face it. You know, you flick a pair of testes, they're gone. You know, it's like get gross and balls, but your pussy, these are these connotations.

SPEAKER_00: 5:38

It always reminds me as well. I don't know if you remember the, uh, the comedy Are You Being Served and Mrs. Slocum and her pussy, and that was always the standing, like, slightly tongue-in-cheek, slightly risque joke of this. Well, yeah, she, again, she was probably about my age, but she was, like, purple-haired and spinster, lived on her own with her pussy. I don't know why that suddenly come to mind. But then, yeah, derogatory, a laughing stock, not an empowering phrase at all. No, and I

SPEAKER_01: 6:07

think this is... there's so much stigma. There's so much shame that holds is held within our, within our womb, within our yoni, within our whole menstrual area. And this is why menstrual health is, is, you know, is what I feel is really links to as well as because we're not connecting to these emotional layers. There's so much that detaches us and disconnects us from this. I mean, if you think about it, it's between our legs, it's well hidden. Whereas with men, it's all just hanging out there. Exactly. Like, and, while you see it with my young kids they're just like yeah it is playing with it, picking it scratching it have a bit of this a lot of my children aren't saying that obviously that would be really wrong but in terms of they're just more relaxed with their organs whereas with women it's something that's I don't know if you talk to a group of women and I did this it's part of a beautiful Shakti gathering that we did and it's like work at what names have you got for your privates and you know when you go through what your family and your parents or whoever would have come up with a name there's some real derogative names that it's just something that needs to be kept closed and quiet and you don't talk about it there's so much that sits behind that fuels that disconnection from what is actually really our power

SPEAKER_00: 7:36

Oh, absolutely. I mean, and you mentioned, you know, menstruation earlier in periods. And I remember as a younger, I mean, I was quite young starting. I think I was about 10 or 11. And the whole shame of hiding sanitary pads and, you know, I remember even at work wanting to, you know, needing to go to the loo to change my tampon. But rather than just walking through the office holding a tampon like hiding it up my sleeve and things like that why we should be like sorry just going to the loo to change my tampon if that's all right

SPEAKER_01: 8:07

yeah in fact what it needs to be is like when you recognize on the system that when you're on your bleed you have three to five days off that's how we really should be exactly but this is how women are in squeezed into a patriarchal system that doesn't work for them and this is why we we have all the these different health issues coming out actually at that point in our bleed we need to be able to be resting it's in our winter phase we have to just be quiet be still allow that to happen allow any emotions that need to come out because this is one part of it is actually through our bleed is our emotions and all our generational stuff shifting and moving out of our system out of our bodies that we're not doing that consciously but just it's an inconvenience and we just need to try and battle our way through it

SPEAKER_00: 8:54

No, absolutely. We won't even get onto the cost of the whole blinking thing. Now, I say, I've mentioned that you're going to be sharing your lessons learned and insights later on. I'm really looking forward to that. But first, it'd be great to delve more into your story because obviously hands-on therapy work. I mean, you've mentioned Sardinia and I want to know you. I know you're just back and I'm really excited for you to be sharing all about why you were there. But I think when we chatted before, because I do like to have chats before, we've yet to meet face to face and it's nice just to start getting to know each other more rather than just coming in cold. But you believe very passionately that the need to heal yourself needs to underpin any healing work. Am I right in saying that? Completely,

SPEAKER_01: 9:37

completely. I mean, my journey to answer that really has been... self-sabotage, body dysmorphia, self-sabotage not necessarily in the physical but just more in the emotional way, and bulimia when I was younger. So I've never really liked myself, my body, what I was, and it's really been a journey for me of self-sabotage to self-love. And I'm still doing that. I'm still on that journey.

SPEAKER_00: 10:09

Oh, I know. I mean, I was like you. I was bulimic in my early 20s, and I used it as a control thing almost. It was the only thing that I could physically control. I mean, I've done so much work since then, and thank goodness those days are behind me, and now I have quite a positive... relationship with eating and with food. But I think when people think about eating disorders, again, there's so much misinformation and so much misunderstanding there that it just underpins so much, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_01: 10:40

It does. And for me, like you say, it's about trying to take control of your life in some form. That's what a lot of food disorders are. It's because you feel out of control. So you're trying to claim back control because, you know, unless someone's literally trying to force feed something down you. But ultimately, it controls you. That's the irony of it all, really. But for me, that was a reflection of things literally emotionally being rammed down one's throat. I didn't have my throat. I didn't have my voice. I didn't have, I wasn't safe in my voice. This is, you know, it's a lot to do with trauma as a child. Um, so that just got very suppressed and I'm still now at 46, nearly 47, trying to feel safe in my voice. And this is really, really important. And this is what the feminine, the pussy power is all about connecting your, um, Your yoni, your womb, and your throat is about connecting your sacral chakra to your throat, being able to communicate your desires, your wishes, your wants, and ultimately as well, if that's blocked, orgasm isn't. going to be very strong either. Myofascial is what I do with hands-on work. It's connected. Your throat is very much similar to your yoni. Can I just

SPEAKER_00: 12:02

interrupt? Sorry, it's a word I've not heard. I'm sure many of the listeners know, but yoni is... The old Yoni, so it's, well, it's your badge, as you call

SPEAKER_01: 12:10

it.

SPEAKER_00: 12:11

Ah, right, okay. I thought, oh, it sounds very onomatopoeic. It sounds as though that should be what it is. But I don't like assuming, because we all know what assuming is. So I thought I'd just ask for anyone else listening, like,

SPEAKER_01: 12:22

what's that? Yeah, so basically now I would say, what is your word that you have? for that central part of yourself so i mean you know give it what give it a name give it something loving so yeah it's yoni is like the sanskrit version of it because vagina actually itself if you look at it in terms of latin it means sheath for the sword so what that's saying is basically your fanny's just there for the the penis taking

SPEAKER_00: 12:49

off yes

SPEAKER_01: 12:50

yeah so it's got more than that It's more worthy than that. So, yeah, it's it's actually and the see you next Tuesday word, which I won't say that because it has such correlation on it here. But it's actually means queen.

SPEAKER_00: 13:06

So, you know, see that I like because I don't know about you, but I don't know if it's I mean, the word fine. If you want to use it, use it. Absolutely. But I'm noticing it so much more watching TV now. And I don't know whether it's like American shows. I do watch all sorts everywhere. But it's like, is it going to have the same widespread usage as the F word soon? It

SPEAKER_01: 13:31

doesn't sit well with me. I always think it's still used in a shock way. Yes, and a very negative, nasty way as well. And again, this is the interesting thing, is that so many parts of what the feminine genitalia uses in a negative form. But like I say, Kunta would have meant queen. So this is really about acknowledging the power that we have sitting within us and between the legs. So yes, and I think it comes, first of all, from reclaiming the names of and getting rid of all the shame that's attached to it.

SPEAKER_00: 14:10

That's so true because I say I deal a lot with our inner critic and then the first step of that is giving her a name because it's not you. But the lady garden, whatever you want to call it, it is you. So having a name that embraces and shows affection and love and just how bloody amazing it is.

SPEAKER_01: 14:30

Totally, totally. And just start to connect yourself in a much greater love. And this has been my journey through from my own experience, but also with my clients, is that when you get people to start to connect into their bodies through the heart, it's always through the opening up into the heart to unconditional love, which is already in there. This isn't something we have to go and get outside of ourselves. It's already within us. We simply need to start releasing these layers that we have put upon this and the love gets banded around far too much and it's got too much condition attached to it actually unconditional love means there's nothing it's just pure and you connect into it which is light and there's light in our bodies that's right down to a cellular they recognize there's light and this for me is unconditional love this is our soul this is our consciousness this is everything that we are that is our power and whether we want to call it divinity, whether we want to call it God consciousness, wherever we want to go. And it's through this portal that is our heart that we start to remember and start to love ourselves and to recognize anything that isn't that isn't our truth. Everything that is shame, guilt, fear is all the illusion, but it feels so real. because we're wired up to all those

SPEAKER_00: 15:54

emotions. And we carry it so much, don't we? We carry the shame, the guilt, the regrets. I mean, I just don't do them at all. But so Sardinia, I can't wait to find out. No, because when I spoke to you before, you had yet to go and you're just back. Now, I was intrigued. Why Sardinia? You mentioned Atlantis. I mean, what is going on with this place? And why aren't we all going there this summer? Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah,

SPEAKER_01: 16:22

this place is truly, truly incredible. It just so happens the universe managed to get me there. And I've been there three times now. And it's just been like an awakening for me. It's just the connection to the place. I mean, the sand itself has gold, like gold. in it it's just been worn down and it's you can't take anything away but it's just it's just so beautiful and gold itself is the same frequency as love it's the 520 hertz so this is what gets really interesting this beach this bay holds a very loving space and what's the name of the bay uh terratina bay so i'll have to send i'll send yeah it's it's so big if even the There's mountains that come down to one side of the bay and it looks like a dragon that's literally just holding the bay. And yes, I mean, the experience that I've had was pretty incredible. And people may think, oh, gosh, maybe she's losing the plot a little bit. But hey, why not? Here's to losing the plot. Here's the plot, I'll tick on that one. But I was literally, the sea was calm, everything was really beautiful. And then I started to go for a run. And when you're running, it really stimulates your liver, okay? So your liver is where we hold that angst, that irritability, those hot flashes, all of that links into the liver, okay? And the rage that consists there, which we suppress because we're not allowed to be angry, us women. And so I went for a run and I could feel this coming up. And so I literally shouted out. Fortunately, it wasn't that many people on the beach at the time. I thought, right, I'm just going to go and do my scream in the sea kind of job, just like Hulk impression. So I just released it and felt much better. Within minutes, the whole sea got very choppy. The wind really started to blow. And I'm just myself and my brother-in-law, who I was with, we both went, what's just happened? What's just happening is literally as soon as I did that. And then I went to go and sit down and I just sat in my heart. I sat in peace and I was just facilitating like to move whatever it is that needed to shift out of my body, out of my blood, everything. And I don't know how long I was doing it for, but when I opened my eyes, the sea was calm. There was no wind. Everybody seemed very quiet and peaceful around me. And the seaweed had moved. Everything got very clean and pure. I don't think this is a coincidence. This place is very reflective, energetically, of who you are. And the more connected you get into your body, the more connected you are into your earth, into your womb, everything into this space, you interact with the earth more than we realize. This is something that was just revelational to me last year. just last week and how this is our power. See, power gets talked about as like something you control over somebody. You take over someone's power, you take over their sovereignty. And whereas this power is about how we interact, how we influence through our energy fields. And it was really showing me that you can influence and shift things through the power of your power. your heart through your intentions so this is really about acknowledging that we can go either fear and just fall into that and influence and create through fear or do we create through this higher frequency that is love this um and yes that was that was hugely revelation was very different to my last one which is where power came from it's just like boom, fire, like ignite. But that was like the rage of the feminine. It was the fire of her. She was like, we have to feel all of this as a woman to go through the process of it. And so last time it was really about the fire to ignite the rage, to allow the anger, the self-worth to come up because we don't normally hear that. Cause so when we have anger in our bodies, there's a part of us saying I deserve better. I'm equal. I'm worthy of more. And that's probably never some for some people will never be in a voice they've ever heard them hear themselves say about themselves

SPEAKER_00: 20:51

ever.

SPEAKER_01: 20:52

So it's really powerful when

SPEAKER_00: 20:54

you quieten it down, don't we were like so busy putting everyone else first.

SPEAKER_01: 20:59

Yeah. yeah and it is and and i think when you hit perimenopause and menopause there's the part of your body and it's actually the estrogen drops and this veil starts to shift and actually they are saying now that you you do go more inward whereas before up until that point we're all about what we give how we can be what can we present and do everything for everybody that kind of a martyr energy um and which comes from a victim energy uh however we hit that point and it goes no hang on a My energy resources are really important for me. What's right for me. And this is when we start to unravel all these belief systems, all these patterns that do not serve us. They're not good for our body. It's got us in a fight flight. We're sacrificing our inner peace to keep the peace. So we're having to really look at all these conditions and patterns that not only from our experience, but also are inherited. So because we also inherit generational trauma. And for me, I see that in the body and it goes back to whenever it began. It can go right far back.

SPEAKER_00: 22:10

I love that. That's so interesting because I love it. I see it very much in why I've adopted the phrase second spring for my life coach, because it is interesting. that time to swift swift switch our focus to nurturing ourselves to new growth to and i i mean growth in terms of physical growth mental growth pushing ourselves, trying new things. And in terms of, I'm guessing it was, how big was the group of, was it just women you took with you this year or is it a mixed group? It was

SPEAKER_01: 22:44

just myself went over and met my brother-in-law over there and another gentleman who has the villa over there. And yeah, so it was... It's really, it's quite interesting because that's what I've shown last year is actually when you have, because I had two men looking after me, going out, if they know, and just like, what would you like for dinner? Oh, okay, we'll go and get it. We'll go to the shopping. And I just sat, you know, and just relaxed. So is it a reset

SPEAKER_00: 23:12

for you? Yes. Is that a good word? Totally. Because obviously inspiration, I know obviously books, you've got another book in the pipeline. So how, because I'm always talking about taking that step back, doing the stop, take, take. taking that time. What does it mean to you from that? I mean, how do you feel during and afterwards?

SPEAKER_01: 23:33

I think leading up to it, you feel guilty as, because you're leaving all your children behind. And then, you know, that anxiety of leaving home is a little bit in there. And then once you're there, it's actually, you know, this is really important. I have to value myself and spend this time for me. And where I'm not looking at the clock, that I'm not thinking about anybody else's wants or needs. It is like literally, you know, It's about coming into yourself and just, like you say, resetting, just start to get out of the buzz and out of the whole system of earning money. And it's just it's actually quite exhausting. And so it's really about a way of just coming back to yourself. being back with ground, with the sea, with the sand, everything. So it's really, really important. And for me, it's just done revelation after revelation. But every time I've gone there, this seems to like release another layer, open something out more. And I suppose before it's really fire. Last time, this is all about more grace, how you compose yourself, how you embody all that fire. But you don't stay in that fire because actually, if you do that, you're just going to burn yourself out. If you're raging, if you're raging against the machine, as it were, the system, and you're just heavy, just anger. This is what creates the heat and the inflammation in our body. So if you've got joint aches, which starts to appear through menopause and, you know, this is where a lot of our issues come from. So, but because it's not tapped into, it's just like a small drill fire. So we have to ignite it, let it come through, let it burn the debris. But then we need to come back to a space of embodied composure and grace. It doesn't mean you haven't lost your fire. It's there should you need it. But this is helping you establish those healthy boundaries and

SPEAKER_00: 25:30

your worth. Absolutely. No, absolutely. We're going to talk in a little while about your lessons, about reclaiming our feminine worth. But you use the phrase as well about the blueprint and about aligning to that. And that fits in so well. Obviously, I use the word metamorphosis. Because to me, the work that I do with women to rediscover who they are and come back to life in our midlife, it's amazing. not transformation it is metamorphosis because it's already it's like the butterfly from the caterpillar it's already inside us and as you say the blueprint can you just talk me through that a bit before we go into your lessons learned because i think it'll flow quite nicely into it so when you say blueprint i mean i guess you're not talking about predestiny in terms of

SPEAKER_01: 26:20

No, for me, blueprint is like a, it certainly has a DNA perspective to it. This is the absolute potential that we can be. So it's, we have our, what I see, the earth star, our sacral, which is where obviously our genitalia are. But this is this part of us that is pure, right? that has the true potential of who we're really here to be. And we're only like skimming on such a small part of it at the moment. And this, for me, the blueprint is about returning right back to Mother Earth. So generational trauma, I see it like distortions. So where we have the DNA, when we talk about the 12 DNA being junk DNA, they're not 12, they're just inactive at the moment because we're not in a higher frequency. We're still very 3D, very sphere-based shame. This is what we're having to, as we say, metamorphose out of. This is what we need to shift all these dense layers that isn't our truth, that is the distortion to our truth, to actually start to be the fuller expression. that we truly are. And I see it like this DNA, this distortion is when our generations have had different trauma, it just takes us away from the blueprint of what the true feminine is. And we are now for sure this generation is the pattern breakers. We are the generation of trauma pattern breakers, which sounds really late, great. It's like, it's great. With all greatness comes responsibility. Exactly. But the real key actually, which has been shown me, because I've heard, talked to a lot of people about this and they think it's like, I've got to take all of my answers shite and sort it out. It's like, no, actually you don't. You literally just need to be conscious that you're not continuing their pattern anymore. As soon as you do that, you break the pattern, you break it. And then you can send the light back towards your ancestors to free them. This is the work that I do, that it's really about You're not taking responsibility for everybody's shite. This is the thing. This is the female. She thinks she has to take it all. And she doesn't. You don't. You don't do it if you generate your ancestors either. You just simply need to recognize that this isn't my truth and I'm not going to continue this patterning. And that's when the process begins.

SPEAKER_00: 28:59

So powerful. So powerful. I love this. I love this. So I think that is a good, I thought it might be, but a good link into your top lessons, inspirations, insights. And your first one, and I love this phrase, menopause is a divine right. So what do you mean by that in terms of not something that we have to suffer through, but something to celebrate? Is that the right word or...?

SPEAKER_01: 29:30

Definitely. Embody and empower it. And my first book is like this love to heal, how to listen, observe and visualize and empower your body. It's all about listening and observing yourself. So your body is not trying to hurt you, to be a pain in the ass for you. It's not. And it's just this is trying to remind you that. When you're out of alignment, when you're not being true to yourself, when you're not living in purpose, when you're not living in joy, when you're living for other people and not for yourself, this is the opportunity for women to go, right, I've done a lot. now it's really about me and it doesn't mean you're going to be all about you because once you really understand who you are what you are embody that and fully have that energy you become this affiliation you could become this beacon of inspiration that just radiates power it's not about giving anything away you're just in it you're like a light bulb just radiating energy out and that's when you shift into your power of how you can change and alchemize. This is the power of alchemy. Women have this power. Our wounds and our heart together have the power of alchemy to take what is dark and what was lead back to gold, what was fear back to love.

SPEAKER_00: 30:52

And this is such a pivotal time as well, isn't it? Because so much is changing and it is a fantastic time to actually reassess our values because they will have shifted. And we're not the person we were at 20, at 30, at 40 even. But we don't want to go back. We're not wanting to go back. We're wanting to actually understand who we are now and what we want and what serves us and what doesn't serve us. And as you just beautifully said, it's about that power.

SPEAKER_01: 31:19

Yes. And the reason why the Earth and the planet is the way it is at the moment is because the feminine has been shut down. But she's rising. And, you know, because the feminine energy is not only is she the fire, she's also the wound healer. She has this huge grace that's under. It's like when we cut our skin, we don't see or feel it happening. But there's a wound layer that's coming up and up and up and healing our skin. That's the feminine energy as well. So not only can she be the fire light, that will burn shit down and take the ego down. This is what men don't like, actually. They feel they will lose themselves in the feminine. I've seen how the fear is there. But actually, they need to lose themselves to the feminine to find themselves. They have to let go of their ego, their altered self. And this is what the feminine fire can do. But then it's also about she can be the wound healer. So this is where we have to do it for ourselves first. And as collectively we start to heal the next layer on it from a corner of our own world. And this is why the world is what it is, because it's denied the feminine. And the feminine has tried to be the masculine for too long

SPEAKER_00: 32:33

to be safe. Because you were talking to say, which leads beautifully into your second point, which reiterates that the whole idea of healthy boundaries and shifting from the masculine to the feminine and everything that that entails.

SPEAKER_01: 32:47

Yeah. I mean, we have had to sit in our masculine energy to, to survive. This is, this is a very learned pattern of us. If it's not from our experiences, it's the way our socially and conditionally have been done. And, and so we, But this becomes the point when it hits perimenopause and that it's exhausting. Body cannot cope with that stress. It's not meant to. We're supposed to be shifting more back into this feminine grace where we have those boundaries. We have that stillness that creates a manifest. This is our power. This is the feminine power. It's just we've, because we've shifted far too much in that hamster wheel, we're just losing it and that's why the body feels like it's starting to fall apart because it's not meant to be doing any of that it's it's it's actually relearning that actually through stillness and through being in the feminine will create more

SPEAKER_00: 33:43

yeah well i think as well like you were saying and beautifully your third point trusting the feminine putting your trust in it just going with it and what what feels right what aligns when it all comes back together again

SPEAKER_01: 33:57

Yeah, and that and that sounds nice and simple, but. that's still been a challenge for me to trust that, especially when your whole nervous system is set up on fight flight and right deep down to a core of life from, you know, from childhood. It can even be when you've been in womb, you know, that you've, the mother was really stressed or anything you can be carrying at right down to an embryonic level. So, yeah. So just saying trust it is, is a huge thing for your nervous system to do. So you have to be really kind and compassionate and play maybe a little bit of a game with it rather than thinking i've just got to throw my whole self into that because the nervous system will just go not doing this we have to do it within its own space and time and compassionate so also to to know that we've been so conditioned to be busy to create anything we have to be busy which is that masculine that doing to then be able to rest and Without guilt.

SPEAKER_00: 34:53

Because that's the thing, isn't it? Oh, I need to be doing something. It's a whole busyness syndrome. If we're not busy doing something, we're not productive. What are we doing?

SPEAKER_01: 35:03

Yes. Yeah. And I know I've experienced it. It's like, well, okay, when money's not coming in, it's like, well, what more can I be doing? It's like, well, maybe actually what you need to be doing is less. You need to be resting more because actually money is the same energy as the sacral. And I actually think it's feminine. too so it's more about the flow it's not actually a masculine energy it's kind of being controlled by the masculine as it were but it's not um it's more of a feminine energy that needs to flow it's water it's the sacral so actually we need to be trusting that more to be able to allow money to flow to us this is what i'm feeling is a big shift what's happening with money But it's for women to step in and to really embody the feminine, to enable themselves to receive the abundance that we're

SPEAKER_00: 35:55

all seeking. And you've just given me a lovely segue here, because talking of money, a phrase you used, and I imagine that this can be quite tough to live by, and I'd like more of your insights in this, but joy as a currency. Yes. How do we find joy? Because we're not going to feel joyous every day. And by joy, do you mean being upbeat or is it a state of mind in terms of gratitude and being thankful? How do we interpret the joy into our lives so that we can love what we're doing and who we are?

SPEAKER_01: 36:35

Yeah, I mean, joy. So when I say joy is a currency, it's about living in that higher frequency. So love is 528 and then joy is 560 hertz. So I talk about everything in terms of frequency. This is where we're going. Every emotion has a frequency. Everything has a frequency. And for me, joy is... Yeah, you can't have it all the time. I get that because we're often flitting from one state to the next in our nervous system. So if we've been triggered with fear, with money, with responsibilities, if we've got shame or guilt going on, that is the same frequency as lead. So lead balloon, you can't always... get joy or sustain joy when you're carrying if you

SPEAKER_00: 37:21

had joy all the

SPEAKER_01: 37:21

time it wouldn't be joy surely exactly i think so definitely and i i think gratitude is is a key one but gratitude heartfelt gratitude not honestly just going well i'm really grateful for this and this and that and everything else because i know i need to do my gratitude journal it's like no actually you have to have that real heartfelt gratitude yeah where you're literally

SPEAKER_00: 37:42

there is there is a danger there is a danger so we talk about oh we know this is a trend the whole gratitude journaling, being thankful, but you've got to actually do it. And I'm not telling people what to do, but as you say, it has to come from the heart. It has to be, you're not doing it because you should. And I think listeners know how I feel about shoulds, but it's doing it. That's the shame word. Shoulds is the shame word. Yeah. It's someone else's, it's someone else's opinion. Someone else's thought. It doesn't come from what you actually want to do. But it would say it's being thankful. I would use the word authentic, but sadly that's losing its authenticity as well. But yeah, expressing ourselves and embracing our energy, our feminine energy. Totally. I

SPEAKER_01: 38:25

mean, I've noticed that actually, and this is what I'm talking about, when we're more in our feminine energy and we're having fun and we're joy and we're loving ourselves and loving our bodies and everything, Things just happen. Things just flow. Things just come to you. It's like, I remember the other day and I was looking at my diary and thinking, I haven't got many people in, but then I was just at somebody's place and they had a pool and I sat and swimming and had a good laugh. I had three people literally drop in. I think that's, not in the pool, in my diary. But it's just kind of like, wow, by not stressing and not worrying and actually just enjoying and being that higher frequency energy, I've attracted. people to come and see me so this isn't about that hard keep pushing doing because we're just not in the right energy and we're not going to attract what we want and when you talk about authenticity it's um again that's a never frequency that our hearts will be able to hear so we are really going through this massive heart awakening of being able to discern what is our truth and what isn't and again it's our own truth what's our mental health telling us what's our thoughts what's the distortions but also how we're giving it away through watching different media the fear the conjuring up what's the distruth the AI everything is really our brains won't be able to discern what is truth but our hearts will we have to sit and drop into that to note but this is something that we haven't been shown to do and this is something we've got to start learning how to reconnect into our hearts because this is where all our our power all our wisdom sits within him

SPEAKER_00: 40:10

i love that i love that oh yeah well and listeners if you'd like to get in touch with jemma and i'm sure you will i'll be giving her details um in a little while and obviously they're all in the show notes and on jemma's profile on the midlife unlimited podcast website but before we get to that you know what's coming It's your three questions. The same three questions that I ask each of my fabulous female guests every week on Midlife Unlimited. So there's no right answers. There's no wrong answers. There's just your answers. The first question is, what is your midlife anthem? The piece of music, song or sound that lights you up when you hear it?

SPEAKER_01: 40:56

Oh, it'll have to be Confident by Demi Lovato. I think that's the way she's pronounced her surname.

SPEAKER_00: 41:02

I don't know if I know that one. I won't ask you

SPEAKER_01: 41:04

to sing

SPEAKER_00: 41:05

it. So were you playing it in Sardinia?

SPEAKER_01: 41:09

yes yeah and whenever I need that pick me up get back onto joy level um it's like get into the kitchen and it's pussy power disco you know I literally have a playlist and I'm literally right that is pussy power that I'm just gonna make me shake my booty just love being in my body that's the tune I go to I like that

SPEAKER_00: 41:30

because I keep talking about it and come on Kate perfectly in perfect action you need to do it I keep talking about doing the playlist from these questions I think it's going to have to be the midlife unlimited pussy power disco playlist I might have to nick that from you yep go for

SPEAKER_01: 41:47

it yes and then everyone will start putting on their tunes like what is actually gets them rocking and being in themselves and loving being themselves I think that if you can get a tune that takes you there

SPEAKER_00: 41:59

that's oh definitely that's what you need It's so powerful, isn't it? Now, obviously, music plays a big part, I think, in both our lives. And so many of us find it inspiring, motivating, but words as well. So question two, what is your midlife mantra or mantras? I still don't know what the plural is. You can have more than one. The phrase that you live your midlife by. Oh,

SPEAKER_01: 42:26

well, I've written down here, I'm shifting my shite. not losing it

SPEAKER_00: 42:34

yes

SPEAKER_01: 42:35

that is good I like that I do like that I find whenever my head or everything's just starting to create chaos I'm like this is just moving it's just shifting through it's not real and you know I'm just shifting it so that's such a good one I think I feel a t-shirt coming on I think so I'm shifting my shite not losing it I think it's or break I'm breaking free not breaking down but I like the shite bit it feels good today

SPEAKER_00: 43:04

yeah we've had pussy we've had shite we're going

SPEAKER_01: 43:08

for this and then I do bring in some nice pure ones like I choose love I choose joy I choose peace especially when I've gone into like mental like crazy take me down kind of nonsense it's like i have it's like an sos so in seriousness when i have these moments which i know we all are going through at times yeah i choose love i choose joy i choose peace and actually those three are saying um i don't want this this isn't my truth this is what i'm choosing so the brain instantly is going well i need to start creating different neural plasticity so then i bring it into my heart and go i'm worthy of love joy and peace and then i think whole body i am love i am joy i am peace and I keep repeating that as a mantra for about five minutes from being on the floor booing my eyes out to suddenly going what the hell was all that about it is very very powerful and if you can do that like when you're brushing your teeth with a toothbrush in the other side of your hand because you used to start to create this neoplasticity when you do have these issues you can just call on that and the brain will go it will switch it will switch

SPEAKER_00: 44:13

so it's just a choice isn't it it's all about choices opening up the choices choosing the path

SPEAKER_01: 44:22

choices are power this is what i say and um it's fear that has us think we don't have a choice so again if we're thinking we don't have a choice we know we're sitting in fear

SPEAKER_00: 44:33

no so true so true which which leads us rather beautifully on to the final question and i'm quite excited about this one what is the title of your autobiography oh

SPEAKER_01: 44:46

No, it could be I'm shifting my shine, not losing it. It could be that. It could be that one as well. Oh, I've got so many. For me, I'm feeling like it's still Pussy Power, the voice of the feminine. That feels

SPEAKER_00: 45:04

like a good one. I can see that on Amazon in the charts. Just for the hell of it. Just for the hell of getting the phrase out there. Oh, that's brilliant. Well, for all the ladies out there, who would like to start using the phrase pussy power far more, how can they get in contact with you, Gemma? And as I say, all your details are in the show notes, they're live clickable links and on your profile on the Midlife Unlimited podcast website. But if you could just verbally talk us through how people can get in touch with you. Certainly.

SPEAKER_01: 45:37

So I have two different platforms. I've got the Infinity Health Hub, which is looking at whole encompassing and bringing different people in as well as myself. And then I And also for my personal is remedial therapy clinic. So to get hold of me an email is simply Gemma at the infinityhealthhub.com. But then I've also equally got my Facebook pages that they can come. I've even got a pussy power Facebook group that I'm setting up and start to try and sort of dismantle all this. I'll be in there. yeah and it's literally yeah so that that's how people can get hold of me and i'm actually um going to be starting something in august actually to take 12 other women on a journey of really understanding this the level of how we can get to our blueprint get to our dna get through our trauma and take people on this journey to activate these higher parts of ourselves

SPEAKER_00: 46:36

Excellent. Well, I'll make sure that all, all the links for finding out more are in the show notes for you. And, uh, I'd love your feedback on today's episode. I've learned quite a lot, which I love, I love, I love. So it'd be fabulous if you could leave a review or you can email me or text me via the link in the show notes and come and join the Midlife Unlimited podcast Facebook group. Again, the links in the show notes where you'll find the website link to with details of my exclusive VIP Midlife Metamorphosis coaching offers. So thank you for joining me, Gemma. I've loved this episode. I So I've learned so much and I want to go to Sardinia now. And thank you for listening. I look forward to you tuning in next week because don't forget, Midlife Unlimited has a new episode every Thursday available wherever you listen to your podcasts. So here's to being fabulous and flourishing together and living Midlife Unlimited. Thanks ever so much, Gemma.

SPEAKER_02: 47:35

Thank you.