Episode #048 How to Use Tarot as a Tool to Support Midlife Change with Guest Nikki Leader

Midlife is a fabulous time to try something new. And this often means whisking things off that back burner and taking perfectly imperfect action.

For your host Kate Porter, one such thing is Tarot. She was intrigued from when she first saw Jane Seymour as Solitaire in James Bond’s Live and Let Die.

And she couldn’t resist buying an original pack of the Tarot of the Witches, which Jane uses in the film, when she spotted them on an auction site. Kate even signed up to a Teach Yourself Tarot course. But that’s as far as she’s got.

Until now. Because Kate’s taking that action and calling in the expert. 

So, if you’re Tarot curious too, join Kate Porter The Midlife Metamorphosis Coach® and her guest Tarot Reader, Psychic Medium and Spiritual Teacher Nikki Leader for Episode 048 as they talk about How to Use Tarot as a Tool to Support Midlife Change.

Midlife Unlimited® is all about busting myths. And Nikki and Kate do just that – from the importance of clarifying that Nikki is not a fortune teller, to what Tarot actually is and the history of the card deck.

Nikki shares with Kate her midlife metamorphosis journey, explaining that discovering Tarot was “not in my gameplan”, and how tragedy led her to choose to follow this path like “the pieces of a jigsaw coming together”.

And Nikki explains how listeners can start exploring Tarot in Midlife as a means of self-awareness and personal growth.

Connect with Nikki

https://nikkileader.com/

https://www.instagram.com/nikkileader/

https://www.tiktok.com/@Thespirit-hub

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:02

Welcome to Midlife Unlimited, the podcast for Gen X up women who want more. I'm your host, Kate Porter, the Midlife Metamorphosis Coach, and I know what it's like to feel stuck navigating the midlife maze. I've looked in the mirror and thought, who is that woman? So Midlife Unlimited is here to let you know you are not alone. You don't have to put on a brave face and put up with it. You don't have to play it safe. Midlife Unlimited is all about ripping off that mask and telling midlife how it really is. Nothing is off limits because together there's no limit to what we can achieve. So welcome to today's episode. Now midlife is a fabulous time to try new things. I'm always harping on about it and this often means whisking things off that back burner and taking perfectly imperfect action. And for me, one such thing is tarot. I was intrigued when I first saw Jane Seymour as solitaire in James Bond's Live and Let Die, and I couldn't resist later in life buying an original pack of the Tarot of the Witches cards that she used in the film when I spotted them for sale on a selling website. I even signed up to a Teach Yourself Tarot course. But you know what's coming, don't you? That's as far as I got. So today I am taking that action and calling in the expert. So I'm delighted to be joined by my guest, Nikki Leder, tarot reader, psychic medium and spiritual teacher to talk about how to use tarot as a tool to support midlife change and personal growth. So welcome, Nikki. It's fabulous to have you here. And I'm rather excited about this episode. So I won't apologise in advance of my enthusiasm, but I'm just pre-warning you. Welcome to Midlife Unlimited. Hi,

SPEAKER_02: 2:10

Kate. Thank you for having me. It's lovely. And of course, I don't need any encouragement, not only to talk about tarot, but spiritual tools and how we can apply them in our everyday, because that's really what got me through some really dark and difficult times.

SPEAKER_01: 2:27

And that's what I love about it, because Midlife Unlimited, it's all about smashing stuff. stereotypes and busting myths and that's one of the reasons why I'm delighted that you're here because I think Tarot's got so many myths surrounding it and obviously there's one thing that you'd like to get very clear right from the get-go let's bust this myth you are not a fortune teller are you

SPEAKER_02: 2:49

no absolutely not no

SPEAKER_01: 2:53

so Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 2:54

Explain what you are. Okay. So maybe we need to go into my story a little bit in order to understand how I got to where I am. Absolutely. Because I think there are so many labels now put on what you do, who you are, that sort of thing. But I think the second, the latter question is really important because most people come to this work because it chooses them. And I think that's a really important part of that because I did not consciously choose to do this work at all but I always look back and I think wow it really chose me because it just became non-negotiable in my life and that really stemmed from something very traumatic but as children we're all psychic let's let's put that out there everybody is psychic everybody has what we know as a sixth sense or intuition but and children have it in spades because they come from I mean some people have their own idea of where children come from but for me children come from a source and that source is linked with and in eastern philosophy it's very linked with the energy the chakras which is what I work with an energy system and we come into the body so children do see energy they do see things they might not see physical things initially but they see things which is why they respond to certain things and their emotional compass is absolutely as fine and as perfect as it could possibly be but the longer we're in the body and we get distracted by all the physical and the human stuff we start to lose that connection i was going to say does it fade down over time well yes because really what that's about is being very right brain so to geek out a little bit when i work i completely go into my right brain which is the feminine side which is intuition it dreaming and its creativity now men and women have both masculine and feminine but to do this work we go into that stillness when we can hear and we can intuit things the logical which we need at school and to operate in everyday life so we need a balance of the two but that is the logical stuff that's the the routine stuff we have to do every day the practical and that's the masculine side of us all so we're constantly swinging very much between the two but what's interesting in the rise and the renaissance of tarot and this spirituality and this sort of what I call the sweet shop of discovering something new is really relevant to really what you're doing and what you're talking about because in midlife it is such a massive time of change for women in every sense and this change happens at a time when I think that we do start to reflect and we start to ask something is there more is there more of this you know when children leave if you haven't had children you might be have been on a hamster wheel of work that sort of thing and suddenly there's this shift in your energy which is also biological and we want something different we want something new and there's like an exploration that kind of begins if we allow that

SPEAKER_01: 6:11

yeah no that's perfectly aligned again with everything that midlife unlimited is all about because i head it up as the podcast for women who want more because so many of the amazing women that i have the pleasure of working with they're in that place where they're thinking is this it I don't want this to be it I don't want to settle now I haven't I've not done I haven't just because just because everything else is changing I've got so much more to give and I'm absolutely delighted that later on you're going to be sharing your top tips and insights for how we as midlife women can explore tarot as a means of self-awareness and personal growth through this midlife change and beyond but you alluded to how to Tarot came into your life. And I know, obviously, it is very traumatic circumstances that really drew you into it. But do you mind sharing your story of how, and a bit more about, because it's actually started as a parlor game, Tarot. Am I right in saying? Yes.

SPEAKER_02: 7:12

I mean, it started as a game, really, that was nothing to do with being a divination tool in the 18th century. And then as time goes on, Tarot became a divination tool, really. But I love when you mentioned also that you have, you know, the witch's tarot. And what I would always say is in the same way that I was drawn into this work and it chose me, you get drawn into something. I did not use tarot at all at the beginning of my journey. So really, I would, it's a much longer story. But basically, I think when it really catapulted into my life was following a car crash where my partner died and I was driving the car and I can only look back now and it was my psychic senses completely exploded because in the time I feel when something really traumatic happens your energy leaves your body which is why you kind of get floaty a bit and you go into this immediate trauma, which is very different from when somebody dies and it's a slightly longer process. You know, if it's a very, you know, dramatic ending, your energy comes out of your body and therefore it's a grieving process for your energy to get back into your body and for you to ground things. So I had met somebody, a tutor who worked at the College of Psychic Studies through a friend, a lady who became a friend of mine who was an amazing energy healer but she was also very psychic and I was just doing my thing doing my school run and I kept passing this place called the energy therapy clinic and one day I just thought I've got to go in because I just kept looking at it every time I drove past and I went in and I was selling some magnetic bracelets and I said to this girl in there are these anything to do with what you do so again on some very deep subconscious level I was being drawn drawn in to go there and when I went in she looked at me and she just gave me that sort of all-knowing smile because she knew that anybody who goes into that space was meant to be there and I went for a session with her because she said look come and come and see what we do so I went with a session with her and she put her hands on my shoulders and I completely collapsed in floods of tears and I sort of wept for about half an hour so my body literally took me into that space to say okay you're ready we need to let go and she then became a very very dear friend sadly passed away a couple of years ago but she was running a workshop called meet your spirit guides at her clinic and I'm absolutely I've always been I love new things I have an adventure side to me so I said yeah I'm up for that so I went and did this workshop with one of the tutors at the College of Psychic Studies in London and she I just had this extraordinary extraordinary sense that I'd never really experienced before of knowing I was going to see her again. And fast forward to my accident, I called the College of Psychic Studies and said, is she still working? And she had actually gone to Australia to live with her daughter, but unexpectedly come back and she ran a course. really generally about understanding energy, understanding spirit guides and that sort of thing. And it was only four weeks and she's never done one before and she's never done one since. But I got onto that course. And when I did that course, I for two weeks in, I was just reading for people. I had that connection was so strong. But also what was happening was I was actually seeing car crashes on the road before they happened. So I knew one particular occasion when I was driving close to my home and I got this overwhelming sense there'd been a car accident and I put the radio on and the news came on and there had been a car accident so I thought okay I need to I need to manage this because I can't live like this and so I went and did the course with her and it really grounded me so what I would say is anything to do with spirituality tarot oracle you're basically opening up to a very different dimension you're opening up to a different frequency and what I needed to do was get back into my body so that I could I could operate in the frequency that the world was was vibrating at and living in because I wasn't there was something that I felt quite uncomfortable with and I often see people and I have done in the last sort of 20 30 years of people who talk about being very uncomfortable in their body and they're normally super sensitive something quite traumatic may have happened or they might might be an absolute empath but I'm seeing so much of the younger generation and your listeners who have kids might relate to this and I do a lot of work with actual grounding people getting their energy back into their body so that they can operate and that isn't necessarily where readings come in and that sort of work because that's coming out of your body or taking your mind out of your body but it's in midlife where it's really helped in every sense for me is understanding my energy, understanding other people's energy. Women, I sometimes feel in midlife, feel very lost because I have a lot of them coming to me for readings. And normally there, I ask them where they're at and how they're feeling. And most of them say, I feel very lost. But that doesn't just apply at the moment to midlife. It applies to a lot of generations of different age groups saying, I feel lost. And what I found was doing this this work connected me with something so much deeper and higher that any intuition and any whispers of guidance that I got, I followed them. And I promised myself that no matter what the circumstance or the consequence, I would follow them because I knew that as my experience had taken me into a space where I completely surrendered and let go. I had no idea what I was doing, what happened. I had no idea where it was going to take me. And then I had a reading with this tutor who said, you're gonna be doing what I'm doing. You have an extraordinary future ahead of you. And I just looked at her and I said, well, that's a bit of a waste of 70 quid, isn't it? Because how on earth is that ever? I can't do what you do. And she said, everybody can do what I do. Not everybody's meant to do what I do, but what I'm sensing is that you choose, and obviously there's free will, but it connected me in a way that I felt a lot safer in the world. I felt very self-aware of my own guidance and my own choices and I had to be still in order to do what I really wanted to do and all of those things I think are really good qualities for people at the moment and particularly in midlife where very often you've been on a hamster wheel of some sort in order to do this work or actually to have a deck of tarot it gives you five minutes if you're drawn to it of just stillness and you ask yourself a question and then you look at the cards and you intuit them. So the one workshop I love is called the intuitive life that I that I run, because we talk a lot about intuition, we talk about spiritual tools, and spirituality, I feel, is not necessarily the same as religion. So some people, particularly men will say, Oh, no, no, I'm not religious at all. And I, and that's fine. And religion, absolutely, people get very drawn to their own religious faith but for me it's a faith in something greater i don't particularly have a label to it um and i'm drawn to various faiths and you know buddhism or that there's all sorts of different um tools that i use in my life and at different stages in my life because i've been doing this a long time i'll get drawn to something you know after my accident i needed detachment and stillness and so buddhism became a very powerful tool for me um And I explore all sorts of things, whether it's the Bible or whether it's... But I wouldn't say I'm religious. I just have an absolute faith in something much greater than me. Call it fate, call it destiny, call it source, God, connection, whatever. And nature. Nature is a massive one for me.

SPEAKER_01: 16:06

No, something I'd love to explore. There are two phrases there that you used, free will and choices. And again, I'm coming to this as someone who's tarot curious, shall we say. It's something that I've always found fascinating, just even the cards themselves, the names of the cards. But to me, and I say, I'm a wannabe, I'm a beginner. I have a preconception. I have this stereotype in my head that tarot is linked to some side, like, as we said, bust in the whole fortune telling the idea of predestination and fated behavior or fated outcomes which go against what i believe in which is obviously that we have choices that we make our own luck for want of a better word so how when a reading happens you said obviously we can actually do the cards for ourselves as well um Is it about how we interpret the card? Is the energy coming from us or do the cards themselves convey? I don't know if that makes any sense at all. Yeah, no,

SPEAKER_02: 17:16

absolutely. It makes sense. And it's a really valid question. So what we're actually doing for me, let's talk about intuition. Yeah, absolutely. Because this will guide. So your intuition is your inner knowing. So there is a natural intelligence that breathes you and that is around in nature, that is around us all the time. And if you take a view that everything is energy, we can tap into whatever energy we want, including repeated patterns. This is how repeated patterns come. If we've been around certain behaviors when we're younger, those repeated patterns will become a belief system. And intuition is that part of you when you connect to it that just knows. It's a knowing, it's a gut feeling. Yeah, for me, there's no coincidence that gut health has become a very, very hot topic. if actually what you're doing is connecting through your heart into your intuition. Because sure as eggs, we're going to start living, we already are, in an AI world. Your intuition is absolutely going to be your superpower, everybody's superpower. Because if it doesn't feel right, doesn't matter what you see, doesn't matter what you hear, because avatars are probably going to pick up our voices and start making phone calls on behalf of us, we know that is in the future. So your gut feeling and your intuition, which is is why I love the resurgence of something like tarot or meditation or breath work, because actually subconsciously what we're really doing is connecting to something much greater. Whether you want to believe that or not, that is what you're doing. You're connecting to another layer and that is your internal GPS because you're going to need it. And I feel it's absolutely incredible the way what's happening in the world is actually very naturally bringing people back to remembering that they have a sixth sense they have their intuition and you are constantly receiving information from around you constantly so in that sense what intuition is not is like wishful thinking it is not something that only special or gifted people have it's not everybody has it it's not separate from your everyday awareness and it is not something that contradicts logic and reason it's complementary to that so this head heart connection is important because it may be that intuitively you really feel that you really want to do something and you you want to do it right now but what if a member of your family is not well or what if there are physical responsibilities and routines that for now you actually need to to to live and and do so what's your intuition and and let's put tarot out of the way but actually Actually, your intuition comes in your dreams. That's your subconscious giving you imagery. It's not logical imagery. If you have a dream about somebody dying, it doesn't mean that person's going to die.

SPEAKER_03: 20:48

And

SPEAKER_02: 20:48

that's why I say I'm not a fortune teller. Your dreams are not fortune telling. Their intuition, they can be something

SPEAKER_01: 20:55

that brings you energy. It's almost clues, isn't it? I find that fascinating. Yeah, it's learning. Like with the tarot cards, it's death doesn't mean death, as I understand it. It's learning. How to interpret. And presumably, I won't say assume, because I don't like that word. You know what that does to us. But an infinite, to a certain extent, combination of cards that can be interpreted in an almost infinite number of ways, depending on the person that's drawing the card.

SPEAKER_02: 21:27

Yeah, absolutely. And you know, sometimes, you know, when synchronicity happens and you think, wow, that is incredible. I love that. I love that. We all love synchronicity. What synchronicity is, is alignment. That's what it is. It's when you're feeling good. And we'll talk about that later because that's my mantra. It's when you're feeling good, your vibe is up. You know, that's why we talk about good vibes, high vibes, because that's when your energy is feeling good. So you send

SPEAKER_00: 21:57

out if you like that message. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 22:00

Yeah. So when we go back to tarot, it's about clarity. It's about guidance. And if you ask the universe or you ask a question and your words, your words are energy. When you put your words out there, something, somebody, something, whatever you believe that is, here's you. You send out that vibration. So if you are sending out good vibes, the frequency of what you're putting out there wants to come back to you. It wants to. If you're putting out sad vibes, we don't want sad vibes, but if we're putting them out there, it will come back. So that's the other thing. You know, we can't just have the good times. We have to be really open and say, okay, yeah, I've had a really good time. This is a really shitty time. But the good thing is I know that if I can shift what is happening and I embody the emotions, but I use tools to move the energy through my body, which is what stuck emotion is, that's when we start to really notice life and ourselves in such a different way, such a different way.

SPEAKER_01: 23:10

Absolutely. I mean, I'm a huge fan of, as you say, reframing and just shifting our focus So I've got so many questions, I don't want to bombard you with it. I think if we just naturally move into, because I know you're very happily going to be sharing top tips for starting to explore tarot. So let's use me as the example then. I've got my pack. I've got the enthusiasm. Yeah. what do

SPEAKER_02: 23:47

I

SPEAKER_01: 23:47

do?

SPEAKER_02: 23:48

Yeah, okay. So let's, you've obviously been drawn to that particular pack. So the difference between Oracle, because I know that some people will see an Oracle deck and they'll say, well, what's the difference between Tarot

SPEAKER_01: 24:00

and Oracle? Yes, because I've had those as well, yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 24:03

Yeah, very briefly. Tarot is a system. It's much more of a life path. So you have, Tarot is about what they call the hero's journey. So there are major archives which are big life changes which very simply have just words on them and then you have the four suits which are um well some people call them discs pentacles wands swords and cups now each of those so think about a deck of cards and some people read playing cards but each of those is linked to an element so fire water earth air so each one so just if you've just gone and got yourself a deck i would say that oracle cards are a lot easier to read because they've normally got a word they're also more modern so most of the oracle decks have been made probably in the last 50 years tarot is much much older so also you get drawn for that reason potentially and tarot as I say is much more of a system whereas an oracle deck you just get an oracle deck and always always always the question that I personally get clients to ask every single time this is my readings have a system And I say, I invite my clients to close their eyes and say, what do I need to help me move forwards today? Because that way you're not saying, does he love me or not? You know, will I move house or not? Because normally that question you're asking is not because you want, well, it is because you want to know, but you may not need to know. What you may need to know is the process that might get you to the house move or might get you into that space yourself of love. So this is learning that it's not about your external life. This is about your internal life, because once you start to connect with that You'll find things like the colors on the cards will jump out at you. And this is Oracle or Tarot. So you look for colors. You look for numbers. You might see a number 32. Two weeks later, you'll go and see a house. It's number 32. And you will notice that because you've been in that stillness and you're observing. You're bringing and you notice things. And there might be a lot of stuff on that card you won't even notice. But you might look at the same card in three months time and you'll see something completely different.

SPEAKER_01: 26:23

Because I'm a firm believer, and I use this in my coaching a lot, that we actually have the answers inside us. That's why I love the word metamorphosis, because the woman that we deserve to be, everything we need, we already have. It's just reaching in and unleashing it. And so in terms of using a guide, whether, as you say, tarot, oracle, to reach in and actually focus and quiet the mind and actually, I don't want to use the word change, channel because obviously that has different meanings as well. But it is, as you say, focusing, isn't it? Focusing your thoughts, your emotions. I mean, is it tough dealing with or working with people who, because I find it a very emotional situation, just coaching, but the emotions that you must encounter must go so deep. They are, but they're not mine. No. They're not mine. Do you find it

SPEAKER_02: 27:22

difficult to No, but that's why I trained. And there is a side to this that actually, I've got to be honest, is really bothering me right now out in the world.

SPEAKER_01: 27:32

That's what I was going to say because there must be. People

SPEAKER_02: 27:35

are picking up tarot decks all over the place and Oracle, which is fine. However, I really strongly believe that in order to do this work, you are tuning in to something different. You're tuning in to a different frequency. Now, that frequency, if you choose it, you need to know, are you tuning into the frequency of unconditional love? Are you tuning into the frequency of compassion? Because every emotion has a frequency. Or are you tuning into control? Are you tuning into fear? Because that's what generally people every day, and the reason they want to do this is because they want to tune out of fear or control or not knowing, which is a form of control, really. So when people do this work and they're tuning in, into a different energy, different frequency, how do they then tune out of it? That's why the training and the learning is so important for me. I have just done a workshop called The Intuitive Life. Everybody on that course, I probably spent the entire morning teaching and helping people ground themselves because every meditation you listen to, when you read a spiritual book, when you pick up a card and you're sitting and you're meditating, you're tuning into something else. You're going into your body and you're tuning into, if you start to receive messages, but in the same way that takes me back to how i started i was receiving stuff i did not want to receive and when you open up and it happened to me subconsciously but a lot of people now it's absolutely all over social media is spirituality and meditation and all this kind of floaty

SPEAKER_01: 29:18

other words as well isn't it like the occult and that then kind of connotations of dark arts and it's a murky potentially world isn't it and how things are used for good, as you say, I don't want to say good and evil, but it's like, why? Why are people wanting to use tarot? Why are they wanting to encourage others to use them? As you say, control elements. It's important to go to someone who knows what they're doing, isn't it? Or work with someone who knows what they're doing.

SPEAKER_02: 29:48

Yeah, it is. And I'm completely insured for the work that I do. If anything happens, I have millions of pounds worth of insurance. But I guarantee you that most people on TikTok do not have that so what happens if somebody who's very vulnerable who's really searching for somebody to help them better their life which we know we can't do they have to choose to do that but they will be drawn to certain things but when you do this work if you're working on the in the energy of unconditional love it feels incredible you know when you come out of your body that's why people go to drugs that's why people go to alcohol because they get their energies out of the body they're escaping something and what do is really important about this stuff. And it feels very dramatic. I don't want to go off point. But it is important because we want to live in the real world. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. So I would just say to people, just be mindful when you're doing an oracle reading or you want to explore that sort of stuff. It's really worth just doing a little workshop or something to understand how this works. When you have your car, you don't try and fix it all yourself unless either you study it a lot

SPEAKER_01: 31:01

or you take it to a garage for somebody who knows. I was going to say, yeah, if you're taking up any sort of other hobby that involves using a piece of equipment, for example, you learn how to, you read the manual, don't you? And to a certain extent, tarot or oracle cards, but we're focusing on tarot for this. I'm loving this. It is a tool, isn't it? So it's learning how to use that tool.

SPEAKER_02: 31:27

Exactly. And And it is a tool of divination, but you can really, it's so fun and you really can play. A lot of my work I do are tarot parties in London for corporate businesses. You know, I do this in all sorts of places because I want to bring it to all sorts of different places, you know, and I don't just sit, you know, in one place with my crystal ball or anything. You know, I go and do festivals, but it's a very sacred thing for me and I'm really strict about it. You know, I have had people on workshops who I've had to turn away because, you know, they've they're still working through their really deep trauma and they want to come because it feels great and they want to escape it but their difficulty is being in their body because of their trauma so what they really need to be doing is being out in nature doing an adventure playground with their bare feet on the grass and doing breath work or getting into an ice bath do you know what i mean before

SPEAKER_01: 32:19

they come to tarot

SPEAKER_02: 32:21

yes or asking and saying you know do you do a grounding workshop or something because that is so important there is every meditation out there on YouTube, millions of tarot readers out there on YouTube. But when people are listening to these meditations, it's fine to go to sleep because you get back into your body when you wake up. But, you know, how many people actually read the thing that says do not meditate while you're operating machinery or when you're about to drive because you're not present. You're present, not in a physical way. Does that make sense? And people talk about become present when you meditate. I would argue that actually you need to come out of that and really get back into your body and really, you know, be your feet on the ground. And some people, particularly young people, are finding that really hard right now because they're all in their head. They're being distracted, left, right and center. And their learning really is to feel really comfortable in the world. And that doesn't necessarily mean you need to get your energy out of your body and do kind of tarot readings or you know do tarot yourself but let's use this as tarot to help you through midlife and we talk about connection you know we talk about grounding we talk about stillness we talk about all those lovely things that when kids have left or we want a big life change in tune with the new cycle that we're starting, you know, through menopause and this different cycle that we're in. And to honor that, it's really fun to explore. And tarot is actually very grounding. You know, angel cards, not so much. It's a different frequency. But again, you get drawn to different decks. So whatever deck you choose, absolutely right for you. So it stops you questioning things. And sometimes you might get absolutely nothing. But the personal changes are when you look at a card, what emotional response do you have to that card? What color do you see? What physical sensation do you have in your body? What does that card make you want to do?

SPEAKER_04: 34:36

Hmm. So

SPEAKER_02: 34:40

there's all sorts of different layers. When you see a mirror in a card, what does that mean for you? When you see a bridge on a card, what does that mean to you? So there are so, so many layers to this. And that's why it is actually really fun to explore. But can you see how that just noticing that?

SPEAKER_01: 35:01

Because I'm a very visual person as well. So I think that's perhaps why the cards appealed to me or spoke to me as well. Yeah. And maybe

SPEAKER_02: 35:10

also you might hear something in your head that will tell you, no, go for that, go for that, on just looking at the card. And then you step out into the world. What else do you notice that before you had never noticed before? And that's a massive change. What do you notice about how your body's feeling? What do you notice? So next time your body says, oh, I really want an ice cream, go and have the ice cream. That's your body talking to you if it's not healthy for you and you don't need. I don't need to be told twice. what I'm sensing and this is the connection. So in one sense, by just noticing really small details, perhaps for the whole of your life, you've never noticed and stopped to notice the detail. Maybe you've never been as self-aware just as in that moment when you're looking at a card and then the next time you look at that card, you might see a pink background. Maybe you're going to have a grandchild. Maybe it'll be a little girl. Maybe that will mean something to you. So we start to find deeper meaning as you do this, but that absolutely filters out into your life, which is, I think, when yoga teachers say, take this stillness out into the world. It's like, for me, it's take this awareness, take your connection to yourself, believe and trust in yourself, because everything that you're feeling is your truth. So this is where the whole truth thing comes in. And if you can't sit still, and look at that card or you don't get anything, ask yourself, what else in my world am I not really connecting to? Am I just not getting anything? And you might feel it, you know, if you're in that space where... things are hard and you're finding emptiness syndrome or you know whatever midlife means for you what are you disconnected from and what do you want to connect with in your world maybe you sang as a little girl and somebody said to you oh can you just be quiet i'm trying to concentrate you stop singing yeah you know it opens up so many things so you might pick a card of a lady with music or something and that has a very very deep shift perhaps for you it might mean nothing for me it means everything for me because it's music but you know I might see something that will really really apply to me but when you say do I feel the emotions no I absolutely don't because I have a certain way of working and I absolutely know that my emotions are not their emotions and I I've trained a long time and done this for a long time and what actually I think I'm very good at and what I know that is really deeply important as does any therapist is that you cannot interfere with somebody's process if they need to sink to rock bottom stop fixing it because you are doing them no favours at all and I spent a lot of in fact I was doing a reading for a couple of healers yesterday and they were really struggling now because they have been over giving and over giving and they're exhausted and burnt out because they thought they were healing you know somebody and it's the importance of knowing nobody is yours to fix there are much bigger powers doing the fixing trust me not you know yes hold space for somebody but understand that if I you know I've done a lot of mediumship I feel very very strong grief coming for people but if I have somebody who's passed over who comes to me with a message I very strong about if I really start to feel how they died that I ask them to stand back and any medium will tell you you ask them to stand back so you because you don't want that it's not yours but if I know you know if my arm starts to ache just for a second I'll pass that on and it probably turns out that yes they may be fallen over and they'd hurt their arm and it led to pneumonia or something like that happened so I do become super sensitive So I'm very, very, I'm as good as I can be. And that's not always brilliant, but I'm as good as I can be at looking after myself and my energy so that, and filling my cup so that I can then be of service to other people. Because without that, I couldn't do the work that I do. I

SPEAKER_01: 39:45

just couldn't. Absolutely. Wow. Wow. I'm absolutely loving this. And I say in a bit, we're going to ask you your three questions soon as well. that all my fabulous female guests get asked. But before, obviously, we will be giving your contact details for all the wonderful listeners that want to get in touch, that need some Nikki in their life, that are like me, that are curious, that want, or they've been working with Tara before, but they'd like to work with you again. But before we go on to your three questions, just quickly, what's next for me? Where do I go? Obviously, do I come to one of your sessions? Very, use your

SPEAKER_02: 40:22

intuition. You know, do you, you feel that feels right yes what feels right i would never say this is what you know i can show you what i do i point people to my website um i have a free 15 minute chat that people can just call me and say what do you think i need i have a soul alignment program which is an eight week very deep dive that we start with the soul plan reading that's a whole different um part of my work which is the mentoring the teaching i run workshops i'm going to be starting a workshop uh probably in Sussex in the new year, which will be spiritual development. I run workshops called The Intuitive Life, which is fantastic as a sort of beginners. And you do start to read cards and you do read them and you pass messages to other people. So that's a really wonderful day. That could be a good next step for me. Absolutely. And just in your everyday life, just today, you know, at some point, put your hand on your belly and say to your body, how am I feeling?

SPEAKER_04: 41:24

How

SPEAKER_02: 41:25

am I feeling? And sometimes I will use my body as a pendulum. So a dowsing pendulum that moves in a certain way and I'll use that. But just for today, do one thing where you just stop and you notice the veins on a leaf or you notice the smile or somebody's face or you notice a word. Just that one thing. Start to connect and notice things and become more aware so you're living you're very much starting to live more consciously and I feel that possibly sort of wraps up in a way what we're talking about this midlife chapter of our lives I feel that at the moment people get can get really down about it wow firstly you've made it that's amazing because many many people don't and secondly see this as in the middle you know your now in the middle of perhaps a phase of life that you needed at that time but what is ahead of you it's it's phenomenal potentially what can be ahead of you with all that experience i don't necessarily say wisdom some people feel they're not wise at all but we're all wise

SPEAKER_01: 42:46

Oh, I'm feeling so excited, I think is a good word. Yes. And I'm excited now. Yeah, no, you say.

SPEAKER_02: 42:57

Workshops, readings, anything, stop and just do a little bit of stillness, meditation. So once you start to connect and then pick up your cards and ask yourself, what do I need today? Go spread your cards out, pick one and just look at it. The first word that comes off the card, feel it. And maybe you have, you might want to have a little pen and pad by your cards. And every day, just like write one word of what you feel. And it can be completely irrelevant and something you know nothing about it could be a name it could be a number but write it down because you will be gobsmacked at how relevant and how important that could potentially be

SPEAKER_01: 43:40

I'm going to start a tarot book then. And we're going to support this episode with a Live for Five, obviously, Midlife Unlimited Live for Five, which will be available on my YouTube channel. So we're going to be actually getting the cards out for that because that's going to be a video podcast, isn't it? So we will continue this conversation over on our Live for Five as well. So I'm very excited about that because I can see you, but then everyone else will be able to see you as well. So I think now is a very good time to go into your three questions then before we repeat how everyone can get in touch with you. Love it. Put my teeth in, put my teeth in. I'm so excited. I'm actually holding my cards. So your first... Yeah, give them some

SPEAKER_04: 44:20

love. I

SPEAKER_01: 44:21

am, I am. Give them some love. So Nikki, your first question. I ask everyone the same. What is your... And you mentioned you love music, so I'm excited about this. What is your midlife anthem? The piece of music that lights you up.

SPEAKER_02: 44:39

Ain't No Mountain High Enough without a doubt and then I have to give you one more because actually no I won't give you that one I will just give you Ain't No Mountain High Enough

SPEAKER_01: 44:52

I want to know what you're holding back now you can't do that to me

SPEAKER_02: 44:56

you can't do that to

SPEAKER_01: 44:58

me the journalist in me needs to know it's

SPEAKER_02: 45:01

a much more it's just a very spiritual piece of music but there is something about it and it's called Vishnu's Prayer and I There's something for me in that music because I'm a sound practitioner as well. I hold soundbars in Sussex and I do quite big events. So I did a lovely one in the summer for Goodwood, the Goodwood estate in Sussex. And it was beautiful with about 80 dogs. Oh, wow. But music is my creative source, sound and music. So it was so difficult to choose this because don't you feel that each chapter in your life, You do have an anthem, but it can change.

SPEAKER_01: 45:43

It's like a songbook,

SPEAKER_02: 45:44

isn't it? Yeah. Yes. And I think for me, I divorced when my children were young. We had this bereavement my children have dealt with. And I feel that the words of Ain't No Mountain High Enough is, you know, they've also lived abroad. They've lived in Hong Kong. They've lived in Australia. My daughter now, thankfully, has moved from South Africa to France. But it talks about that distance of connecting.

SPEAKER_01: 46:09

And for me... Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 46:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 46:13

I love that strong bond. Oh, well, on to question two. And you alluded again earlier to this, but I'm like, I didn't want to push too hard because we want to hear it now. So your midlife mantra, please share it with me and the listeners.

SPEAKER_02: 46:29

All my focus is on feeling good. Yeah. That's it. Nothing more. Just feel good. And do everything, whatever that looks like for you. I was going to say, whatever that is for you. Yeah, because for me, that feels as if everybody just chose to feel good and do whatever made their heart sing. Wouldn't the world just be a fantastic place?

SPEAKER_01: 47:00

Yeah. Stop trying to make everyone else feel good. Concentrate on you first.

SPEAKER_02: 47:05

Yeah,

SPEAKER_01: 47:05

yeah. And not in a selfish way. Fill your cup. Yeah. Fill your cup. What does this mean? That's going to be my suit, isn't it? And then last, but in no way least, what is the title of your autobiography and when's it coming out?

SPEAKER_02: 47:25

It's called Red Shoes, The Unexpected Life from Separation to Purpose.

SPEAKER_01: 47:32

Oh, I like that. Where are the red shoes? Why red shoes? I know it's Kate Bush album, it reminds me of. Okay.

SPEAKER_02: 47:39

So when I went through a very difficult time, sort of post-accident, and it was all linked with money and self-worth and that sort of stuff. And I ended up losing my car, my dog. I didn't have any money at all. And this wonderful, incredible, I call her an earth angel, came to me and said, come and live with me for six months. So I did. And I had a pair of red converses and I was walking along the streets because I literally did not have any money to take a taxi or whatever, but I was looking for work. And weirdly, I couldn't get a job in London. I went into every cafe. I could not get any work. And I had these red converses and I was walking down the pavement. quite soon after I'd moved in, actually. And I promised myself that every step I took in those shoes would be towards a better life. Oh, yeah. Oh, do you still have them? no I don't but I have a little pair of red shoes and I put them on on there's a shelf where I have really special things

SPEAKER_00: 48:45

yeah

SPEAKER_02: 48:46

and yeah they're very much in my heart but every time I see they weren't sort of red they were actually those crimson ones not the bright red ones no I know yeah they were the crimson ones but I promised myself that every step I took and everything changed from there I saw pennies on the floor of buses and I started to pick them up but I knew when things had changed when i saw a coin or something on the ground and i said no that's not for me

SPEAKER_01: 49:14

yeah absolutely

SPEAKER_02: 49:17

i have enough i love that i'm good i

SPEAKER_01: 49:20

love that i love that This has been such a powerful episode. Thank you so much, Nikki. Now, we've alluded to how people can come and work with you, can find out more, can come into your world. So where's the best way to connect with you and contact you? Obviously, all your details are in the show notes for our episode and on the Midlife Unlimited podcast website. But if you could just talk me through your website and your social links as well.

SPEAKER_02: 49:48

Yeah, so I have a website, which is www.nikkilink. I'm more active on Instagram. So my account is at Nikki Leader on Instagram. I do have Facebook, which is Nikki Leader. And I do have a WhatsApp group called the Spirit Hub. And that is free to join. And at the moment, what I do is post astrology updates so that you've got a really good roadmap of the sky. And I post those once or twice every month. So people can join that through a QR code or just send me a message through my website. So there's a contact on my website. Those are the main places. Really, everything is on my website or my Instagram. And events are posted on there. You can book things on there. You can chat with me on there. And yeah, the WhatsApp is the more instant and that the Spirit Hub is going to be developing quite a bit. a lot over the next 18 months.

SPEAKER_01: 50:54

That's brilliant. Well, I will make sure all your links are fully up to date. And also listeners, I'd love your feedback on today's episode. So it'd be fabulous if you could leave a review or you could email or text me via the link in the show notes. And you can come and join the Midlife Unlimited podcast Facebook group. Again, the link in the show notes. And also there's the website link there where you'll find details of my exclusive VIP Midlife Metamorph So thank you for joining me, Nikki. It's been an absolute joy. I've learned so much and I'm absolutely buzzing and I knew I would be. Thank you for listening. I look forward to you tuning in next week because don't forget midlife unlimited has a new episode every thursday available wherever you listen to your podcasts so here's to being fabulous and flourishing together and living midlife unlimited thank you nikki it's been brilliant thank you

SPEAKER_03: 52:09

kate

SPEAKER_01: 52:10

bye