How to Celebrate Your Midway with Guest Kath Cheng

Happy New Year! How does that phrase make you feel? Filled with hope and excitement for the year to come and the challenges and choices it will bring? Or are you fighting the temptation to curl up on the sofa until the warm weather starts?

To kick-start 2026, this episode is all about welcoming the new year the Midlife Unlimited way. So join me and my guest mentor for Midlife women and founder of Her Midway Kath Cheng to talk about How to Celebrate Your Midway.

Connect with Kath

https://linktr.ee/kathcheng

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:01

Welcome to Midlife Unlimited, the podcast for women who want more. I'm your host, Kate Porter, the Midlife Metamorphosis Coach, and I know what it's like to feel stuck navigating the midlife maze. I've looked in the mirror and thought, who is that woman? So Midlife Unlimited is here to let you know you are not alone. You don't have to put on a brave face and put up with it. You don't have to play it safe. Midlife Unlimited is all about ripping off that mask and telling midlife how it really is. Nothing is off limits because together there's no limit to what we can achieve. So, welcome to today's episode and happy new year. How does that phrase make you feel? Filled with hope and excitement for the year to come and the challenges and choices it'll bring? Or are you fighting the temptation to curl up on the sofa until the warm weather starts? You're just not ready for 2026. Rather than just another day, January the 1st can feel rather overwhelming. And as for New Year's resolutions, grr check out my episode with Carrie Frost for more of how I feel about them, and I'm sure they're going to be coming up in this episode as well. Because this episode is all about welcoming the new year, the Midlife Unlimited Way, by bringing you collaboration over competition in action. Because today I'm delighted to be joined by my guest, Kath Cheng, mentor for Midlife Women and founder of Her Midway, to talk about how to celebrate your Midway. So welcome, Kath. It's fabulous to have you here and happy New Year.

SPEAKER_01: 1:53

Happy New Year to you too, Kate. Oh, I'm so excited for this.

SPEAKER_00: 1:58

Well, there may not be fireworks, but I think we're going to be having some sparks of inspiration because we are both on a shared mission, a midlife mission or a midway mission, aren't we? To start igniting, reigniting, and having a spark to our 50s, 40s onwards, definitely.

SPEAKER_01: 2:20

Yeah, you might say, Yeah, yeah, this is great. Yeah. Happy New Year, happy new year, and God, celebrations all around. I just feel great about being here and you're welcoming your listeners as well. We've got we've got a gift for them.

SPEAKER_00: 2:36

Oh no. We're gonna kick kick off 2026 in style, I think. Now, obviously, we talk a lot about the phrase midlife, but I like how you've said, well, yeah, midlife's great, but midway for you has got more meaning, hasn't it? It's got ex-explain why midlife speaks to you, why that sparks your soul.

SPEAKER_01: 2:59

I think why I started midway was because I when I entered midlife, I had this vision of midlife being a crisis, like many of us do. And um and I was like, oh god, you know, um, but I don't feel that way. I don't feel I didn't feel great, but I didn't feel like it was a crisis. I just felt fine. I think felt everything was okay. I but I felt that there was something more, and midlife crisis sort of felt like an ending, like there wasn't any more. And then so I want I tried shifting that perspective of things. Um, I did um I went on my own personal discovery um of what midlife meant to me, and I realized that there was so much more out there, and so I want to help me, I I was like thinking, well, what you know, how how can I to help me shift that perspective of midlife? I thought midway is the same meaning. Midlife and midway still it has very similar meanings, but mid midlife seems like a dead end, while midway seems to be seems to open a gateway to more. And so I I don't know, I played with it, it didn't come straight away, but you know, I played with words and and I'm all about analogies and you know, and you know, pictures of words, you know, when you say things, you've we always have a picture in our mind. And when you say midlife, midlife crisis, it's like, oh god, but midway, don't you feel it has a different vision?

SPEAKER_00: 4:33

There is a way. No, I'm completely I say I'm newspaper editor, I love the power of words. All my coaching revolves around rethinking and and changing the way we speak to ourselves, and it's so interesting what you just said about midlife crisis because there are two things that spring to mind. First, it's another blinking label, and we're we're ripping off those labels, we're ripping, we're walking away from them, but also so often, it's changing a bit now, but so often it was like men were allowed to have a midlife. It was almost a rite of passage for men. But if women even considered having a midlife crisis, it was seen as a weakness. Whereas men, it's like, oh yeah, he's having a midlife crisis and he's but he's going off and buying a sports car or whatever. If women were having a midlife crisis, she was sliding away, feeling invisible, feeling like even if she felt pretty good before, she was feeling pretty awful now. But another thing that springs to mind as well from what you just said is that you weren't feeling that sense of everything's terrible, it was just everything's okay.

SPEAKER_01: 5:38

Yeah, yeah. And some I think when everything's okay, we tend to stay in that pos, you know, place more likely to stay there because it's not bad enough for us to do anything. And I stayed in that place for I would say probably 10 years. I felt, yeah, and I was just yeah, settling and being comfortable, you know. But I thought being comfortable was safe, you know. As long as I'm safe, I'm okay, as long as I'm comfortable, and but what does that even mean? You know, it's like you know, nothing was bad, nothing was like familiar, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00: 6:12

It's it's familiar, yeah. And it only takes one thing to slightly shift as well, doesn't it? For us to start, and it may shift in a good way, it may shift in a bad way, and often it might be a shift that's beyond our control, but it just something can spark, can't it? That that thought of now we're gonna be delving more into top tips later on, but I say you you you've alluded to your story, and I'd like to find out more because obviously, like with me, and that's I think why we've hit it off so much, because sod it. I I'm not there's there's coaches, it's finding the right person for you. So we're not competition, we're actually there to support each other, and by having a joint mission and both talking about it, everyone benefits. Um, and it's all about sharing our story. And as I say, listeners will know that what I do and midlife unlimited has all been born from my own midlife metamorphosis, and it's true for you as well, isn't it? You had that not it's not even a sudden epiphany moment, it's that gradual, like something's not quite right. I don't really know what it is, but talk us back because I know your 50th birthday was a bit of a moment, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_01: 7:26

It was it. I mean, like, yeah, everything was okay, everything was fine, but there is that something does put we're on the edge, but there was that something, and the something was that moment when me and my husband we have our days off on Tuesdays, and we went for a walk by the sea. We're not we're in Newcastle, we went to down Whitley Bay, we usually have our walk down the promenade, we sit down with our cup of flask of coffee, and you know, and I was thinking, wow, you know, when I was we were just having our normal conversations, and I was saying to him, when when do we get more chance to do more of these, this, you know, having these moments and creating these memories? And you know, I didn't say all that, but I I was I just said, when do we get more time to do this? Um and he said, and he just sat there and thought, well, we've got another 10 years on the lease of the shop because we're working, we've got our own business. And he says, Yeah, so I think, yeah, probably another 10 years we'll retire. And my heart just sank because I'd already waited 10 years in my on my 40th, because this was just before my 50th. So in my 40s, I was already getting this feeling, but I always said, I'll wait, I'll wait until the kids get older, I'll wait until um we settle down a bit, we've got more money, you know, we're more comfortable.

SPEAKER_00: 8:48

It's that it's that goalpost, isn't it? It's constantly moving. And I love the fact you just used one of my favorite words, and I always start the show with this is the podcast for women who want more. And it is, isn't it? It's that thought of I want more of this and I want less of that. Yeah, and it's not even specific. Sometimes, I mean, sometimes you say to I say to a fabulous woman, what do you want? And she's like, I don't know. We don't know what I know what I don't want though. I don't want any of this. I'm sick to death of this. This is boring me to death, literally. This makes me feel uncomfortable. This is just meh. I I'm tired of feeling meh.

SPEAKER_01: 9:32

But that's that's the thing. I think when we think we don't know, then we just stay in that place, and and and we ex we think we should know, and I that's how I I shift that perspective. And when people work with me, I shift that perspective. We don't have to know, but we've got to ask the questions. Oh god, it's all about that, you know. Yeah, rather than stay in the not knowing and that uncertainty, right? That's not a reason to stay there, but keep asking those questions, and I think that's the joy of it, it's figuring out what we want and figuring out you know what that next chapter is, um, and not shy away from that unknown.

SPEAKER_00: 10:12

Yeah, no, absolutely, because the unknown it's it's coming for us, whether we want to do it or and hindsight is a wonderful, wonderful thing. And the only time we get certainty, 100% certainty, and I'm not the I'm not the first to say this, it's not something I've come up with, but is with hindsight. The only time we will ever, ever be certain of something is the aftermath, the retrospect. So, in order to start making mean, I am the queen of taking perfectly imperfect action, go for it. As you say, take those steps. And now, the beginning of the new year, let's because I've alluded to why I don't like New Year's resolutions, and I know you're with me. They don't work, they don't. I'm gonna have my mini round. They don't work because they are based on other people's thoughts, they're based on those shoulds, they're based on societal pressures. It's the old, especially just before Christmas, you're out somewhere, someone says to you, Oh, how are you, Kate? You look great, thank you very much. So do you. Oh, after Christmas, that kind of in-between time, that twixtmus, isn't it? Time. Yeah. Oh, you've got New Year's resolutions, and you suddenly go, Oh, yeah, I'm gonna learn German and I'm gonna run a marathon. Where did that come from? No idea. No, it's not. I'm all about me solutions. A, let's not start them on on the first of January because you're doomed to start, you know. Start them when they feel right, start them with small steps, and do what you actually want to do for you. Yeah, are you with me?

SPEAKER_01: 11:46

Yeah, totally. New Year's resolutions. I've I've realized it's uh a lot of the new year's resolutions. Think about it, they we know what to do. It's like if we want to lose weight, we know what to do. We've got to eat less, exercise more, and eat proper, you know, better, eat better.

SPEAKER_00: 12:02

Um, you know, just it's that we're we really are in that use it or lose it, aren't we? Whether it's muscle type, but yeah, everything. We need to really nurture ourselves and nourish ourselves.

SPEAKER_01: 12:15

Yeah, but when we set a new year's resolution, it's more like we're shaming ourselves because we need to lose that weight. We need to, you know, it's it's getting on the it's getting on them scales, you know. I want to or look up look a certain way. But I, you know, New Year's resolutions is I yeah, just stop doing them, stop doing them.

SPEAKER_00: 12:40

I find it really helpful as well, like you said, yeah, you say, right, I want to lose weight, or but to get the motivation rather than just saying, I want to lose five kilograms, ten kilograms, twenty kilograms, ask the why. Why do you want to do it? Because then you immediately start setting yourself this goal, breaking it down into manageable steps. Then you can actually seek advice from an expert or google it or whatever, and actually come up with a plan that works for us. Um, and by knowing the why, it's the why that drives everything. And the why, I guarantee it to you, the why won't be because so and so on YouTube said they did it and no, the why to fire us up to motivate us has to be I want to lose weight because I want to be able to go for an hour's walk every day, or because I want to do something for me, not I want to look sexy in a bikini on the beach because you're gonna be wearing that bikini anyway. Everyone put that male or female, wear that bikini.

SPEAKER_01: 13:42

Yeah, but I I end all I mean we do we do have to have goals. That that is that is a given.

SPEAKER_00: 13:49

But how I'm not set in stone either. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 13:52

But I think what what how I work it is having a vision, like a big dream. That's what changed it for me. I don't know about anyone else, but for me, you're very visual because some people are visual, some people are having, yeah, having a vision vision. But I know it's hard for us to have that vision. When I say vision, it doesn't have to be necessarily I can see it, but having it's a forward, it's like seeing into the future. What do we want in 10 years? What is that bigger, what's that big, what is that bigger goal? Um, and that goal, you don't have to know how to get it. And and that, but you when you when you mention it, because news resolutions, that energy, it's it's not a great energy, is it? When as soon as you say news resolutions, it's already got that um down, you know, that negative feeling. Um, you're already thinking, am I gonna do it? And but this vision is more about having that bigger goal. What is it that you want in 10 years' time? You know, how do you want to feel in 10 years' time? It's that feeling, where you want to be, who do you want to be with, that sort of, you know, it's that bigger goal.

SPEAKER_00: 15:00

Because then you can start and and then you trick the brain, you trick your brain into starting to think, well, actually, how will I how would I feel if I had this? And then you actually, it's like thinking of a lemon and your mouth starts to salivate. You you your emotions are triggered, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 15:21

Yeah, and then you work backwards from from that big vision, big goal, and then sort of say, Well, okay, in order to um, you know, achieve that, what do I need to do this year? And then I look I love breaking them down further, you know. What do I need to do? Yeah, chunking it down, and then that's your goals rather than I want to lose weight, you know. But like you say, it at the end of the day, why do we want to lose weight and look and feel good? I mean, for me, I I went down that route. I want to lose weight, you know. But then I realized it's because I want to grow older and be and have this good quality of life, be fit and healthy and oh, that's why I said about you know, wanting to go for longer walks.

SPEAKER_00: 16:04

Yeah, yeah. We're using the example weight. We we could transpose that to learning German or or riding a motorbike like our wonderful uh uh Adela in a previous episode. You know, just just that dream, it's making it possible, isn't it? It it's breathing new life into something that you've put on that back burner in that and it's now in a crusty old pan, and it's a matter of scraping it out, thinking, oh, if if I add a bit of sprinkle some sparkle to that, we can actually make a nice something out of it. Yeah, and often as well, uh we by staying rigid, and that's that's so often where the whole failure thing comes about. Because I've said it before, I'll say it again. Failure just basically means what we expected or thought was going to happen, what we wanted to happen, didn't happen. The outcome we wanted, we didn't get. Sometimes it's due to an outside force, but you're not not, I don't mean I don't mean a mystical force, something happened outside our control, or it was something that we didn't bloody do. We we we missed the boat, we we didn't. There was something that we weren't prepared enough, we didn't we didn't foresee, not our fault, but that that is what failure basically is the the outcome we thought we were going to get, we didn't get. Yeah, expectations, yeah, yeah. And we can we can it's not the end of the world. It literally, most of the time, it's not a life and death situation. We can recalibrate, we can rethink, we can actually go, well, the worst thing we can do is just keep trying to do the same thing and again and again and again, because that ain't gonna work.

SPEAKER_01: 17:46

Yeah, or the way I yeah, no, you go. Yeah, no, I was gonna say the way I would reframe that when you say about expectations, um, it didn't go how we planned. The way I sort of shift my my mindset on that is sort of, well, maybe there's a better plan, you know, there's a better outcome that I hadn't foreseen.

SPEAKER_00: 18:07

No, absolutely, because nine times out of ten, you can actually make a what's happened now, if you look at it as in not this is a failure, but this is oh, actually, I hadn't even thought this might occur. Yeah, and that stops you looking at it in the negative light, and you start looking for the positive, you know, you find that golden line. I mean, these are phrases I know, listeners, they're churned around, but they do blinking work, and that's what it's the old oxygen mask, it's the half glass full, empty. Yeah, sadly, these phrases are being overused, and it is, you know, it is nice. I say both Kath and I love the power of words, and we like changing the words that we use about ourselves, about the situations we're in. So that's why I'm loving the idea of introducing midway because, yeah, doorway, pathway, our way. I'm all about doing it our way.

SPEAKER_01: 18:57

Yeah, so yeah, yeah, definitely. And and what I see is like more when you go through that, we're always a lot of us are standing at that doorway, and we dared step over into our midway because we don't know. But what if when you step over that threshold, there's more possibilities, there's you know, and we want more passion, more purpose. If we step over, just take that first step, that could be what's ahead of us, you know. It's just stepping over that doorway, but we always we, you know, a lot of us stand, stay there behind that door.

SPEAKER_00: 19:33

We literally have this in it's like an invisible wall of made up of what ifs, you know. But it from the up, if we don't step through it, it's like it's like, would you rather think about the what ifs or the or the if-onies? Because they both involve the word if. And I know I'd much rather be as prepared as I can be, I'd get to that 51% and then make that step. And if it goes. I'll find another way. What is the worst that can happen? I'm a huge believer in what is the worst that can happen. And rather than the old me that used to catastrophise all the time, I used to overthink. Now I still catastrophise, but put I call it positive catastrophizing because I use it as part of my whole planning thing. Because as you say, if you literally do say what's the worst that can happen, if you think what is the worst that could happen, and if you think, well, if that happened, what would I do? You sorted. You figure it out. If a crocodile came along, I would do this. Sorry, I'm sounding flippant. I'm I'm not trying to make light of things, but it works, it really does. To the point that you can actually make yourself think, hang on a minute, Kate. Really? Am I really, am I really overthinking to that extent that I think that might happen?

SPEAKER_01: 21:03

Yeah. And the worst thing is having regrets when when you know you're, you know, a lot of us, we you must have read that people when they're dying, their their biggest regret is not having tried something. Um, you know, that would be the worst. And that that's how I picture it as well. You know, at least, you know, I tried something. Um, you know, I didn't shrink back, and um, yeah, that's no, no, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00: 21:30

I mean, part of my metamorphosis, you know, I've I've not been a great person, I've not been a terrible person, but I've not been a great person. But I could I could spend time now, the metamorphosized me. I wish I didn't I hadn't done that. I wish I hadn't done that. Well, what's the point of that? What is the point of that? I did it, it's done.

SPEAKER_01: 21:51

Why you've learned you've learned from that, and it's brought you here.

SPEAKER_00: 21:57

Absolutely, and I'm here now, yeah. So why waste one nanosecond of the precious time I've got left here? Because I'm a believer, you're only here once. Yeah, why waste any more of the time I've got here? Yeah, thinking back to what I shoulda, coulda, would have done then? No, think what I can do now going forward.

SPEAKER_01: 22:20

But also, I would acknowledge that past because you know it's oh I'm not hiding I don't hide from it. No, no, I'm very upset. Yeah, a lot of people like regret and you know, but don't have regrets, even in when you've done, you know, like you say, you've not been a great person, but you know, but now it's if you hadn't gone through that journey, it wouldn't have brought you here and been it wouldn't have made you so passionate about what you do as well.

SPEAKER_00: 22:47

No, absolutely can't stand the whole blame culture. I really am. Oh, it wasn't my fault. No, no, it was. Yeah, you have to because that's that is the one of the first lessons I learned in part of my metamorphosis. The whole thing of take responsibility for your own shit and deal with it. Don't try and palm it off to so on and don't make yourself reliant on other people either. Don't oh, if it wasn't for so and so, I would be able to do this. What what is it that they're doing that is stopping you from doing what you're letting? I mean, some yeah, yeah. I mean, it might you know this is this is way before Mel and the whole let them theory. No, I learned let let the judges judge. That is my midlife. I'm gonna be asking your midlife mantra in a bit, but mine has long been let the judges judge, let them get on with it, and then you think, well, I'm not actually that interesting. Half the time, they're not really judging me anyway. It's only our me, my own insecurity, thinking that they are because they're not, they're really not, they don't care about me at all. And if they do and they don't like me, I go on then.

SPEAKER_01: 24:03

So what? Yeah, they're not your people. They're not for me. Yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_00: 24:07

No, if you no, if you don't like me, if you don't like me.

SPEAKER_01: 24:10

I think we're too so worried about what people think of us, and and that keeps us, you know, staying stuck as well. Um, you know, not not moving forward. Oh, what will what will so and so think? Or maybe, you know, who do it who do that who do I think I am, you know, that sort of thing. Oh, that's yeah, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 24:28

Who does she think she is? Oh, who does she think she is to be doing that?

SPEAKER_01: 24:33

Yeah. Oh, I love that word. Fabulous, that's you can't you must.

SPEAKER_00: 24:42

Yes. So no, I I think then I think we should start manoeuvring ourselves into your tips because I think that obviously they're all woven into your own experience and what you do now and how you work with amazing women. So we're here talking about how to celebrate our midway. So, what would the starting point? I don't know, as you said, you know, taking those steps. What what would your first top tip for this first of January be?

SPEAKER_01: 25:11

Okay, I know I know a lot of a lot of women in midlife who who don't move forward is because they don't know what they want. And so my midway activation code, it's it's these steps to take in figuring out what that is, and don't expect it just to come just like that. It's you've got to take these, take steps. And the first step I would say is get curious about yourself, get curious about what it is that lights you up, and you know, it's asking those questions. What do I want? You you you instead of saying, I don't know what I want, say what do I want? And then when you go about your day, just asking that question, you'll start noticing, oh, I like that, or oh, I I want more of that, and and start doing more of what you enjoy. That's how I started. I didn't know. I mean, I think when I when I started this journey probably 10 years ago, I tried to start sort of thinking what can I do? Um, I just picked up my book. I stopped reading when I had kids, and I stopped, and I used to love reading books, but when I had kids, I used to read, couldn't read the past the first page because I fell asleep and it gave me neckache. You know, I came yeah, so I thought, right, I'm gonna give that. Yeah, and I gave that up. And then when the kids got older, I did start picking up a book, um, started reading novels, but then I picked up a biography, and that led me to um it was about it was um David Goggins. Um, I can't remember the title now. David Goggins, he's he's it's a he's a navy SEAL guy, and he just went, you know, went full throttle doing hard things, and I thought it's it was about mindset, and I thought, okay, and I never I I just read novels before, and I started then I started picking up self-help books as we call them, you know. Oh, absolutely, yeah, and I thought, wow, and I just dove in, and that's how this all started. But just getting curious, I didn't know I was going to start reading about mindset and all that stuff, but I started reading, that was my first step, picking up a book.

SPEAKER_00: 27:23

Um I love that. I love it. So get curious about what it is. Well, I think it is. I mean, I I I talk a lot about unleashing our childlike curiosity because we've had it not necessarily beaten out of us, but as you say, we we're so used to putting ourselves. I'll I'll talk about the back burner again, but we kind of we and then we forget really, and I love it, like you just said, it's following the dots, isn't it? Or the old domino effect, joining the dots, and you start to do one thing and you think, oh yeah, actually, and then that makes you think, oh, I could do this, or or you read another book that has another idea, or you have a conversation with someone about it, and I just love, love, love, and I think now as well, I find very much. I mean, my my partner and my son say I could talk to anyone about anything, um, but the conversations that we have now, because that fear of judgment, once we step away from that, it just opens up the floodgates for fabulous conversations about a myriad of things, and lifting the lid on taboos. I mean, and that's how well why Midlife Unlimited was born, because so often we don't talk about the things that are bothering us or the things that matter to us because we think no one else is going to be interested.

SPEAKER_01: 28:41

Yeah, totally. So, yeah, have have those conversations, ask those questions, and yeah, the more you start getting curious, um, that's it'll start opening doors. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 28:53

Love that, love that. Oh, I'm feeling motivated already, right? So, what once once we've started sparking this curiosity, what what what we're gonna do with it?

SPEAKER_01: 29:04

I say be courageous. Uh be courageous as in challenging yourself. So when I started on this journey, I I I was blogging, I was writing my own blog, but no one was seeing it. So I was thinking, well, what can I do? I you know, I want I have a message that I want to share. And um, and the message was, you know, about being ageless with Kath. Um and it was um at the time Facebook groups were face going going live on Facebook was the thing. That was how you would you had you you could get seen. And I'd never been on social media. I'd never I mean my social media was Facebook to um connect with my family and family that uh were abroad. That's all I used um social media for. But I was thinking, right, same as same as me initially. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Turning 50, I I always my my thing when I turned 50 was to challenge myself. Um every you know, anything that came up, challenge myself, do it. So I went live um on Facebook, and it wasn't great, but I did it. And the more I did it, you know, other opportunities started appearing. Create your own Facebook group, you know, do do this, do a course, do do that. So it just challenging myself, being courageous, one taking that one step of action, it sort of then opens up other opportunities, and you know, you start seeing more opportunities ahead of you. So just challenging yourself and be being courageous and taking that bold move. That's my next activate and activation code.

SPEAKER_00: 30:47

No, I love that, I love that because I say it's not gonna be perfect, we know that, but it's done, and then it leads to other things, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_01: 30:56

Yeah, yeah. And then so my third tip would be to be decisive, whatever whatever step it is you're gonna do, just decide. So I decided that my decision was just that I'm going to take my next step, whatever it is, I'm gonna just do it. Take be decisive, commit to it, and this is this is what has led me here, really. Um yeah, just to be bold and be decisive and take make when you make a decision, go with it. Um instead of dillying, dallying, and you know how people like am I shall I, shan't I? When you when you when you when you know when that opportunity comes, just do it. Um that's that's another it's another um just mantra. Well, I wouldn't say it's a mantra, but for me, I've got other mantras, but that's yeah, that's my we're gonna we're gonna come to those in a minute.

SPEAKER_00: 31:54

No, I love that because as you say, the whole shall I shan't I, that is all based on judgment. But by doing it, by owning it, because accountability, I really believe, is one of the main foundations of because basically we're we're trying to we're trying to develop self-love, we're trying to love and unleash the woman we deserve to be, the woman that we've been stagnating, the woman that we've been stifling. And so by giving ourselves permission to be who we want to be, to want more, to get more, we have to be accountable to ourselves, don't we? And yes, getting cheerleaders like we cheerlead each other, and you know, getting a can be joining a community of like-minded, bloody fabulous women is a wonderful, wonderful way to keep the momentum going and to spark ideas off each other. But I think, yeah, accountability to yourself is so important.

SPEAKER_01: 32:54

Yeah. I mean, just like when you say about that connection, um, you know, collaboration and connection, that is so important because I used to think I could do it on my own, but no, this is not meant to be a journey that you do, you know, you you do on your own. The this experience I've had since um turning 50, um, meeting meeting people who are like, you know, I I don't like using like-minded a lot, but it does actually apply here that you know we are on the same, we're on the same wavelength, we're on the same page, you know, like meeting people. We get each other. Yeah, we get each other. Exactly. If I hadn't taken that step onto this journey, I wouldn't be here on a podcast with you. And if you asked me a year ago, maybe actually two years ago, I'd be on a podcast with you, you know. No, if you told me that I would be on a podcast with Kate in two two years' time, two years ago, I would be like, shut up. That don't. I mean, I know it wouldn't have existed, but it's just these these steps. We just don't know what these steps are, but it's about knowing what the next step is. That's all we need to do. We don't have to have a plan. Um, you know, we think a lot of the time we think we should have a plan um to move forward, and that's why we don't move forward, but we don't, as long as we have a rough idea, that vision of what we want, um, then take that next step. Only then can you see the next step forward. Um, it's I love using the analogy of the building where you know, when you go up a high story building, um, when you're on the ground floor, you can't see what's up there. You have to take the next step in order to, you know, and then the next step, and then the next step, you know. And but if you stay down there, you're never gonna see what's up in the high, you know, the penthouse suite.

SPEAKER_00: 34:44

Yeah. Absolutely. Oh, I I love that. I know, I think that's brilliant. There's brilliant activation code steps, absolutely, and I I would add looking ahead to this year, what whatever plans our conversation has has sparked for you listeners. My other bit of advice would be enjoy, enjoy it, have fun, celebrate those small steps, enjoy the journey. Because so often, especially all over social media, it's like, oh, it's not the journey, it's the destination. Bugger off, it's the journey, because the destination can change, but if we don't enjoy the journey, what's the point? You arrive at the destination and then what?

SPEAKER_01: 35:28

Yeah, I know embrace it. I do, as I do say, embrace embrace midlife, you know, embrace the journey. Um, I used to think all these phrases were woo-woo, you know, and I thought, oh, what's all that about? But it's so true. You've got to embrace the journey.

SPEAKER_00: 35:43

But it but it's tough, it's difficult though, isn't it now? Because sadly, it might just be the world that we're we're working in, the world that we evolve in, um, not evolving, you know what I mean, the world we're in, that they seem to be used again and again to the point of losing their meaning. And I hope that's not the case because when we use them, I mean them in a very genuine, heartfelt way. Um, but uh, oh, I'm loving this. I'm loving this. Now, obviously, we're going to be sharing your contact details um in a bit, and also all your uh connection links are in the show notes for our episode, and you've got your lovely guest profile on the Midlife Unlimited podcast website. But before we do, we're going to shift from your top tips, I think, into the same three questions that I ask each of my fabulous female guests. And I'm delighted we're going to be kick starting 2026. Kath, you are the first to give your answers of this new year, this wonderful new year. So, drum roll, please. First question is, and is it gonna be a banger? What is your midlife anthem?

SPEAKER_01: 36:58

My midlife anthem is This Is Me. But you know, from the greater showman, yeah, absolutely. That moment where we stop hiding, we stop apologizing, stop shrinking. I think it's so appropriate for all the midlife women out here. Um, you know, look out, here I come. That's what she says, sings in that song. Yeah, so totally. This is me standing in your truth, self-acceptance, you know, see me as me. Yeah, as we say, and owning it.

SPEAKER_00: 37:29

Yeah, not not just not just saying this is me, but going, this is me, deal with it. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_01: 37:35

Self-acceptance, yeah. Here I come.

SPEAKER_00: 37:38

Absolutely fabulous. Now, love that, and leading into your second question. You've you've alluded to a couple of mantras, but you don't have you don't have to choose one. I always say you you can and if there's a story, how you've arrived at it, all the better. What is your midlife mantra?

SPEAKER_01: 37:56

Well, it's got to be to do with midway. So it's midlife isn't the end, it's only midway. It's a gateway for more passion, more purpose, and more possibility.

unknown: 38:10

Yeah, love that.

SPEAKER_00: 38:12

We love more, yeah, more of the things we want. More totally. Well, I actually my my group programme that I haven't run for a while, actually. I must run it again. It's called More Exclamation. Yeah, is it?

SPEAKER_01: 38:26

You need to do that, Kate. You need to do that.

SPEAKER_00: 38:28

Yeah, I need to I need to get it. It's my award winning group programme. Well, I've been life, life has been lifing. Anyone who wants to find out more about more, drop me a DM. We'll get we'll get that sorted out. Uh yes. So before before I go completely down the little rabbit hole, third question. And I uh is it being written? Is it coming this year? I've got a book that's going to be coming out this year, so watch this space. I'm quite excited about that. What is the title of your autobiography?

SPEAKER_01: 39:01

It would be called I waited until I didn't. And that moment changed everything.

SPEAKER_00: 39:10

Oh like that. A little bit deep. Nice.

SPEAKER_01: 39:13

Yeah. Because I did. I waited. Yeah, I waited a long time.

SPEAKER_00: 39:19

And then you think, what was I waiting for? Yeah, exactly. Because it didn't come. Whatever you were waiting for, yeah. I'm guessing it you still you could still be sitting there waiting.

SPEAKER_01: 39:30

Exactly. I'm still nothing has changed on the outside, um, just all on the inside. Um, well, apart from obviously the this work that I'm doing, but my still my husband's we still have our business, the kids are still around, you know, there's nothing nothing's changed. I have they're still they're still here. I want to they're still living at home. So, you know, I could be still waiting another 10 years for waiting for them to leave home before I start doing it.

SPEAKER_00: 39:55

Well, I'm very glad you didn't. I'm very glad you didn't, and I think so many. The listeners would be very glad you didn't because they'll be wanting to get in touch. See, see, I do like a segue, they'll be wanting to get in touch with you. Now, I said all your details are in the show notes for our episode and on your guest profile on the Midlife Unlimited podcast, the link to which is in the show notes. But just verbally, can you direct listeners how they can get in contact with you, please?

SPEAKER_01: 40:25

Yeah, it's my Linktree link, which is Caf Cheng, just Caf Cheng. So, yeah, and you'll find um resources in there. I do a free 20-minute coffee chat. Um, there's a masterclass coming up, so you'll find all it's all in that one place. You'll find everything under there.

SPEAKER_00: 40:41

Keep it simple. I love that. I love that. And listeners, I would love your feedback on the first midlife unlimited episode of 2026. So you could leave a review or send me an email or text via the link in the show notes. Um, come and join the Midlife Unlimited podcast Facebook group. Caffs in there. Again, links in the show notes where you'll find the website link with details of my uh VIP Midlife Metamorphosis coaching. Uh, I'll have to put the details about more, I'll get that up and running again. Um, and for all you budding experts who want to transform from nervous podcast guest wannabe to the expert that all the podcast hosts want on their show. Come along, join me. Let's pop your podcast cherry with a one-to-one. So, again, links to that are in there. Uh so thank you for joining me, Kat. I've loved what a way to start the new year. And thank you for listening. Uh, I look forward to tuning in next week because don't forget Midlife Unlimited has a new episode every Thursday available wherever you listen to your podcasts. So here's to being fabulous and flourishing together in 2026 and beyond, and to living midlife unlimited. Thanks, Kath. It's been brilliant.

SPEAKER_01: 42:03

Thank you. Bye.

SPEAKER_00: 42:05

Bye.