How to Navigate the Longevity Revolution with Guest Wendy Garcarz

I've got something a bit different for you this episode. Midlife Unlimited is all about pushing boundaries and shaking things up, so I'm delighted to welcome back the wonderful Wendy Garcarz for today's special report where we discuss the Longevity economy and the challenges and changes this is bringing to how we live, work, earn, care, create and contribute as we rethink the concept of "ageing", we catch up on Refirement one year on... and Wendy has a rather exciting announcement too! 

Connect with Wendy

https://www.refirement.biz/

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:02

Welcome to Midlife Unlimited, the podcast for women who want more. I'm your host, Kate Porter, the Midlife Metamorphosis coach. And I know what it's like to feel stuck navigating the midlife maze. I've looked in the mirror and thought, who is that woman? So Midlife Unlimited is here to let you know you are not alone. You don't have to put on a brave face and put up with it. You don't have to play it safe. Midlife Unlimited is all about ripping off that mask and telling midlife how it really is. Nothing is off limits because together there's no limit to what we can achieve. So welcome to today's episode. And I've got something rather different for you today. Because as you know, Midlife Unlimited is all about pushing boundaries and shaking things up. The odd little surprise thrown in and maybe a bit of misbehaving. So I am delighted to welcome back the wonderful Wendy Garkas, author, futurist, podcaster, and disruptor. Ha ha. And as part of that disruption, founder of Ret Refinement, even I always get that wrong. Apologies, apologies. Today's special report episode. So welcome, Wendy. It's wonderful to have you here. Kate, it's absolutely fabulous to be back.

SPEAKER_01 1:26

Thank you very much indeed for talking to me today.

SPEAKER_00 1:29

Well, but before I go on about it's a year since you were first on January the 16th last year. Um we were just saying, what a year. What a year. You said it's gold in a blink. I said I'm not so sure. But my stumble, I'm not going to edit that out because a lot of people will still be seeing stuff about refinement and thinking, is that a typo? What on earth? I mean, I'm an ambassador, I'm so proud to be. So I brought you back on to catch up with refinement, which is obviously about reimagining retirement and putting your teeth in, Kate. But we're also going to be talking about the longevity economy. Um, and you've got something rather exciting, and it's very timely this episode. So we'll be delving into that. What a year, as I just said. Referment. How have you felt about the past year? A whirlwind, I think.

SPEAKER_01 2:28

Oh gosh, absolutely, Kate. It's just been phenomenal. Um, it started really in um in March when we launched, formally launched the website. And and as you know, um, and and your listeners may uh remember, it started from an idea. We did a piece of research that uncovered all of the ridiculous boundaries and stereotypes and limiting beliefs that later life female entrepreneurs have to have to navigate. Um, and on the back of that, I did a TED talk, and on the back of that, we launched the the movement. Um, and I can't believe it's essentially it's been a year since we uh we first started to think about it. But what the year has done is at every turn it's reinforced the fact that the research was right, we are very often overlooked, we're very often discriminated against. It's much more difficult to get a business off the ground or to scale a business after you're 55. Um, and and yet there is no reason for that because all of the evidence says that we are a safer, better bet to run successful businesses at our age with our experience and our track records. So it doesn't make any sense. And you know what I like, guys? If it doesn't make sense, I can't shut up and sit on the sidelines to question it.

SPEAKER_00 3:55

Absolutely, and what I love as well is the timing because, and this is a phrase I've poached this, my son's used it before, but I think it's fabulous. A cultural zeitgeist moment because I don't think it's just the bubble that I live in. It is, we are saying we are here, we're not apologizing anymore, we're not gonna sit quietly in the corner. We are proud of our experience. We're proud, in my case, of our grey hair, we're proud of our wrinkles, we're not old, we're older maybe than other people that we might be competing with, but we have got so much to offer, and we are sick of the old hiding it under bushel. No, no, no, no, no bushels, no hiding. Let's pat ourselves on the back. And what you've done as well is you brought another of my favorite things in the world, cheerleading into it, because it is all about knowing that other people have got your backs, and it's not just women. I mean, obviously, it started as a idea for women, but you've got chaps are involved with the chapters. We've got chaps, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:58

Yeah, we've got chaps who are part of what we do. We absolutely have. Uh, I mean, it was really interesting because um we uh with my futurist hat on um earlier this year, I did a piece of research on on the back really of setting up the movement and just trying to see whether this was a global shift. And there is no doubt in my mind, we are coming into um the longevity uh decade, and and we've had other decades before, you know, the last decade was the menopause decade, and everybody was talking about it. Oh, yeah. Um and and it was great because it it took a an issue that loads of people have been struggling with and it shone a light on it. But with all of the research that I've done looking at market trends and everything, the next decade or or maybe even two decades um in the future is going to be um all around longevity, and it is so important it is a global shift because people are living longer, and the reality is our societies are not set up for it. We've got systems that actively work against an aging population, which is nonsense if the majority of your population is going to be aging by 2030. So I'll add into that as well.

SPEAKER_00 6:13

I mean, I'm lucky enough, hopefully, still at the time of recording, our parents are aging more as well in a lot of circumstances. So the whole sandwich education, yeah, and I saw an interesting article, I think it was in The Guardian the other day, um, well, at the time of recording, talking about a decline almost in empty nesting. Now I know the whole idea of kids coming back has been you know, interest rates going down, it might change again. But our whole idea of not only are we sandwiched, but this sandwich is gonna last longer and longer and longer.

SPEAKER_01 6:47

I mean, this is why it is, it's it's a societal shift because you know, the old sort of norm, as it were. I don't like to use that word because what is normal, yeah. I know what you mean.

SPEAKER_00 7:00

The media, the median, the average.

SPEAKER_01 7:03

Yeah, the sort of yeah, the sort of normal experience is that the you know, you raised your kids until they were in their early twenties, and then they were able to go out and find a place of their own and uh and start.

SPEAKER_00 7:14

That's exactly what's happened with me just before, you know, well, September time last year. My son, after the empty nesting, he then came home briefly while he found himself at a permanent job in London, moved up to London with his girlfriend.

SPEAKER_01 7:27

It's that's and that that used to be the pattern. What we're seeing increasingly is that in some family households their kids are staying with them until they're in their 30s because they can't get on the property ladder, they're finding it difficult, even if they're going out renting, renting property is so expensive, they're not being able to do it.

SPEAKER_00 7:48

Crazy, and it's not, I mean, it starts now. They start the thing is the students are getting used to now the rents being so wateringly high. Um, and I don't think it's just the top university cities, I think, and towns. I think it is across, from my understanding, across the board. So it's almost normalized now. These poor young, they're not kids, you know, in their 20s, yeah, they're almost accepting the fact that it's going to be at least one and a half, almost two thousand pounds a month, just aren't that's before you buy a packet of cup of you know, biscuits and a cup of tea, before you pay any bills. But I know we're digressing a a little bit from longevity, but I think it is important.

SPEAKER_01 8:34

But but uh it is in Cape because it's part of that collage that you look at. So the impact that that has it has an impact on the kids. If they can't find a place and they're stuck at home with mum and dad, that has a that has an impact. But it has an impact on the parents because for you know, for many people, they would say they look forward to their later life, they can retire, they can go off and do whatever they want to, if that's their bag. But the reality is that isn't the way that the picture looks now, and that home uh the you know the family home is still filled. So this idea that you could let go of it and you could go off and you could chase your dreams and follow.

SPEAKER_00 9:12

Whole downsizing, isn't it? You know, oh we'll get to our late 60s and we'll we'll sell up the family home because no one needs it anymore, and off we'll go. We'll go down to Cornwall or we'll go around the world. No, you can't if you still need the bedrooms, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:25

And and within the longevity uh economy, you've you've got people who are having to stay economically active for a lot longer because costs are going up, maybe investments aren't paying off, maybe pensions are being um stretched to the limit because we're living a lot longer than we expected to. Um, and so we're living, you know, on average 10 or 20 years beyond where we used to, just a generation ago. And that brings with it a whole new rank of challenges for people. So lots of women in particular are deciding that actually they've done their bit about looking after everybody else. Now is their time. And they are wanting to start enterprises, um, only to find that the door is closed to you to open a business bank account if you go with a high straight bank because it's done by algorithm and they see your age and they write you off as worthless. Um, you know, you can't get a business loan for the same reason. If you want investment in a business significance investment, they look at you, look at your age, they won't, they won't give you a fair crack. So, what we're trying to do is we're trying to find ways around. We're doing what women always do. You show us a barrier, we'll find a way around it. And so these things, these characteristics are changing the way society functions, it's having a fundamental shift, and that's what the longevity economy is about. We are, you know, people 50 plus will represent the largest wealthiest group in in the next decade, and and women will form a really big part of that. We'll we will control a lot of the world's wealth, and that will change as well because when we spend money, we do it differently to men. Oh, yeah. You know, our priorities are different, we spend money differently, we're more likely to use it to grow economies rather than to grow personal wealth. Um, we we collaborate much more easily.

SPEAKER_00 11:23

Um, you know, it we are looking at and that's something I've noticed far more the older we get, because that whole feeling of competitor, competitor, oh my god, I can't tell her what I'm doing because she'll steal my idea. That whole in our wisdom, in our our sageness, in our fabulousness, we're actually realizing now that connecting those dots and and working together can reap rewards for everyone involved.

SPEAKER_01 11:53

Hugely. And I think that there is a realization that the business world is big enough for everybody to take their lives. So this you know, outdated idea, competitiveness, which is essentially driven by testosterone, um, is actually an outdated concept. And I'm looking around in the work that I do at the most fabulous collaborations where we are looking at coming together, working together, and adding even more value into what we're doing, and it's making a really seismic shift in the way that later life female entrepreneurs are working and showing up every day.

SPEAKER_00 12:36

And another thing that's just sprung to mind, it's it's something I face a lot in my coaching, particularly one-to-one, is when a woman is feeling I I'll use the word stuck, she's thinking, is this bloody it? Is is this really all all I'm gonna achieve? Is this all I'm good for? And it takes someone, either a coach like me or a mate or a relative, to actually say, Well, hang on a minute, have you forgotten that you're really good at doing this? Or have you have you not thought about when you did that? That showed you were able to do the the the the the but we get I don't know if it's tunnel vision, we're so used to that old back burner, we're so used to playing down what we do again, oh it was nothing. I mean, how often have you said, Oh, it was nothing, you know, oh I did it while I was doing 40 other things at the same time. I mean, even in my drinking days, I was the best juggler in the world. You just you just do, don't you? I always heard the phrase, you know, if you want something doing, ask a busy person. Without a doubt, yeah. Yeah. So I think now, in these wonderful years, these years of reawakening, of just realization, um, we're digging up, we're we're uncovering things with the help of each other, aren't we?

SPEAKER_01 13:54

We certainly are. I mean, I think that midlife is no longer a time for winding down. I think it's a second adulthood, and I think it's one that has got so many opportunities and so many freedoms, and and it's sort of old-way thinking that holds us in the pattern of where we are. Um, and and we need to break out of that. And I think one of the big things will be that many people who are navigating those challenges will seek out coaches because some of these transitions are so big and it feels so complex that you will need help navigating that complexity. And and if you think about it, it's all of this sort of longevity challenge brings with it the need to rethink our identity because that shifts considerably. We have purpose. Well, we need to reinvent ourselves in order to follow that purpose. Um, we might have health issues, we might have energy shifts, we might have physical problems that are created because bodies age. So we need to find ways of making sure that if we're living longer, we're aging better, and and we have got the wherewithal to be able to do what we want to do. But also a big part of this case is that relationships and roles evolve. I did a um I responded to a post this morning um about uh a woman who was supporting her father who has lost his partner, he's um in his early 60s, and she said he's turned from this really vibrant, outgoing man to somebody who just sits at home and watches afternoon telling. He's lost his form of the line. Absolutely. Now that is a navigation, a big transition. He's still young, he's still vibrant, he's still got uh uh money that he can he can enjoy. Um, he's just lost the judge to do that, and you can't, it's difficult if you've got family members that are like that. Sometimes you see their pain, but you're not the best person to help them. They need somebody independent that they can talk to about this sort of stuff, and really that's where those coaches come in to give that objective view and help people refocus their lives to deal with all of those changes, but to realise that it's just another phase in your life and it doesn't have to be any less exciting or or enjoyable, in fact, it can be more so because you understand how those changes affect you, um, and you can start to set a new set of rules for yourself. That's what it's about.

SPEAKER_00 16:42

Yeah, no, absolutely, because obviously, in my years of coaching, that has been a stumbling block blur block that I've found in terms of the women that really need to be working with coaches like me to help them navigate this pivotal time of life. Are the very women that really either don't really understand what coaching, life coaching is all about, because it's in, I mean, obviously, I'm based in the UK, so are you? It's it's not as big here as in the States, for example. And there is still an element of perhaps shame. I don't know if that's quite the right word, but feeling asking for help is like, oh my goodness, does that mean that I can't cope? I mean, I I think whereas life coaching is such a positive thing, it's about looking forward, it's not it's not about dredging up pain from the past, it's about thinking, right, where can we go from here? So I'm delighted. Yeah, I'm delighted that we're gonna be talking about your new thing in a minute, but I'm so supportive of it because it just it's gonna help me, it's gonna help the people that are training with you and obviously the people that are benefiting from the skills.

SPEAKER_01 17:50

So I I agree with that, and I would say that you just picking up on one point, you talked about the fact that we're we're frightened or we feel guilty about asking for help. Well, sometimes what we don't realise is the strength of social conditioning. So, social conditioning means that women are trained right from a really, really early age. I mean, I'm talking, you know, single figures, um, to be the carers for everybody else and to just get on and do it, not complain about it, just get on and do it. And so there is, we are hardwired to believe that we can't ask for help. It's not that we feel guilty about it, we just feel we're hardwired we can't do that. It's not in our experience, and and it's that misnomer, it's that falsehood that has kept us where we are for so many generations. And thank heavens we're starting to throw that mantle off, and we're starting to say, if I want my life to look different, I might not be able to do this on my own. Who is the best person that can help me do that?

SPEAKER_00 18:56

Yeah, and I think another thing as well is women will go, oh yeah, right, I need to invest in a business coach, I need to invest in a health coach, but but taking it wider than that and just investing in you and getting to the bottom of what it is, yeah, what it is that you want now, what you don't want now, and how you're going to get it, is something they think, well no, I'm not going to invest, I can't invest in that because I need to do these other things. They don't understand that by investing in this first, it will have the domino effect and everything else will fall into place. You'll you'll have the energy to do run your business better. You'll want to do things that improve your health and your well-being and your I won't say sound, but you know, all these other things just ripple, it's a ripple effect.

SPEAKER_01 19:44

And that ripple effect, what they really don't realize is one of the what that some of the people who benefit most from from coaching of this nature are the families that wrap around them. The families benefit hugely. Um, sometimes it it's a bit difficult to take. I uh talking to a lady who'd been through this process recently, and I said, What's the biggest change that you've noticed? And she said, Um, my family now are trying to rein me in. And they keep saying to me, should you be doing that at your age? Because she's smashing the stereotype that exists within her family. Um, what she's saying is um that it's making them question their role because they're used to saying, you know, hang on, when you get to 80, shouldn't we be looking after you? It's being the thinking. Now, this lady's 83, she still runs her own business, she goes off on cruises, um, you know, with friends and things. Um, and she's just uh she was uh considering whether to do um an Icelandic cruise to go to Iceland and uh and and have a look. And her family tried everything to not get her to do this, and it's not because she's not physically able, because clearly she is, um, but it was that it didn't fit within their narrative of what their 83-year-old mum should be doing. It's the old shoulds, isn't it? Yeah, it's it's madness, isn't it? And yet, for her point of view, she's now coming into a place where she's not limiting what she wants to do anymore uh because of other people's expectations. She's just saying, actually, if I want to do that and I'm capable of doing it, why shouldn't I? And I don't blame her.

SPEAKER_00 21:30

Ah, she's my kind of woman. She's my kind of woman. Well, we've teased, we we've dangled the carrot. Let's talk about what this actually is. So, drum roll, please.

SPEAKER_01 21:43

The name of your new coaching certificate is we are proud to launch the world's first ever longevity coaching certificate. Uh, refinement has put its money where its mouth is, and decided that because of the longevity age coming up, um, there needs to be a new modality. So we have pulled together uh using a blend of experts, academics, uh, existing theory, emergent theory, some of the work that we've done as researchers, and we've pulled together this fabulous program that is about what coaching looks like when you are dealing with people going through this longevity challenge, and we are so excited about it, Kate.

SPEAKER_00 22:34

Now we're coming out on the 8th of January. Um, and the reason for that is because tomorrow, now obviously, this won't be the last time people can find out more, but talk talk me through what's happening on the 9th of January and a bit more about the certificate as well.

SPEAKER_01 22:51

Okay, so on the 9th of January, we are running tomorrow. We are running an online session where any existing coach, so that can be uh uh a life coach, it can be health and well-being, um, it can be a mindset coach, um, any any sort of coaching that has uh a midlife coach, um any coaching that has got uh one-to-one work in it, uh, what we want to do is offer those existing coaches an opportunity to learn this new modality and add it to their toolkit, essentially. And the reason we want to do this is that because of the emergence of the longevity economy, we think that this is a growing market, and we think that there will be people who will start to look for this, and we want coaches that are trained in the complexity of all of this and are ready to help people work through that process. So the idea is the coaching certificate is um it's accredited, uh, it is over a six-month period. Um, and uh I'll I'll just go through the modules. Um the first module is about midlife transitions, and we in the refinement have created a longevity, what we call longevity lens, and what this is is it is a practical tool that looks at later lives uh through eight different facets, um, and it covers every aspect of your life, and it is a process where people can do an assessment of where they are, a projection about where they would like to be, and then some help in terms of how you construct a journey that gets you there. Um, and we cover all of that, including the associated theories that support that, psychological theories as well as practical theories, um, uh that support that that midlife state and the transitions that people experience. The second module that we're looking at then deals with identity and about how we deal with change as we get older and and some of the transition frameworks that coaches might be familiar with but might not be, and how we can utilize some of those tools to help people to really shape up where they want their their later life to go and what they want to do. There's a module on body, energy, and self-care, and this isn't the usual topics because you you know, if you want nutrition advice, there's plenty of stuff out there about that. What this is about is a shifting mindset about the fact that we need to be looking at this whole idea of health and well-being differently as we age, if we want our bodies to support us and last longer. So it's it's it there's really some quite key differences in there.

SPEAKER_00 25:47

And it is a big rethink at this time because when I talk a lot about the whole idea of it's use it or lose it now, yeah. It really is.

SPEAKER_01 25:54

Absolutely, absolutely. So we're going to be talking about things like strength and balance um and the importance of reflexes in in that equation. So it's a it's a different take, as you would expect us to do, because we're disruptors, so it's a different take. Um, there is a mindset and meaning um module that really takes people through that that very um demanding process of growth and purpose, and we're gonna be focusing um a lot of the time during that module on this whole idea of using the Japanese uh uh approach to life, search for purpose, which is iki. So we're gonna be looking at how you can uh understand that um that theory, that that model, and bring that into your coaching too. Uh, there's a module on relationships and roles and boundaries, and this is really key around how you manage some of those intimate relationships with partners, with with best friends, with children, with siblings, uh, with grandchildren, and um, and how you get the most out of that. And then the final module is really helping coaches to understand with all of that as the backdrop and the context, how can you help somebody to design a longevity life and look at all of these different um elements and bring them together in the most beautifully orchestrated melody as they move forward into their later life? So I can't tell you how excited we are.

SPEAKER_00 27:31

I'm excited, I'm excited. I mean, I'm so excited. Um obviously I'm part of refinement, which I love, but this is shaking things up, shaking things up. So nuts and nuts and bolts time. Obviously, the the masterclass of the event is tomorrow. Yes, time scale wise and and uh scarcity-wise, how many places? Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:52

Yeah, uh we we want we're starting the uh cohort at the end of January, so the end of this month, because it's the inaugural uh cohort. We are um we are starting with a very limited group, so there are only 10 places available. So if you want to be the first group that that uh uh that gains this award, um then there really are only 10 places. As a result of that, we've decided to launch it with a never-to-be repeated price. So the normal price for the program will be £3,200. That covers everything that you do, all of your online tutoring, your support, the um CPD portfolio that you get, the assessments, all of that. Um, but for this launch cohort only, uh it will the cost will be £1,600. Um, and that's really to make sure that you, as is it's the first programme, everybody gets everything that they need to be able to understand and to utilize the coaching qualification that they get at the end of it.

SPEAKER_00 29:01

I'm rather excited.

SPEAKER_01 29:02

So that's what we do.

SPEAKER_00 29:03

Yeah. Now, obviously, as we always do on Midlife Unlimited, one thing we are sticking to is at the end of our chat, you will be giving obviously all your details are on the show notes, all the links, etc. Um, but I will be asking you to give your contact details verbally as well. But uh, what are you what are you most excited about for this?

SPEAKER_01 29:24

I um I I'm a futurist and I've always got I I I never live in the present and I never live in the past. I'm always I'm always in the future. And I think that we have to recognize that the world has shifted to such a degree that unless we value and we revere and we support uh older generations, um, the world is really in trouble. We haven't got enough working capital in younger generations for businesses to function. So we have to start thinking differently about the productivity and the contribution that those older generations can make. And for me, that is the epitome of what we've done in the coaching qualification. It's saying to people, don't write yourself off and don't let other people write yourself off. And this is a really practical way that experienced coaches can help people through those transitions and live the life that they know they deserve to live.

SPEAKER_00 30:29

Well, it's just it epitomizes your catchphrase, and it's it's looking at me right now as I look at your gorgeous face. For women who want to rock but not in a chair. And I say as well, I don't want to be sitting on that porch in my rocking chair when I'm 110 thinking, I wish I'd done this, I wish I'd done that, if only no, no, no, no, no regrets, let's go do it. And if we don't do it and we don't get it right first time, let's try again and do something else. Let's just have fun, be curious, try it.

SPEAKER_01 31:01

I think that's absolutely true, and and I think for me, what we also have to acknowledge is that if we are facing something that we have never experienced before, and that is what the longevity economy is going to feel like, that's what the longevity decade is going to feel like. We are going to be facing things that we've never had to face before. You don't have to do that on your own. There is help and support of people that can help you navigate through that and take the pain and the angst away from it. Why wouldn't you want to get involved in that?

SPEAKER_00 31:33

I think that's what I love most about what I do. It is because change is scary, but it's going to happen. And these aren't just the changes that we make, which I love, you know, making those choices, stepping, taking out, leaping out of that comfort zone. These are changes that are happening externally that we've got no control over, but we can choose how we react to them, and we can choose the choices we make as a result of these changes. And this is going to be so empowering. It really is. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. So I say we're going to give your links again in a minute because you know what? You're the first, the first, you are the first ever guest A to come back. And thank you for coming back. That means the first time wasn't that bad. But also the first guest that I'm going to be re-asking your three questions. Okay. Now the question is have the answers changed? I haven't got your original answers in front of me. So this is going to be quite you can say whatever the heck you like. Yeah, you should never say that to me, can't we kick starting 2026 in star, we really are. So, Wendy. First question What is your midlife anthem? And I do remember now what it was first time, Ram.

SPEAKER_01 32:56

Um, yeah, that hasn't changed at all. It's sisters are doing it for themselves. And it just it just epitomises everything that refinement is about, and all of the fabulous women and men that I've met who are about really celebrating later life. Um, that that anthem just epitomises what they're doing. We don't wait for people to come and do it for us or to hand stuff to us on a plate. We're out there doing it for ourselves, and it is a joyous experience.

SPEAKER_00 33:29

Oh, I love that because waiting for someone else to come and do it for you it ain't gonna happen. Yeah, no, cavalry, the cavalry aren't coming. Sorry. So stop waiting, yeah. Stop waiting for certainty. Yeah, get on that horse and go for it. Oh, my colour's gone all weird. Sorry, it's I've got very uh wintry sunshine all I've gone all green. I look like the Grinch or something. On that note, what is your midlife mantra? The phrase that you live your midlife by.

SPEAKER_01 34:04

This has changed, Kate, from the last time we spoke. And and this has become much more um, it's a much more considered response now because my mantra is your legacy matters. Um, and the reason I've come to that realisation um is that what I have understood in the last 12 months is that what we do now is not just for ourselves. It's so that the women and men coming behind us who are aging don't have to jump through the ridiculous hoops that we've had to jump through. That actually their experience of later life will be more predictive, will be more positive, will be easier to navigate than than some of the experiences that I've heard about in the last 12 months. So so that has that has changed. Your legacy matters, what you do now is not just about affecting your life, but it's about creating a role model and an example and social proof of what is possible when you smash some of those self-limiting beliefs and those stereotypes that have no place in modern society.

SPEAKER_00 35:18

I love that. I love that because that really resonates with me, because that is one of the main reasons that I just had to become a midlife coach because of what I'd been through, my own midlife metamorphosis, and I just had to launch midlife unlimited to have the conversations, and and when it feels right, you you just have it's like a no-brainer, isn't it? You're like, yeah, sorry, world, but I've got to do this. Yeah, absolutely. And if you don't like it and you don't agree with me or I don't resonate with you, go elsewhere. I'm not chasing you with a big stick, but I'm I'm here introducing my legacy, creating my legacy, being me.

SPEAKER_01 36:04

And I you know that I've always been a supporter of of the podcast, Kate, right from day one. But some of the episodes that I've listened to, in some of the guests that you've had, um I know that they will have fundamentally touched somebody out there, and and that it will have changed their lives. Uh, you know, I've been around the block a lot, I've done a lot in my life. Um, and I love listening to your episodes because some of your guests are so generous in what they share, yeah, but also they they they show you the world, warts and all, and it's it's understanding how people navigate those difficulties and the challenges. Everybody can deal with success. What what what we're interested in is how they deal with challenges, how they deal with failures, and and what they do with that. And your podcast is so positive in terms of seeing people navigate those difficulties, but coming out the other side. Um, and it will have touched people and you will have changed people's lives with your with your podcast. Um, and sometimes you don't even know that because they don't always come back and say, No, they're too because they're too busy having a fair time. They're too busy having a great time, which is lovely, but it's one of the reasons why podcasts like this exist and why they are so important, because they're all part of this legacy of living a more productive, fruitful, and enjoyable life to life.

SPEAKER_00 37:33

Oh, that means a lot, thank you. Uh yeah, but I love that you get me. I love that you get what it's all about. And I I'm still working on the next question for myself, so I still don't have an answer for this, but I will be starting to write a book this year that's on my list. But what is the title of your autobiography, Wendy?

SPEAKER_01 37:53

Um and again, this has changed because when we spoke before, I thought I'd got all my ducks in a row, and I thought I'd got I'd got life nailed, and then you turn a corner and you see a whole new world that is stretched out in front of you, and you start to feel like a kid at the start of your journey all over again. So I I'm a great fan of Terry Pratchett. Um I I love his books, I love the parodies that he did. But one of the things he used to say about himself was, um, he said, I hate it when people say to me, When are you gonna get a life? He said, Because I've got enough with the nine I've already got, and and that's how I feel at the moment. And if I if I had, if I was gonna write my autobiography now, it would be how many lives can a normal people, a normal person, live? Because I feel like I'm going through almost reinvention after reinvention. I am having an absolute ball, and I don't know what next year's gonna bring, um, or this year's gonna bring. I I just don't know because I don't know what the opportunities are yet. So, how can I say what it's gonna be like? Um, what we've got to do is we have to go through life and we have to experience it, and I don't want to write my biography because it would waste too much time. I want somebody to write an autobiography after I'm gone, and I suppose it would be something like um, you know, Wendy approached every situation in the same way, not quietly walking into a room, but screeching in on a Harley Davidson saying what a ride that was. It I I want that love of life um to be experienced by everybody, and I ain't done yet.

SPEAKER_00 39:50

No, I'm just getting started. I'm just getting started, and I I love what you just said because we're all we're all looking now at at the year ahead, 2026. And there are two ways that we can look at it. And this is underpins all my coaching. We can look at it with that overwhelm, that fear, that dread of, as you say, we don't know what's coming. We know what we'd like to come. It may not happen. We know what we're going to be aiming towards. Maybe we've got some goals. We've got some ducks all lined up. But those ducks might go quacking off somewhere. It might all change. But we can look at it with that feeling of slight intrepidation, maybe a bit of dread. Or we can think, this, I'm going to. And that wasn't the microphone playing up. That was me mouthing a rude word. I'm going to go at this, as you say, I'm going to get on that, Harley. Adela, my previous guest, she can give us lessons. We're going to go off and we're going to have the ride of our lives. If it works, great. If it doesn't, we'll find another way. We'll try something else. If we get lost, we'll get a map or ask for directions.

SPEAKER_01 40:56

And do you know what, Kate? That's one of the advantages of having a lifetime of experience behind you. If it goes wrong, I guarantee you, every one of us have got a plan B. Every one of us. Because our experience gives us the ability to create that plan B in a minute. We just can't. Because we've been insane life, we've experienced it, and we can come out through the other end. And it's what younger generations very often struggle with. Um, that if they do things in a certain way and it goes terribly wrong, it seems like the end of the world. Um, they need older people around them to show that that's not the case and to give them the support and to give them courage to pick themselves up and and try something different. That is the value of the life experience that we have. And I have I have created, I don't normally do um New Year's resolutions, but I have created a new year's resolution for this year. I am going to stop telling myself that I am growing old or older. I am growing wiser, and and I absolutely believe that the less we gaslight ourselves about the number that we've reached and we start to celebrate the wisdom that we've accrued, we can do anything that we want to do.

SPEAKER_00 42:19

I love that. I love that. No, you know, I hate New Year's resolutions, but I love that, and I'll take that even more. I am growing full stop. Oh, I am growing exclamation mark. Now we're gonna go now into your contact details, but you've just given me the most fabulous segue because you've just epitomized everything that obviously me as the midlife metamorphosis coach, and obviously your new longevity. I said it thumbs up to me, um, certificate for coaches is all about. We've got to this place, we're here, hurrah. Let's get out the bunting. But we're thinking, I'm not quite sure what now. What now? Full stop. What now? Question mark. That's what this is all about, isn't it? That's what this new certification is all about. That's what if if you're listening to this and you still don't know what I do, you still don't know what coaching's all about, you're still thinking, is this something I wanted to get involved in? This hopefully has been a bit of an eye-opener episode. And now they're gonna want to get in touch with you, Wendy. Now, all your details are in the show notes, yeah. Um, and the link for tomorrow's event will make sure that that's all accessible there as well. Can you just talk me through how people can get in touch with you? And we haven't even mentioned your books. Have you got a new one coming out?

SPEAKER_01 43:33

Um yeah, I'm hoping it uh uh as uh you know at the time of recording, I want to use the the sort of Christmas break, uh the few days that I'm taking off um to add to the manuscript. So I'm about three-quarters of the way through. Uh, but in order to give myself a focus, I have given myself a uh publication date, which is April of this year now, um, for book four, which is really exciting, and that one's called Chinese Whispers.

SPEAKER_00 44:03

So links to that and links to how we can get in touch with you.

SPEAKER_01 44:07

Okay, so um, if you want to find out about uh about the coaching certificate, there's a great opportunity to do that. We're online tomorrow. Um, and what we want to do is really uh give people an opportunity to find out about the programme and then to ask any questions. Um, and you can uh you can uh look at the show notes for the link for that, or you can go on to www.refinement.biz and there is a uh as a big page that talks about that uh event that we're doing tomorrow and how you reserve your seat. It's free, so you can come along, just if you're curious, really, come along and find out what we're doing, um, and and how you might get involved if you're already an experienced coach. Um, and of course, you can always email me if you want to uh uh one-to-one about that at wendy at refinement.biz. Um, so those are the two easiest ways to get hold of me. I'd love to connect with you on LinkedIn, so please feel free to do that. And for those of you who are Substack fans, I also have a Substack account. So if you want to uh follow me, and that's where I write, I put out thought thought leader pieces about what we're talking about, about refinement, about aging, and about the importance of valuing experience um when it's been accrued and giving that a commercial value, so you can always check me out on Substack too.

SPEAKER_00 45:31

Fabulus, just like you. So, dear listeners, I would love your feedback on today's episode. A little bit different, Kickstart 2026, but we like doing things differently here on Midlife Unlimited. So if you could leave a review, or you can text or email me via the link in the show notes, come and join the Midlife Unlimited Facebook group. Um, link in the show notes, where you'll also find links to the website where obviously Wendy's guest profile is, and there's details of my midlife metamorphosis coaching. There's some VIP offers. And for all you budding experts who are thinking, right, 2026 is the year I'm going to get on those podcasts, or budding podcasters who are thinking this is the year I'm actually going to start pressing record. Come and work with me one-to-one, pop your podcast cherry. Yes, you heard that right. Pop your podcast cherry. So thank you for joining me, Wendy. It's always a pleasure. I love spending time with you. Thank you for listening. I look forward to tuning in next week because don't forget Midlife Unlimited has a new episode every Thursday available wherever you listen to your podcasts. So here's to being fabulous and flourishing together and living Midlife Unlimited. Thanks, Wendy. It's been brilliant. Thanks and happy new year to everybody. Happy New Year. Bye.