How to Beat the January Blues with Guest Emer Delaney

As January nears midway, it seems we are in the midst of the most miserable time of the year!

We've just had Quitters' Friday. Ditch the New Year's Resolutions Day is on 17th January - yes it's a thing! And Blue Monday is looming on the 19th.

Add to this the whole "New Year, New You" thing coming at us from every angle and you'd be forgiven for wishing the first month of 2026 was already behind you. 

If this resonates, resist the temptation to press fast forward and consider this episode the pause button you are yearning for. Because I'm delighted to be joined by my guest registered dietician working in women's health Emer Delaney to share insights, advice and anecdotes on How to Beat the January Blues.

Connect with Emer

https://www.myprivatediet.com/ 

https://online.myprivatediet.com/weightloss-guide

Transcript

SPEAKER_02: 0:01

Welcome to Midlife Unlimited, the podcast for women who want more. I'm your host, Kate Porter, the Midlife Metamorphosis coach, and I know what it's like to feel stuck navigating the midlife maze. I've looked in the mirror and thought, who is that woman? So Midlife Unlimited is here to let you know you are not alone. You don't have to put on a brave face and put up with it. You don't have to play it safe. Midlife Unlimited is all about ripping off that mask and telling it like it really is. Nothing is off limits because together there's no limit to what we can achieve. So, welcome to today's episode. Now, as January nears midway, it seems we're now in the mists of the most miserable time of the year. We've just had Quitters Friday, ditched the New Year's Resolutions Days on the 17th of January. Yep, it's a thing. And Blue Monday is looming on the 19th. Add to this the whole New Year, New You thing coming at us from every angle, and you'd be forgiven for wishing the first month of 2026 was already behind you. Plus, if you're like me, that lurger you've been dodging all Christmas has finally caught up with you and you're feeling a bit mere. If this resonates, resist the temptation to press fast forward and consider this episode the pause button you're yearning for. Because I'm delighted to be joined by my guest today, Ema Delaney, registered dietitian working in women's health, to talk about how to beat the January blues. So welcome, Ema. It's fabulous to have you here.

SPEAKER_00: 1:48

Hi, Kate. I'm thrilled to be here. Thanks so much for having me.

SPEAKER_02: 1:51

Yes, lovely to see your smiley face, especially if I'm feeling a bit bunged up. So apologies if I sound a bit old, but we're gonna go for it anyway, because that's the kind of women we are. So let's do it. Yeah, absolutely. January, it is a funny old month, isn't it? We've got all those feelings that can creep up of overwhelm for what's coming, regret of what we didn't do in 2025. That are we're gonna go back to the same old to-do list. And if you're feeling run down as well and the weather's a bit, it can put a dampener on any plans you've got, can't it?

SPEAKER_00: 2:25

Most definitely. I think I feel a little bit sorry for January, if I'm completely honest. We you know start the month making these huge promises to ourselves, thinking we're gonna take over the world, we are gonna, you know, do everything that we didn't do last year. And then when we kind of sit down and start back to work, we just realise you know it it's really, really difficult because the promises or the the um goals that we made are absolutely huge and just not realistic. So we're setting ourselves up to fail.

SPEAKER_02: 2:56

No, absolutely, absolutely. And I say I make I make no um secret of how I feel about New Year's resolutions, but it's not just the resolutions, is it? It is, as you say, the goals that we made last year that didn't come to fruition. And we'll go into this a bit more in a bit, but it's asking really well why, not just blatantly try the same thing again and say I'm delighted later on we're going to be talking through your top tips. I've got some to fling into the mix as well, about how to well zhuzh up your January really, make us stop feeling mere and start feeling more. Um, but I'd like to talk a bit about these these days that I mentioned in the intro because I'm I'm not a fan of days anyway. But these are all, I mean, this ditch the new year's resolution day was a new one to me, but no, apparently it's a thing. Quitter's Day, second Friday in January, Blue Monday, third Monday in January. Now, obviously, I'm not trying to put you know make light of uh depression and people that are really suffering with their mental health, reach out, please do. But I think all of us can when you get to mid-January, it's a blinking long month as well. But my thinking about some of these days is are they not an excuse for us? If we if we are teetering, if we have made dreaded New Year resolutions that were based on arbitrary whims rather than what we actually want, it's quite an easy um excuse to go, oh wow, most of the population quits today. I might as well jump on the bandwagon.

SPEAKER_00: 4:32

Yeah, I I do think there is an element of that because it does give you that excuse, it does give you that reason to say, okay, well, you know, I've tried, it's just a little bit too hard, it's not fitting ill, you know, the school run is back. I'm, you know, elderly parents have got sick, and it's just a little bit too hard. And I think a lot of women, we because we're so busy juggling work, juggling family, possibly, you know, children, elderly children, we come last, we put ourselves last, and we don't always prioritize ourselves. And I think that fits in with those days quite nicely in one sense, because it gives you a not an excuse, but it it possibly might make it easier to to stop. And also, you know, I just want to come back to what I mentioned earlier about making these resolutions because they are, you know, they can be so huge, and so many women I speak to, you know, maybe the end of December or beginning of January, you know, they're saying, okay, well, this year is the year I'm gonna, you know, lose 15 kilos and I'm going to, you know, do a uh you know a 10k in February, and you know, I'm going to fit into my old jeans that have been sitting in the cover for the last you know X amount of years, and they're looking at that huge, huge hill to climb, and it's so so difficult. Yeah, and so that's why we need to like break things down. If you know if we want to um keep the promises that we're making to ourselves and if we want to stay on track, it's more about making things achievable, making things realistic and goals that are small. So once we achieve those, we can then go move on to the next one and the next one. So we're building this foundation rather than jumping straight to yay, I've built a house in three weeks rather than I've set a solid foundation that I can build on in three weeks.

SPEAKER_02: 6:20

No, no, I I couldn't agree with you more because I say these ideas we're like, yes, 15 kilograms, fantastic. But as you say, it's such a huge, huge goal. And I love chunking, I love the whole idea of breaking things down into manageable steps as well. And realistic, it's a weird word, but it is because when you think, yes, you and you find out how you can do it as well. So you think, right, what do I need to do this? And also why? Why am I why am I wanting to do it? I mean, is that a question you encounter with the women you work with? Just finding out exactly what it is that's their driving factor. Because we're basically talking about motivation, aren't we? We're talking about keeping going and finding that motivation.

SPEAKER_00: 7:08

Yeah, that that motivation that's gonna last. Uh, I think that that's really key. For a lot of the women that I work with and and um support, they're there are two reasons. One is because they are really frustrated and upset about this kind of belly fat and and weight that's kind of crept on around the middle that I know those forbidden words, those words that just you know send shivers down people's spines. It is something that creeps up on everyone, regardless whether you change your eating or your exercise. It's gonna happen because of that change in hormones.

SPEAKER_02: 7:43

Yeah. Well, I'll tell you something. When I stopped drinking seven years ago now, I lost loads of weight. Remember, I wasn't massively overweight, but I lost and I felt really good. I was like, yeah, this is but then and that coincided with menopause as well. But I still and it kept off for a bit, but now the last 18 months, and I've stopped smoking as well, coming up for a year ago, which I I'd cut right down, but I still was holding on to those couple a day. No, did that as well. But now my bloated this belly, it's like, oh my oh no, yeah. Where did that blinking cup? Because I don't eat meat, I'm I'm not vegan, I'm vegetarian, but it's like I try and eat really healthily, I try and exercise, I try and get my steps in. It's like, what the bloody hell's going on with this? And it's like it's not my hip, I've got triangular, they're not on my hips, and it's not it, it's not an overhang, it's just like this weird kind of lump. Oh my gosh, I would show everyone, but I'm not going to.

SPEAKER_00: 8:47

I know. And that's the thing that you know so many women get really, like I said, really frustrated, but also very upset about because it's not something that they've ever been used to. And you know, over a couple of months, a couple of years, it just suddenly kind of disappears. And it's places where you've just not because it's not if you've had kids, it's not the same as after you've had a child, it's not that kind of no, it's just and it's all you know, so much of it is down to the change in hormones because our bodies, you know, they're they don't have that that monthly estrogen that's um that's coming from the ovaries, so your our bodies are so clever at compensating, and what happens is there are you know our cells and everything are still looking for that estrogen, so we produce more fat because fat cells produce something that's very similar to estrogen, a hormone that's very similar, so that's why we produce more, and that is kind of the the the reason or the rationale of where where it comes from, but we can still do things, but we just need to be super, super strategic. And I think in our 20s and 30s, if we wanted to lose weight or change our body shape, or you just fit more comfortably in our clothes, it was all about doing more exercise, eating less, cutting those calories. And once we move into our kind of late 30s, early 40s, and beyond, it is a different, it has it's so so strategic. And you need to nine times out of ten, the people that I work with they need to be eating more, they need to be doing less cardio, more, more um resistance exercise, and um, so and that that's the kind of the key. But like I said, we have you know it's driven into us for you know 10.

SPEAKER_02: 10:28

Well, no, you're exactly right because I I was of the mentality, well, I need to stop eating again then. And then it's like, well, no, because then I get tired, exactly. And then when I'm tired, I mean, I literally come three o'clock, I wake up early. Um, interesting though, since I stopped smoking, I used to wake up 4:30 a.m., no alarm, wide awake, but raring to go. But since I've lost that nicotine, what I don't know if it's in all in my head, but now I'm fine feeling far more sluggish. It's a real effort. I've got to get up at six every morning because I've got a diabetic dog, so that there's no I can you know, no way around that.

SPEAKER_00: 11:07

But now the temptation to crawl back into bed, which I never had before, and I say, get to three o'clock in the afternoon, and I'm like, I start to like yeah, and because there's so many pieces of the jigsaw puzzle, it's not just about eating well or doing exercise or doing the right type of exercise or you know, making sure you're hitting seven to ten thousand steps a day. Sleep is so important, and it all fits in or feeds into each other, so you need to be eating well in order to sleep well, and then once you're sleeping well, you will have the energy and the motivation um to do the exercise, and also you know, just kind of to enjoy life, you know, to get outside when we can, maybe not on a day like today because it's so miserable.

SPEAKER_02: 11:51

But well, that that's another factor I was gonna say about this time of year because we had so many like good intentions, let's say let's not call them resolutions, but we'll say yes. I mean, I know there are loads of charity campaigns as well in January to get out every day, exercise for 30 minutes a day. But I say at the moment it's snowing here on top of black ice, and I'm like, I really for my own safety, do I really want to? I mean, I love, I go for a walk every day if I can, and I'm but and also I've got this lurgy, it's like, am I really being sensible going for the exercise? But I know that I will suffer mentally by not getting outside and getting that fresh air and just having that. I'm I love mindfulness, I love just bringing because we were talking earlier about, you know, I don't do regrets, looking backwards is not something that benefits me, and that definitely I don't, yeah, I'm glad you're with me. And with the fabulous women I work with, we can just waste so much time. I'm all about being present in the moment and then planning for the future. Uh but these these are other things outside our control, really, aren't they? We know, although obviously supplements, but I seem to take every blinking supplement going, and then all the latest thing I keep getting on my feed, because I know these feeds, the adverts, they they link to what you've been looking at, don't they? Oh, yeah, Chris. The phrase again and again, you know, beat the bloat, cortisol, belly, and all that. I mean, are these real things or aren't they just trying to com me out of my money?

SPEAKER_00: 13:24

I think as a no, there are some supplements that are definitely beneficial, you know. For example, vitamin D, omega-3, if you aren't having oily fit, B12, if you've got low, low B12, um, and yeah, I said vitamin D, they are recognised as being very beneficial. The others very much depend on your diet. And if you're having a healthy, very diet and you're eating lots of different colourful veg and lots of different colourful fruit, you're having lots of different plants and seeds, like I said, we can get everything that we need through our diet. In terms of the like the cortisol belly, that comes back to the the the fat gathering that I meant, uh that I that I mentioned earlier. And if we the the more the more we exercise from a cardio perspective, the the more we increase our cortisol. Now, cortisol is a stress hormone, we know that it's it is important for the fight or flight because it protects us, and that's exactly what it's designed for, but that's in that short burst. But chronic levels of cortisol are really damaging. So if you are a woman in midlife who's doing, you know, three, four, five cardio workouts a day or going for a couple of different runs a week, you're increasing your cortisol level, and that is going to put that extra stress on your body, and your body is actually going to hold on to that belly fat. So that's what I mentioned earlier. It's all about being really strategic, making sure you're doing the right type of exercise and making sure you're doing you know the right amount. Cardio, don't get me wrong, cardio is important for uh for your heart health, but for if you're a woman and you are trying to you know change body shape or work on that belly fat or you know to reduce um reduce your fat uh if that's one of your targets, well then you know, cardio once a week, I would say. Yeah, um, and then the rest your um resistance exercises.

SPEAKER_02: 15:23

Because it is, isn't it? I mean, I I've used the phrase before, but this is a time of use it or lose it, definitely. But also, like so many other changes that we're having to go through, and I don't just mean menopause, I mean all sorts of things, relationships, work, etc. It's a time of reassessing not just what we do with our bodies in terms of exercise, but what we put into it, isn't it? In terms of food and supplements if we decide, and obviously hormone therapy if that's something that we decide to do as well. And that's really interesting what you just said, because it can be very much reverting to. I mean, I don't want to go back, I wouldn't want to be 20 again, I wouldn't want to be 30, or maybe 40 again. But as you say, the natural thing is to oh, right, this wobbly bit that wasn't there, that's there, you think revert back to previous behavior, don't you? Or what did I do before? So talk me through. Well, hey, if you could share a bit of your own midlife metamorphosis journey, but also how do you help women? Because I'm presuming kind of the whole mindset shift of it's not about doing what you used to do, whatever that was, or if perhaps you never used to do anything, perhaps you were always slim, you know, you didn't have to worry about it. It's we're not okay. We're not trying to guilt shame, we're not trying to worry, but it's about feeling good for you. We're not we're not talking about impressing your husband, your wife, your kids, your friends. No, we're not talking about putting the wear the bloody bikini. I don't care what you look like in it, wear the bikini, but we're talking about we've got this far. Thank you. Whoever got us here, us, we got ourselves here. What can we do now to make sure that every precious moment we've got going forward, we can enjoy to the max. That's what I'm all about, and that's why I'm delighted that you're here today, because I I think that's a shared mission, isn't it? It's about how can we treat this wonderful body and mind going forward?

SPEAKER_00: 17:22

Absolutely. Our bodies are amazing, they are absolutely phenomenal, they are so smart, so clever, you know, they compensate compensate in so many different ways. And for me, I mean, I think for me personally, I have always, I mean, I've been a dietitian for over 20 years, I've always been quite active, you know, uh aware of what I've what I put in my body, absolutely. Then I started to notice, you know, my muscle tone wasn't what it, you know, kind of losing slight muscle tone in my legs, and I had this muffin top, and I'm like, what the fuck? What's going on here? I haven't changed how I've eaten. I have been doing the exact same kind of exercise. So that's where this journey started, really, for me, from a personal point of view, um, and doing more research and spending a lot more time, you know, with other clients and other ladies, you know, it's it's not just about the numbers on the scales, you know, and I think that's one of the first things that I, you know, try to shift that that mindset with people that I work with. It's it's and the BMI as well.

SPEAKER_02: 18:22

I keep reading different things about that, and how that actually doesn't mean anything, or it depends, you know, how can someone I mean I'm just I never quite made five foot seven, so I'm five, six and a bit, but I've got size seven feet, I've got quite big hands, I've got quite a big head. I don't mean that you know, I've got massive boobs, there's nothing I can do about that. That's a year's breastfeeding help with that. But how can I compare to someone who's naturally slender but still five foot six, you know, the in terms of the whole body mass index thing.

SPEAKER_00: 18:56

Well, I body mass is a really crude marker, and I think anyone in kind of healthcare recognizes that. If you are, you know, if for example, if you are an athlete and you're really, really muscly, it will say the BMI will say that you are overweight because muscle weight is heavier than fat. So that's what I'm saying, it's a really crude marker. Some people use it, but for me, it's it's like I said, it's a lot, it's more than just numbers on a scale, it is you know, it's about how you feel in yourself, it's about your strength, it's about how comfortable you feel in your clothes, uh, you and the confidence in you as well. And when again, when I work with uh with ladies, we you know we look at body measurement, um, so looking at waist and hip circumferences, because that will tell you a lot more than just focusing on the numbers because when that must be, I was gonna say that the actual personalized element, and I'd say I'm not trying to flog your services at all.

SPEAKER_02: 19:49

I've never worked with you, I'll make that very clear. But we came into each other's world, we we're on this, you know, we share a mission, we share a passion, and that's why you're here. And obviously, we'll be given your contact details later in the episode. And obviously, you're on the show notes and you've got your guest profile. But I'm really here to pick your brains because, as you said, I must admit, before Christmas, when I thought, right, I'm going to sign up to these, I think there's the McMillan one that I've signed up for, the um exercise for 30 minutes a day, um, fundraising. But there were so many, and I think probably once you start scrolling, you get more and more adverts coming through, don't you? Particularly on Facebook. Um and all of them are like, right, let's go and work out your measurements. How old are you? This, that, and everything else. And they were all like, God, you're obese. And I just thought, oh. Oh. Especially now when I started noticing that this crept up over the last, I say 18 months. And you think, I don't feel great. Well, no, I do feel good, don't get me wrong, but I I don't like having this wobbly bit. There are there are items of clothing that I'm like, I can't wear that at the moment. Do I get rid of it or do I get rid of this? And I'm thinking, I'm gonna get rid of this. Because my aim is, and I've made it, I've announced it before. I'm gonna tell you as well, so you can hold me to it. Um I always forget how old I am. I'm 57 this year, and for my 60th, I want a six-pack. Six pack for 60. So I think that's reasonable. I think that's a reasonable. If you could see my stomach, you're like, really? No. It's it's covered in gyney scars as well, because I've had cyst removed and all sorts, but it won't be an attractive six. No, six pack's more up, isn't it? And you're gonna have to get a really good bra so you can see it. But I don't it might help with a massive boobs, who knows?

SPEAKER_00: 21:39

But uh that that's a target, but I do think it's achievable. Yeah, I I think it's important to have targets because then you you're working towards something and it's an easy way to measure how far you've come. But I think you mean you you need to find a sweet spot for me. Um, and you know, whether it is through body measurements or if you wanted to, you know, to weigh yourself. But again, I it's so many people when when we when I first meet them, they're like, okay, well, I'm wearing myself every day. It's like no no no no no no don't wear yourself every day. I was doing that.

SPEAKER_02: 22:09

Yeah. When I when I lost the the weight, I was it was so exciting because I was just seeing the kilograms falling away.

SPEAKER_00: 22:17

Yeah, and yeah, because it it depends what you're doing. If you are you know doing it maybe intermittent fasting, or if you are fasting, uh if you're losing weight really, really quickly, that weight is going to be fluid, it's going to be water because if you stop eating carbohydrate, we can store carbs in our body. That's what we do, we store it in our liver and in our muscles. But if you you know, if you stop eating, then you will lose water very, very quickly. So when people are doing that and they see the you know the scales dropping by a pound or two when they're weighing themselves every day, like oh come on, that's fantastic. It is impossible. Do I do it before my poo or after my poo? Yeah. I'm like, Emir, I'm completely naked. No, yeah, no clothes on.

unknown: 23:04

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 23:06

But you know, I always say because our weight fluctuates every single day. So, you know, I'm very much my mantra is if you want to wear yourself same day of the week, same time of the day, same day of the week, once a week, that's it. Because you know, we're we're human. If we are working really hard, if we are, you know, putting our our meal plan into prep or into place and we're you know bulk cooking and we're you know, we're doing our weights, even if they're at home because you don't want to go to the gym because it's too scary, and we're doing all that work, and yet you're weighing yourself every day, you're not seeing any result because some people they focus on, and that's what's important to them. You become really disillusioned and really disappointed, and then you you know, your natural kind of go-to is okay, well, I'm just gonna stop doing this because it's not working. So, yeah, so you know, like I said, my my thing is only wear yourself once a week, avoiding any kind of food just isn't recommended. We are, if you think of our bodies as vehicles as a car, a car needs petrol to move, we need carbohydrate as our energy source, and that's what it's for. And carbohydrate has such a bad reputation, but it's all about having the right type and the right amount, especially in midlife, because we like I said, we we need carbs to function, and you know, it gives us our energy. Uh, and if we don't have that, you know, we won't be able to utilize the protein that we're eating, our body won't be able to break it down, we won't have enough energy to get up uh you know off our backsides, maybe and and well say that I really do at the moment.

SPEAKER_02: 24:36

I've really been struggling with that, say, dips of literally and uh well at the moment, just trying to get motivated at all. I don't mean mentally motivated, I mean literally the physical, like but I think this is a great time just kind of got to slide into your top tips because we've been alluding to lots of things as well. But I think one of the things that's already struck me, the brilliant advice and insights you've been given is don't guilt trip yourself.

SPEAKER_00: 25:03

Absolutely not, absolutely not. It's that so so important. You've got to be kind to yourself as a woman. We there is so much pressure on us, you know. If we're working, if we have got kids, whether they're young kids or older kids, you know, GCSE, A level, I could be doing exams, I could be at university, you've got your elderly parents that you're looking after. You're also you know trying to keep running a home and doing everything. We are juggling so many or spinning so many plates, it is ridiculous. So, you know, it's important though to prioritize yourself because you do need to find time to look after yourself because you know, I want to I've got a young child, I want to be there for him when I'm older. You know, I want to be strong, I want to be fit. I see my parents and I see how frail my dad is becoming, and I think, oh my gosh, it's you know, it's heartbreaking because you know that day is going to come, you know that call you're gonna get that.

SPEAKER_02: 25:59

It literally is sandwich generation, is it? And it was interesting what you said just now about kids being away at university, because even if your kids aren't physically living with you, the whole empty nesting thing really can take its toll emotionally and physically as well. I know, I mean, I've worked with some I've got a book I'm working on because it's such uh and it's not just for a month, it can go on a year, two years, because it's another shift that we're having to deal with. And we're questioning it's I just said at the beginning of the episode every time, you know, who is that woman? And that all ties in with how we're feeling about how we look, how we're feeling about our energy levels, about how we feel, because it's a real what you know. If you're so used to doing, say the football runs and the I mean, I was a rowing mum, but that's all stops, and there might be exercise that you tied in with doing that as well. You know, I often used to go for a walk while waiting for the rowing. And it these are things that have shifted that you might not realise you're not doing that anymore in terms of exercise. But when you stop and think, you're like, hang on a minute, that makes sense now.

SPEAKER_00: 27:09

Yeah, and it's it's a it's managing the physical side of that, so you know, doing that less exercise, but also the emotional side of it. And you know, it's a new uh our job as parents, I think, is to you know bring up our kids to be the best, you know, the best version of themselves and to give them the you know all the tools that they need so that they can go out in the world and have a you know fantastic life and do as well as they possibly can. And you know, once you do that job, it's like brilliant, but then they're gone.

SPEAKER_02: 27:35

I know it's so bittersweet, isn't it? Because you think the the days leading up to it, you're kind of like part of you would do anything to change it, and then the other part is like, Well, why? This is what I've been working towards for the last 18 years. Yeah, you don't want to, but you're like, but but I do.

SPEAKER_00: 27:53

Yeah, yeah. So it's you know, so it's it's like I said, it's utilizing that time and not being hard on yourself and realizing you know it's okay to put yourself if you have that time, you know, it will it's it's okay to prioritize yourself. And you know, like I said, I I want to be there for my you know, for my child and for my kids when I get older so that I'm not a burden, and you know, and I have the energy and the strength to play with hopefully, you know, their children, my grandchildren. Absolutely. So, so putting the time and work in now, you know, my future self is going to thank me for that. And you know, I'm I'm again another kind of mantra of mine is very much it's about lifestyle, you know, it's lifestyle changes. We're all going to have days where, you know, like you said, or it there it's snowing on black ice where you are, you don't want to go out for a walk, which is absolutely fine because that doesn't happen every day, you know. And if there are a couple of days during the winter when that happens, it's it's okay. That's why consistency is so important. All on the other days, you go out and you do your walk, and you know, whether you know, that's yeah, if you hit your target or if you hit your steps, you're out, you're turning up and you're being consistent, and that is your overall lifestyle, you know. And it's and for me, it's the same in terms of exercise and diet. You know, don't get me wrong, yeah. Over Christmas, I had some lovely food that I wouldn't uh usually have, but that's the whole part of it, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02: 29:13

You know, makes pie o'clock, yes.

SPEAKER_00: 29:15

Well, well, exactly, you know. Um, enjoy a piece of Christmas cake, enjoy some pudding, uh, because it's yeah, it's the social aspect of food as well, which is so, so important. And you know, I I had that. I'm like, right, fine, you know, I picked that box, I enjoyed it, but that's not my norm. So then that's why, you know, I mentioned it's it's not about a diet, it's about a lifestyle and allowing yourself and recognizing that it's okay, you know, to have times when you do relax the rules, if you want to say in terms of food or in terms of exercise, because the other 90% of the time you're doing what you enjoy and what you know is really going to be beneficial for you.

unknown: 29:54

No.

SPEAKER_02: 29:55

Well, it's about enjoying it as well, though, isn't it? I mean, as you say, it it's but the whole idea of denial can be, oh, it makes you, it's like with anything, it makes you want things more, and it doesn't make it you're making it harder on yourself. Exactly. And I I love the fact that we were talking about motivation, and to me, one of the main things that helps drive motivation is knowing your why. Now I know that's a phrase that used a lot, but we talked about, you know, not just saying I want to lose X number of kilograms, but asking yourself, why do I want to do that? Now we we said sod the bikini, you know, what is it? Is it as you said, because you think, right, I want to be more active with my kids, or because I want to actually be able to walk with the dog for an hour and a half with my head set on, listening to midlife unlimited. And I want to be able to do that, or I want to be able to go swimming for three times, but or I want to go for you know, all these things that tie in, which will help with the motivation, and that's really how to switch from this January blues, this January meh, to feeling fired up, focused, feeling like, yeah, come on, January, let's make the most of it rather than wishing it was February. Um, and another thing as well is the procrastination side of it. And I do like to do the whole, and I can't remember where it comes from, but that idea when you're sitting on the sofa and you think, oh, I really need to do something, and the shoulds creep in, and we know how I feel about that. Literally do the three, two, one and do it because the more you sit around thinking about it, you could have done it five times over, couldn't you? And I do love the idea that if it takes less than five minutes to do it, definitely do it now. But if it does take a little bit longer, put a note, make a you know, set a smart objective to do it, to get it done within a timescale and make yourself accountable.

SPEAKER_00: 31:52

Exactly. I think that's really important making yourself accountable because you know you you've made this promise to yourself, you know you want to do it, and it's just you know it's taking action, and something that I try to really focus on. I mean, I find it I'm human, I find it difficult at times, but instead of saying, Oh, I really should do this, I'm like, I'm going to, I must do it, and that's just how it is. It has to be done. And just pick myself up and go and do it. I I also, for me personally, music is a huge thing that I you know, it's really it's it's like a switch, it just changes something in me. If I'm feeling a little down or a little blue, or I'm like, oh gosh, I really can't be bothered doing that, but I know I have to, I really must. I'll go and put on you know some really upbeat music, and it just like I said, it's a switch and it just changes my mood. And I'm a huge advocate of of that, uh, and that works really well for me. And whether I end up, you know, doing a little dance in the kitchen on my way.

SPEAKER_02: 32:47

No, it's so true. I can't. I'm really excited about your questions coming up in a bit then as well, because we're going to find out what your midlife answer is. But before that, no, but we talked about goals and we talked about not looking backwards, looking well now, enjoying the moment now, whether that's mindfulness or just thinking and taking stock, and you know, looking in the mirror and thinking, I blinking love you, you're amazing, and then putting plans together and goals together for the future, but as you brilliantly said, making them small, excuse me, achievable, chunking it down, actually breaking it down. And that brings in another word that I love, which is the word yet, because so often at this time of year, if we're beating ourselves up and we've we've missed going to the gym or we haven't been for a walk for a couple of days and we're like, oh well, I've failed now, that's it. And I think, no, no, no, no, no. Ask yourself why, why didn't I actually do it? And there's always a reason. Either you were tired or something else happened. So just as you say, be kind to yourself, say, right, okay, didn't do it, but there's nothing stopping me getting back into the routine and building the routine. And we know that habits they don't take just 21 days, they take a lot longer, they change from person to person. But I think another thing that's really, really good, yeah. So adding the word yet to that old I can't, because that makes you think, okay, I can't do it yet. Again, what do I need to do? Who do I need to ask? What support do I need? For example, you know, coming, getting in touch with you, getting in touch with me, you know, who do I need to speak to? What what equipment do I need? What what or what what will motivate me? And that comes, I've I don't normally do words of the year, but I've actually picked two this year, which are more, what a surprise, and less. So, what do I need less of so that I can do more? What is dragging me down? I love that what yeah, so that I what light me up? It's like a little balancing act, isn't it? Because we're not going to feel fabulous all the time, but it is about finding the balance that works for us.

SPEAKER_00: 34:55

Exactly. And you know, whether that's around exercise or food or just you know, general, you know, general motivation. I think you know, you can look at things, just take exercise for example. You don't want to go to the gym because some people find it scary, they don't really know what they're doing, or you know, they don't want to know what um what equipment there is or how to do it. You know, there's so many things that you can do at home.

SPEAKER_02: 35:17

And it can be blinking expensive as well. I mean, I know there are probably there are probably some good deals out there at the moment, but no, that can be another factor if you're trying to tighten your belt a bit. You say, I mean, obviously, January is a huge time for book booking holidays as well. Perhaps you're saving up to actually go away this year because you didn't manage to go away last year. So, no, absolutely looking at different ways, alternatives to the gym.

SPEAKER_00: 35:39

Yeah, and you know, there's so many things that you can do at home. You don't need any equipment, you know, we uh your body can be a weight, we can use our body for uh as as a way for so many things. There are lots of different um you know um uh programs online or whether you know exercises on YouTube. So you if like I'm trying to say there are ways that you can still do things, oh yeah, but but you know, by just looking at what equipment you have, maybe, or or you know, your kind of day-to-day um your day-to-day responsibilities at home. So it it's you know, looking looking to see what you've got to do and the flexibility, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02: 36:14

Yeah, and the inspiration because I know obviously January really is challenge month central, isn't it, when it comes to physical, but I've seen like wall yoga and chair yoga and this and that. And I say maybe make January a bit less mere by having a bit of fun. Don't I'm not saying spend pennies and sign up to all different things because obviously at the end of the day, they are after your money, especially now, especially now we're all you know. Free can be fabulous when you take these little freebies and actually then adapt them into a routine or you know, a lifestyle choice for yourself without spending God knows how much, two goodness knows how many apps and that kind of thing. Because all you could you could end up with a phone full of apps that you never need, and then the guilt comes in, it's like, oh my goodness, I'm signed up for this, that, and everything else.

SPEAKER_00: 37:07

And then the algorithm just throws them in your face because they recognize, you know, you're just inundated with everything.

SPEAKER_02: 37:13

I just it never ceases to amaze me just how quickly it shifts as well. Because one minute you can be looking at, I don't know, AI, because I really want to find out more about that. I don't want to be well, I think I want to start using my journalism skills because I can spot AI a mile off, and I've heard that it's kind of increasingly in demand for people to come along and actually humanize AI. So I'm thinking, well, I might I might look at doing that as a little sideline. So but the minute you and then suddenly all these AI things are coming up, I'm like, oh, do I sign up for that little freebie thing? And I'll sign up. And it's like, Kate, no, you haven't got time for that. Yeah. So before we get, and I want to know your music now, before we go into your three questions that I ask each of my guests, rounding off, if if you're I mean, obviously, you look you're looking fabulous, you're looking glowing, you're looking full of help, unlike me, who looks a bit snossy and disgusting. If one of the ladies who are going to be getting in touch with you, but if they if they came to you now and said, Ema, January, midway through, I'm feeling a bit shite, not ill, not just just feeling a bit meh, what would be your the first thing you'd say? Go on, do this.

SPEAKER_00: 38:27

I would say look at your meal pattern. Yeah, because again, so many so many women when I first start working with them, they're you know, I don't eat breakfast, never have, I just you know, it's not for me. Okay, that's no problem, you know, deal dig a bit deeper, and then they will tend to become you know hungrier throughout the day and then just eat so much in the evening time, and then they'll come, you know, they're they're they feel really quite guilty, they feel really sluggish. So that would be my first thing. Look at meal pattern. Uh having something in the morning, even if it's you know, an hour after you wake up, you know, half a banana, a couple of spoons of yogurt, I think that's achievable for everyone to do, even if you're not a breakfast eater. Yeah, but making that small change is going to be something I mean, and that's what I'm talking about, making changes that are small, like it's that small. If you can manage to establish that, you that is something that you'll be able to build on because then your body will recognize that you know, oh, I'm getting some nutrition. Because at the moment, in this midlife phase, when we wake in the morning, if we don't have anything to eat for hours and hours, our body just goes into starvation mode thinking, I'm not gonna get any any nutrition. I need to hold on to all of my fat stores and my fat cells because I don't know when I'm gonna get any food next. And that's the incredible the ability of it, like I said, you know, in terms of compensation. How it works. So one small tiny change would be to make that. Look at your meal pan or look at your meal pattern. If you're not having anything in the morning, that's something you know, even instead of half banana, a couple of crackers, a couple of bits of yogurt or spoons of yogurt, that would be a small change that you can build on. It's definitely going to be beneficial for you.

SPEAKER_02: 40:20

I love that because you literally just read my mind. Because these are the things I keep saying, right, I'm going to do that. And some days I do, and then I get sidetracked, and then as you say, it gets like lunchtime, and I'm like, starving now, and the hummus comes out, and I'm like, that's it. Right. Well, I'm looking forward to giving your details a little while, but before we get there, the three questions are coming. And the first one, I can't wait to hear this. This is part of your kitchen disco. What is the title of your midlife anthem?

SPEAKER_00: 40:53

So this came to me immediately, I have to say, when you asked. And it is Elton John's I'm Still Standing.

SPEAKER_02: 41:00

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 41:01

Yeah. It is something personally and professionally that I really resonate with because the last, I don't know, eight years from a you know, personal and professional have been one of huge change, and change can be very difficult to navigate, and it's very easy to kind of sit and think, oh my lord, you know, my world is crashing down around me. I am not able to do anything at all. But when I hear those words, I'm like, you know what? I am so proud of where I have come, where I was, you know, maybe seven years ago to where I am now. And that song really resonates, and I just I love it. Whenever, whenever I hear it. And when I went to the um I went to see Elton John when he had his tour recently, and it was just yeah, it was amazing. So that's that's my my anthem. It helps remember how far I've come.

SPEAKER_02: 41:56

And I'm I'm delighted for you that you have turned everything around. Oh bless, thank you. Yeah, no, it's no, sorry, I'm feeling quite huh, then having having a moment, having a moment, quick, before I have a big moment, let us go into your midlife mantra.

SPEAKER_00: 42:14

This is probably one that links into that, and one I am always telling my son is to never give up.

SPEAKER_01: 42:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 42:21

Ever on anything, whether it's work, whether it's promises that you've made, whether it is, you know, personal goals, life can be funny. You know, you you think you are, you know, you're you're sailing along and you're having a great time and everything's going well, and then suddenly, bam, you know, the rug is pulled from under your feet without any expectation or realization. Well, you did realise, but you know, no matter how bad how how bad you feel your day is going or the situation that you're in, you can always change it, you can always make things better. And that is my yeah, just never give up ever on anything, no matter how old you are or how young you are.

SPEAKER_02: 43:05

No, that's that's that's so true because the action, the choices, there's always something that can be done. And it may not seem the most logical thing at the time, but sometimes the things that seem the most obscure choices, even like, why would I do that? But that can actually be the thing that is the right, well perhaps not the word, not right thing to do, but the thing that's best for you and your loved ones.

SPEAKER_00: 43:30

Yeah, and my sister said something to me, something to me maybe six years ago, and it's really resonated. It's everything is figure outable, you can figure out absolutely everything, no matter how you know, I don't say well how bad, but how you know well, maybe how bad it is, you you think it is, there is always a way to figure things out.

SPEAKER_02: 43:51

And I think the important thing is, as you say, to actually be willing and to try to figure it out. The worst thing you can do is ignore it, uh procrastinate, push it under the carpet, pretend it's not happening, but by actually focusing on it, as you say, and just say and taking the small steps as well.

SPEAKER_00: 44:10

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02: 44:10

Whatever it is, just saying, right, this can be figured out, it's figure outable. I love that word, I love that word. So, final question before we go into your contact details. What is the title of your autobiography?

SPEAKER_00: 44:25

So, this I found a little bit more tricky, possibly, but I think it would be the way home. Oh, yeah. Because, you know, we change, don't we? We we're I'm going, you know, we're all going through our women in midlife, we're going through this change. It is, you know, it can be difficult to navigate. There isn't a huge amount of information out there, but you know, in terms of research and research on women specifically, there it's you know, um, there is more that is becoming uh known, which is really great. So it's trying to navigate this way, and I am you know yeah, I'm I'm I'm beginning to feel a little bit more like the old person, I like the old me. Um, I think I got a little bit lost maybe over the last couple of years, but that would be mine the way home back to um someone who I'm you know very happy and proud to be. And um, yeah. So I think that's more on a personal level, I suppose, but I I think professionally, you know, learning and doing all the research that I have done about you know, about what we need to do in terms of our our body, our eating habits, and how you know we need to change to um to support our hormones, and that's kind of another journey, you know, the way home, and finding out what we need to do to get to where I want to be and where I'm happy yet.

SPEAKER_02: 45:52

I love that because it's what midlife metamorphosis is all about to me is this that that kind of falling in love with yourself again and actually unleashing the woman you deserve to be and going, yeah. Absolutely, we're all right, we're completely perfect. We wouldn't want to be bloody perfect anyway. That's boring.

SPEAKER_00: 46:10

Well, I just don't think there is anything as perfect, you know, it's it's accepting and and loving who you are.

SPEAKER_02: 46:16

Yeah. Imperfectly imperfect, exactly.

SPEAKER_00: 46:20

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02: 46:21

So, as I say, I I've mentioned before, all your details, contact details are in the show notes for our episode um and on the Midlife Unlimited podcast website. But can you talk us through how lovely listeners can get in contact with you and anything you've got coming up?

SPEAKER_00: 46:38

Sure, absolutely. So my website is myprivatediet.com. Um, so you can find me there or email on info at myprivatiet.com. And there is a sign-up page to my blog on my landing page on my website, and then also some link to socials there as well. So that's um, yeah, so that's how your listeners can find me. And in terms of what I've got coming up at the end of January, beginning of February to support ongoing changes and ongoing promises that we're making, I'm running my um another another cohort of my rejuvenate program, which is a six-week program for women in midlife to, yeah, with the help that they need to um look at their their education or their exercise and nutrition changing needs.

SPEAKER_02: 47:29

Oh, excellent. And all your details will be on the website. Absolutely. Everything will be on the website. Yeah, brilliant, brilliant. Oh, how lovely, lovely, lovely. Oh, I'm see, I'm feeling fired up, focused, and now you've we've done it. We've transformed despite the Lurgy, despite the Lurgy. Mistress, I'd love your feedback on today's episode. Has it turned your January around? Yes, no more quitters, no more Blue Monday. No, we're feeling good. So it'd be fabulous if you could leave a review, or you can email or text me via the link in the show notes, and you can come and join the Midlife Unlimited podcast Facebook group. Again, there's a link there, and for the website where you'll find details of how to join the wait list for my more program, my award-winning more programme, um, which is coming up in later this year. Um, and for all you budding experts who want to transform from nervous podcast guest wannabe into the expert that podcast hosts want on their show. I've still got places available this month for my one-to-one pop your podcast cherry. Yes, you heard that right. Zoom sessions. So thank you for joining me, Ema. Thank you for bearing up with my slightly snotty voice. Um, thank you for listening. I look forward to you tuning in next week because don't forget Midlife Unlimited has a new episode every Thursday available wherever you listen to your podcasts. So here's to being fabulous and flourishing together and living Midlife Unlimited. Thanks, Ema. You've been brilliant.

SPEAKER_00: 49:01

Thanks, Kate. It's been a pleasure.

SPEAKER_02: 49:03

Bye.